To ask how many of you married for money?

Indeed - men who do this are unanimously termed cocklodgers on MN, aren't they. But when a woman does it, she's just looking out for her financial security?

What it comes down to is that an alarming proportion of women in 2025 really do believe that a man's natural role is to earn money and a woman's natural role is to look after the house. And they'll try to frame that in quasi-feminist terms without acknowledging that it's the same old regressive evolutionary bullshit that holds women back.

Had money and married someone with more money. Bad news is, this is a near impossibility for a single mum

No, not married FOR money, but financial matters were certainly part of the overall picture that I seriously considered for my OH (we've been together 38 years) and my previous serious boyfriend who I dumped because of his lack of money awareness and carelessness. I certainly wouldn't have married OH if I hadn't loved him and enjoyed time with him, shared values, etc., but if he'd had no prospects and was a flippant spendthrift, I'd have ended it before we got to the stage of marriage, house buying, children, etc. So it's not the main factor, but it IS a major factor.

I only know one person who has married specifically for money (although it can be a motivating factor, I suppose). But I know quite a few people who are remaining married because of money (usually because there are children involved and splitting would be complicated financially).

No.

We met at university. By the end of our first date (which admittedly lasted the whole weekend) DH informed me, in all seriousness, that he was in love with me and we would be spending the rest of our lives together! He also told me he would be a multi millionaire and retire by the age of 50! I might have laughed, but didn't doubt him for a second.

He started his first, very successful, company whilst still at university. We lived the high life but also lived through some very deep lows (the 2008 recession nearly broke us).

It's taken a couple of extra years, but he's retiring this year and we'll never have to worry about money again. But, the money never mattered to me. I fell in love with him on that first date and have never stopped falling in love with him.

If you marry purely for money then you're selling a piece of your soul.

Yes @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle I definitely expected it to change and of course it did. Wouldnt have been able to love a lazy layabout. We were ( and are) both professionals in well paid careers.
However neither of us have inheritances or family money.

Well it’s not guaranteed. I know a Cambridge-educated bloke who trained to be a barrister but couldn’t find a full pupillage, so he switched to teaching, which he loves. He and his wife (who he married almost straight out of university) are still together 30 years after they met.

many women will go with rich men but these men will get with these women for love - but men are called the shallow ones?

I experienced it reversed. I was 20, I was in a job I was successful in, I had my own home, my own car, I was thriving. My ex was 29, he lived with his mum, couldn’t drive and didn’t even have a job. He got with me, would sit in my house all day whilst I was at work. I was his personal taxi driver. He continued to refuse to work, yet I was the one who paid for his room share rent, his multiple holidays with his friends, his drug habit, his designer clothes etc.

So think of it reversed. It’s miserable, you’ll be using someone for their money. I think so many women do this, become mothers and lose any sort of ambition or success they would have if they was single and standing on their own two feet. And if you leave or divorce, then you lose everything.

Yes and I was stupidly naive. He wasn't the respectable middle class man with a decent job my parents hoped for but they welcomed him into the family. He was an abusive narcissist.

He's onto his next victim now, although she's probably more his type than I was. I hope she has her head screwed on and doesn't get screwed over by him.

My mum did . In the fifties she was left with myself and my brother plus her own younger siblings as her mother had died . Mum was really struggling financially when she met my stepdad . He got the housekeeper he wanted and she got security . He wasn’t a wealthy man but he was a hard worker. He was very boring and controlling but they rubbed along for years until he died. When we became adults we tried to give mum the social life and holidays she had missed out on . Mum certainly paid for her security.

Has anyone done the opposite and married a a skint, no hoper for love and how did it turn out?

Well, everyone finds different things funny. Some people like Mrs Brown‘s Boys, for example.

No. Because some things are more important.

Being completely honest, none of the single men I know (mostly DHs friends) who are wealthy would marry a woman with kids and definitely not one who didn’t bring equal finances to the relationship.

Most older men with money, that are looking at dating, are well aware of the sort of women who are interested in them. That’s why they’re single - not because they’re not lovely people, but because they don’t trust woman not to be after them for money, and many posters on this thread have proven their fears justified.

but thats the thing not all cheaters would feel guilty etc

This is not something to settle for.

I would rather be on my death bed thinking about all the fond memories with the person I deeply loved and treasured rather than thinking of all the possessions the money of a random man I didn’t really love bought me.

I would rather have to work harder, live in a smaller house in a less desirable area but be with someone I truly love and am happy with rather than marry for money, live in a bigger house etc yet be going to be empty at night because he isn’t my person.

I thought it was nasty and not funny. Debbie Macgee had to take it in good part but it wasn't funny or clever.

I did and so did my DW.
So we were both disappointed.

It was a joke though. She was a comedian and said it for comic effect.

Which was really unfair because they were together before he was famous.

partly yes, but we’re very happy and my love and respect for him has grown so much over the years. He offers financial security and for me that is huge. He’s a also a very loving partner and father. We’re lucky

I didn't marry for money, DH and I earned much the same throughout our marriage, but marrying young and staying married was definitely good for me financially.

Hmmm, this isn't a simple question really. A big part of my decision to marry DH was tied in to financial security but I wouldn't say I married him for money. He'd say "what money?" but he grew up differently than I did.

He's not rich but he's an only child in a family with some very moderate generational wealth (land rich more than cash rich tbh). We were gifted the land we built our house on and his parents paid a substantial amount towards the actual build/finishing of the house. We were mortgage free before 40.

He'll inherit their house and some cash in the future - not sure how much but would guess something over £100k. He may also inherit more land from a childless uncle.

I couldn't have married him just for the security his money offered though. I am attracted to him, he's kind, decent and my best friend who's always in my corner. He's been incredibly good to my DD from a previous relationship who was 7 when we met. I'm sometimes a bit sad that we don't share more interests though - for example, I read loads of books, he doesn't read any. I rarely have deep conversations with him as I know he's not interested. He's a simple, practical person. Our relationship isn't perfect but we're content/happy and the security of his financial/family status is a big part of that for me.

Love that Cher quote!

I'm seeing so many posts in this thread about how important financial stability is and how money makes everything more comfortable. Yes... and what I don't understand is why the answer to this seems to be to find a man and become dependent on him, rather than to MAKE THE MONEY YOURSELF if it's so crucial. That seems more like financial stability to me - you have the money but also control over it because it's yours.

Agree..Passion doesnt last.
I am not saying marry for money. But I wouldnt marry someone with zero prospects or no drive.

Yeah this is so much more important than what his salary is. Frittering, gambling, not knowing the value of things and generally wasting money isn't correlated to wealth.

(I never let men pay on first dates because I wanted to lay down a marker of equality, but also because I thought men who were out there paying for 10 first dates every month with women they were meeting for the first time were bloody stupid with their money.)

Also long-term financial goals - are you on the same page when it comes to being "comfortable enough" or are you going to go for pots of money (and accept all the down sides that come with it such as lack of time, stress, workaholism and so on).

I'm not a spender by nature and now I've reached a point in my life where I don't really have to think or worry about money, I find this is quite enough for me. DP is on the same page. I'd find it very stressful to either be with someone who had a "keeping up with the Joneses" mindset about spending, OR to be with someone for whom affluent comfort wasn't enough and, for example, kept pressuring me to go for higher-earning jobs that I don't want.