To ask how many of you married for money?

I didn’t. I married a man who had a decent medium level career - he’s now retired as he’s older than me - and who supports me in mine. We absolutely love each other and live a modest but secure life. It’s good for us, though many would probably want ‘more.’ Me having my own job was invaluable when he got cancer as it meant we didn’t have financial worries to add into the mix. I am from a poor background so didn’t have high expectations money-wise, I just wanted someone who loves me and vice versa.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I’d married someone stashed but it doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. I feel a sense of pride in my own achievements and can’t imagine being with a very rich man and being seen as a gold digger or an appendage. I wouldn’t like a relationship where I felt on the back foot in any way - I’ve noticed rich people tend to marry in their own circles!

Nope but I wish I had…! Or been encouraged to make my own! I get by but it’s a struggle. Ex was (and is) useless with money! I stupidly married for love…! 😅

You sound like a horrible person. Leave this man alone to find someone who loves him. Go find a man you love.

Using people is disgusting.

No!

DH and I had about £500 between us when we got married.

25 years later we've made a few pennies.

I have never regretted it. Even went on UC and haven’t had a holiday of any kind in 8 years but I am so much happier and I love sleeping alone!!

Not saying you will be unhappy OP as I don’t know but his subdued and unaffectionate nature would scare me off.

Not sure how it's possible to stay in love with a spouse who doesn't show physical affection. There's nothing lonelier than living with someone and not getting a hug after a bad day (or even after the death of a family member) and eventually knowing not to even hope for one. Never getting a caress or a touch to make you feel attractive, no matter the occasion or how much effort you put into your appearance. It goes along with being "subdued" too--just a general lack of effort. Eventually this erodes any romantic connection that once (briefly) existed and makes it extremely difficult to overcome other problems in the marriage as they arise due to a lack of a deeper physical connection that typically separates marriage from friendship. So then more problems arise.

That's a level of loneliness that is very difficult to live with day after day, even at a 5* resort.

I would say the majority of us saying that we took/take finances into consideration do have our own money and/or financial ambitions, which is precisely why we didn’t look/aren’t looking for someone not on at least equal footing.

As someone with my own and family wealth, I wasn’t looking to either sacrifice my own lifestyle to match theirs, or fund another adult (running a real risk of being taken advantage of). Some people are happy to do that and that’s fine, but that isn’t going to suit everyone, and there’s nothing wrong with that either.

The majority also haven’t said that financial security is the only factor taken into consideration, but rather it’s one part of overall compatibility.

Nope. The man I’m marrying soon hasn’t got much but I feel like I’ve won the lottery.
The richest man on earth couldn’t replace him and I’m not money motivated anyway, I wouldn’t lower myself to use someone like that.

Going on the Mrs Merton show was not for the faint hearted. Debbie can hold her own.

In answer to the question. YES

Just curious...is your partner bad to you/abusive? Or do you just not love him?

It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I know from personal experience that someone that you think has integrity, morals, is the 'lovely guy' can turn out to be absolutely awful, even after being with them for years, having built up a life with them. We see it on here all the time. So marrying for money? Probably not the most daft idea anyone has had.

What about a man who had a lower income but a very large paid off house? Or a man on a large salary renting with no equity? Genuine questions.

I think it's a bit of a minefield and takes time. Which I don't have a lot of 😄

I'd never marry someone purely for financial reasons. What I would do, if I was ever single again is date men who are on an equal footing, salary wise. Being the higher earner when you have children together is fine. You're a family. But without those shared children ( and when there aren't going to be any) , you're simply subsidising another adult. I wouldn't be prepared to do that and think too highly of myself to allow a man too 🤣.

No because I respect myself too much

😂 No, I came from a family who had good money… married someone from a broke background.

Would never marry for money, always go for the person themselves.

That’s a good idea regardless of the sex of your children and their partner.

I would do just about anything for money.

Couldn't have said it better. This is exactly my life only I'm still in it. Think about my exit plan daily. Can't imagine making the same decisions all over again if given the choice.

OP: I'd stop dating him immediately. Being married to a man who is not affectionate is soul-destroying. Stop putting another minute into this guy so that you are available to find someone with long-term potential.

I’d be very careful. My ex is a high earner and I was so miserable with him I longed to be with an ordinary guy on an ordinary salary. The unaffectionate and subdued aspects of his personality could end up killing your spirit. I ended up despising 5* star hotels and would have rather shared a tent in a soggy field with a man I actually enjoyed being around day and night.

Not D, xH no 1, loaded, turned out to be a violent controlling bully. I didn't marry him for money but money wasn't an inducement to stay.
I didn't get a penny maintenance or half the house either.
Not a problem.

to be honest here

I was a single mum and married a wealthy man,
for love not money. We have been together for 16 years and happily married for 7.

It took me 9 years to agree to marry him because, and I’m going to here, despite us living together after being together for 2 years. I was still a bit set in my single parent mindset!

Honestly, I will threads like these is a bit of a reminder to make sure that you put the family wealth in trust, there’ll be no daughter-in-law who does well out of my son.