Page 12 | To ask how many of you married for money?

Quietsurrender · 2025-04-23T19:56:34+00:00

Because I am considering it. Divorced with DC and starting to really struggle financially and now also in other ways.

Returnofthemark · 23/04/2025 21:32

No, but I've never had to worry about money thanks to my amazing parents.

I married the best person I've ever met, took me over 30 years to find him but I'm so glad i waited!

Crushed23 · 23/04/2025 21:31

I could never, ever make myself financially dependent on a man. It’s literally unthinkable.

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 23/04/2025 21:30

Hahaha if only. Married for love and now I have to work for the rest of eternity. Would choose him again though. 10/10.

JHound · 23/04/2025 21:29

Hastentoadd · 23/04/2025 21:26

How long did you stay married to him and did he die or divorce?

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I have never married!

Hence me saying I wish I had married for money / taken the emotion out of dating.

cookingthebooks · 23/04/2025 21:29

@Quietsurrender

The whole concept of and attitude towards marriage has changed a lot in the last few generations. Ultimately until very recently considering financial security as part of accepting a proposal was completely normal.
Should you marry for money? No
Should it be a very real part of the package you are considering? Yes!

I married a man I love completely but yes a part of that was knowing he provided financial security. Equally I had an immensely wealthy ex who I called it off with because I just wasn’t attracted to anymore and didn’t feel our values aligned. I could have married much richer but for a worse overall package.

blueshoes · 23/04/2025 21:28

You know what they say. If you marry for money, you earn every penny.

weegiemum · 23/04/2025 21:28

Married dh when he was a medical student (and I was working). 30 years on he’s a GP on 6 figures and I’m disabled. I didn’t marry him for his money but it does make our lives easier now I can’t work any more.

Hastentoadd · 23/04/2025 21:26

JHound · 23/04/2025 21:19

I did not but I wish I had. Man I wasted my youth!

How long did you stay married to him and did he die or divorce?

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 23/04/2025 21:25

No,he married me for the money , my parents bought him a car, lent him money, treated him like a son. He in turn abused their daughter and stayed long enough to get 'his' share of the money.

If I ever get married again it will be to someone who can bring something to the marriage.

AngelinaFibres · 23/04/2025 21:21

I married him because I loved him but I would never have married him if he didn't have any money. I was a divorced single mother of 2 with a full time teaching post, a mortgaged house and a decent car. I didn't need to marry anyone. I would not have put what I had worked so hard for at risk by marrying a man with less than I had.

MsCactus · 23/04/2025 21:21

I would! Met my current DP at 19 and we're both now high earners.

I had no concept of marrying for money at the time as we were so young, but tbh if I found myself single now I'd probably prefer something with ambition, drive and money etc

JHound · 23/04/2025 21:20

Withoutfearorfavour · 23/04/2025 21:13

Do you Not think he deserves somebody who loves him ? Would you want that for your son?

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Women settle for men like that everyday to be married / have kids and a lot of those men have no money.

If you need to settle may as well get somebody with money.

TheTigerWhoCameToBrunch · 23/04/2025 21:20

I always planned to, unfortunately didn’t, but still with I had.

Money smooths over a lot.

JHound · 23/04/2025 21:19

I did not but I wish I had. Man I wasted my youth!

AppleBlossomMay · 23/04/2025 21:18

Mum2jenny · 23/04/2025 21:06

Marry for money?
Just no, marry because you love the person and want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Money is not the solution for all ills.

These are my thoughts and feelings, too. I couldn't imagine marrying someone unless I really loved him and wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. I agree that money isn't going to solve everything.

Withoutfearorfavour · 23/04/2025 21:13

Quietsurrender · 23/04/2025 21:02

Just for reference, I do really like the man in question. He's funny, smart, hard working, has integrity, I feel safe around him. I even feel an attraction growing. However, there is no passion. He's unaffectionate and quite subdued in some ways.

Do you Not think he deserves somebody who loves him ? Would you want that for your son?

MillicentMaybe · 23/04/2025 21:13

Nope. Married him cos I love him and he loves me. 55 years since we met, and he still makes my heart beat a little faster.

Withoutfearorfavour · 23/04/2025 21:12

What a strange place this has become

mrswarthog · 23/04/2025 21:12

LobeliaBaggins · 23/04/2025 21:07

Didnt marry for money. But I married a highly educated and ambitious man because I was a highly educated and ambitious woman. I find education and ambition attractive.

Like this poster, I married someone who had the same attitude as me.

AbiJane · 23/04/2025 21:09

Quietsurrender · 23/04/2025 21:02

Just for reference, I do really like the man in question. He's funny, smart, hard working, has integrity, I feel safe around him. I even feel an attraction growing. However, there is no passion. He's unaffectionate and quite subdued in some ways.

Ah sorry, thought it was a general question rather than your specific situation.

In your position I’d probably give it a certain amount of time as he sounds as though he has a lot of good qualities. However, if there is no tension or passion after you’ve spent more time together then that may be your answer.

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/04/2025 21:08

You’ve already been divorced once. Why would you make another divorce almost inevitable by marrying somebody you find unaffectionate and subdued and passionless? And the idea of marrying for money is completely one-sided: don’t you think this bloke deserves somebody who actually loves him and wants to be with him for who he is, rather than just dip into his bank account? Would you want to find out somebody had married you just for access to your house or money?

LovelyCupOfTeaThankYou · 23/04/2025 21:07

I could have done with an ex but I became bored in the relationship. The man I married is fun and energetic, wanted to have children and our priorities were the same. I loved my ex but I would have been bored and he’d have been at work a lot.

LobeliaBaggins · 23/04/2025 21:07

Didnt marry for money. But I married a highly educated and ambitious man because I was a highly educated and ambitious woman. I find education and ambition attractive.

namechangeGOT · 23/04/2025 21:07

If you divorce will you want to take any of his money?

ArtemisiaTheArtist · 23/04/2025 21:07

No. The image of my feminist mother would loom large in my dreams. I tend to agree with her. There's far more value in your self-worth as somebody who can live off their own earnings than having to rely on a (rich, male) partner. Also, you need your own escape fund, just in case.