To ask how many of you married for money?

Yes, part of the point of going to University is to be able to give you the opportunity to enter well paid careers. You can’t really say ‘I didn’t marry for money, when we met he was just a penniless law student, he just happened to then become a partner in a Magic Circle firm’, for example.

There's nothing wrong with wanting financial security. As long as you're not going to deprive him of a loving and fulfilling relationship, get that bag 💰

Has he proposed?

Yes. I met my DH at work. We earned the same. So I guess he could equally be accused of marrying me for money 🤷🏻‍♀️. I married him because I love him, he just also happened to be in a well paid career. As did I.

Same here. And for anyone saying "oh we were peniless students" - well presumably you were expecting that to change?

Nah but I'm single so if anybody knows somebody .... Set me up ❤️😂

Exactly. Also, just because you have a wealthy husband doesn't mean that you, as a woman, don't have your own money, career and assets.

Yes - by the same token, I've also weirdly seen very unattractive men cheat and attractive men be entirely faithful.

You get awful broke men, you get really nice/kind wealthy men. It's not an either or scenario. You can find someone wealthy who you also love

Absolutely not. I first met DP when we students, and equally skint. We got together as a couple some years later, but money has definitely never been a factor in our relationship. Neither of us is that sort of person, and those are not our values.

I hope you didn’t marry for the money!

Love my DH very much, we both work our buts off for very little gain!

If something happened to our marriage I would be selective in any partner and would want them to be financially well off. Not because I want their money (make my own) but because having money makes life easier and I would not want to have to carry someone else. Also I would like to be treated now and then as I would treat them.

I'm not surprised that people want to marry for money, though I would have thought it more straightforward to earn your own if it means that much to you. But I am surprised so many people seem to think that a man with money (or even ambition and a work ethic) today will be a man with money in 10 years' time.

Jobs can be lost. Brains can be burnt out. Bodies can be injured. Entire industries are undergoing sea changes at the moment. You can do everything right and a business can still go under because of events you don't control. Bad luck can happen.

It's likely that any long-term marriage will experience financial ups and downs, and actually liking each other is the only thing that'll get you through it.

This was my situation too.

I married for love but luckily the man I fell in love with is wealthy. Life is easy and we never worry about finances. I have equal access to everything. I'm not reliant on him for money and the majority of assets are in my name.

I did, but I didn't ONLY marry him for his money. People often think you have to choose between love and money, and that men with money are bad people while broke men are honest and decent. It's just not reality.

Money can be lost!

I didn’t, we were very young when we met, his income has gone massively up but for years it wasn’t. I wouldn’t marry for money in your situation as you say there isn’t any passion and he’s unaffectionate. Money can go up and money can go down, for a whole host of reasons and then you could be stuck in a cold passionless marriage and in a financial dilemma too.

Absolutely not.

I earn my own money and wouldn't marry someone I didn't love, it isn't fair to them.

No. We met in uni and were penniless but very happy. We have been very happy since but also had times when finances were very tight. He earns six figures now and says if I wanted to give up work, he’d double his income and I could walk out tomorrow. I love my job though and have just returned full time after almost 8 years of part time. He’s just as supportive of my career; we’re a partnership, but I like having something that’s mine.

No, but I wouldn't have fallen in love with DH if he didn't have the drive and potential to become wealthy. If he had been a waster with no ambition I wouldn't have found that attractive. But I knew and could see he wanted to succeed. Took a few years of climbing the ladder but now owns his own very successful business.
He would similarly not have gone for me had I had no ambition to succeed, we have supported each others dreams

We all know the dating pool is a cesspit in your late 40’s / 50’s. Offset by the fact that neither of you particularly wants the all encompassing relationships of your 20’s.
Money can help in the beginning to make it all fun, easy and possibilities.

It doesn’t take long to realise you’re stuck with someone you don’t really like that much though. I grew to resent the money.

I didn't but I can't say I wouldn't have.

My childhood friend did, it was always a major consideration in her choice of partners, she said if it came to it she would rather be miserable with money than without.

She got divorced and married money again. She has always worked and has has a very good life and both of her husbands have been good men, she never appears to be miserable.

Nope. I can think of literally nothing worse.

The thought of being reliant on a man for money makes me feel physically unwell. I can't think of anything which frightens me more than having to stay with someone I don't like, or even that I'm indifferent to, to get the bills paid.

So I have been looking for a quarter century so I still have another 5 years before I should give up home it seems. I shall keep looking!