Childcare is so expensive I’m considering just going off sick for summer holidays

Just checking that you are also using this to help pay for childcare: https://www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare

Absolutely. I’m very fortunate with a flexible employer and a DH who also has a flexible job. But it’s still incredibly difficult to work with a high needs disabled child. We can’t get tax credits because none of the people qualified to care for our child are willing/able to be an ofsted registered nanny. There should be an exception for home based childcare for disabled children that it doesn’t need to be ofsted registered. It seems really unfair that it costs so, so much more than a holiday club or after school but also we get zero help with it.

I really don’t think this is one of them. I was and am a planner. I had no comprehension that specialist childcare could be £250 a day. That is going to be beyond the reach of most people even very high earners. The OP and her husband are trying to work and I absolutely think there should be more state funded support to help people like the OP.

Have you looked at all your work policies. We can buy up to 20 days extra holidays plus there’s parental leave or apply for term time only.

We used to use our annual leave separately which just about covered all school holidays but obviously meant minimal family holidays.

Assume your ds gets DLA so that would cover some paid care if you still need it.

I’m sure no other parent at your workplace would mind that at all, not a bit…!

Unpaid parental leave - if you’re a higher rate tax payer then the net impact is lower than the gross one because the unpaid bit all comes off the higher rate tax bit of your pay.

Also - look at your employees flexible working and family friendly policies. An annualised hours type contract may be worth looking into. It’s a similar effect to buying leave and taking unpaid parental leave, but formalises things through your contract. Rather than work on part time every week, you work less over the full year.

Be aware that your employer can refuse to let you take parental leave at the requested time if it doesn't suit the business.

As a manager I would 100% work with you on a flexible leave application to work 46/48 weeks a year as the summer is a quieter time. So hopefully that is a good option for you 🤞

Mine are aged 28-39 now. I was a FT working single parent. I managed. Just. It’s awful I know.
My DGC parents have finally been able to stop paying £££ in childcare and they are loving it.
It’s nothing new I’m afraid.

All sorts of scenarios and contingencies can be planned for.

A lot of people don’t know about parental leave- it isn’t very well promoted at all. I believe it is more flexible for parents looking after disabled children. Normally you have to request full weeks.

OP it is really a miracle you’ve managed the juggle facing childcare at £250 a day- many wouldn’t so you are doing well to be holding down a job at all.

They should. It’s hardly uncommon.
”Dear, before we ttc, how will we cope if one of us becomes ill or disabled? What will we do if one of our children has high needs or disability?”

Yes, you can only use 4 weeks a year. But it is 18 per child.

How can someone plan on having a disabled child? Did you really plan on detail for every potential outcome?

I’m assuming you considered that you might have a child for whom care would cost £250 a day before you had children?
Thats far beyond considering normal childcare needs

And society needs to provide adequate childcare provision for children with complex needs. Parents can hardly plan for a child with a high level of need and a months DLA at high rate would cover not quite two days of childcare. Unpaid parental leave is an option but limited over the lifetime of a child and parents of disabled children don’t get more, they just can use it differently.

Until we grapple realistically with childcare (and education) for children with high needs, we will continue to exclude their parents from the workforce losing talent and tax.

Don’t go off sick unless you really have no alternative. You have a legal right to unpaid ordinary parental leave. If you have a disabled child you can take this in blocks of 1 day at a time. I use it to go part time in the summer to reduce the costs and spend time with my disabled child (whose childcare costs are more than I’m paid and aren’t eligible for the normal help as provided by a specialist 1:1 person).

She's said she's willing to take unpaid leave once that was suggested, I don't think this is coming from a desire to defraud her employer.

She's also said that she has a child with needs that makes childcare costs very expensive. To be fair, no-one plans for that.

Bear in mind they can say no to what but not no in general

Is the 18 weeks parental leave the total allowance until the child turns 18? Assuming it must be and not 18 weeks per year?! (I wish it was this!)

Yeah, stupid cow, choosing a disabled child.

ditto the take unpaid leave

how about retraining? teaching assistant to work term time only? all holidays off?

Agree. It’s basically perpetrating fraud on your employer and taking advantage of co workers.

It baffles me why people don’t figure this out before producing children. Care issues are hardly a mysterious secret.

This sounds like a great idea ☝️ and you'd never have to worry again, about covering th summer holiday.