Have you ever contemplated getting pregnant and saying it was an accident?

🙄🙄🙄

While it’s true that both men and women should understand how reproduction works, the idea that men are always equally responsible when a pregnancy occurs ignores the potential for deception or manipulation. Not all sexual encounters are built on full transparency or equal power. If a man is explicitly told that his partner is on birth control — or if she actively tampers with contraception or lies about using it — then his assumption that pregnancy is unlikely is based on trust, not ignorance. In such cases, it is unfair to blame him for “not knowing how babies are made” when he was given false information.

Of course, men can and should take responsibility for their own protection, but relationships often involve trust — and when that trust is broken, it’s not stupidity or negligence on the man’s part; it’s betrayal. Blaming the man alone oversimplifies situations where deceit played a central role.

No never contemplated it but tbf DH was the one who wanted children not me. Even if I did though I wouldn’t be able to do it. I think a child should be wanted by both parents

How can it be an accident or a suprise to the man? They know how babies are made don't they? I can't believe so many people are treating men like poor deceived people. If they don't want a baby, they can wear a fucking condom. If they are surprised the other person got pregnant then they need to read an Usborne book on how babies are made.

Well remind your son's that they can use contraception if they don't want a child instead of expecting the woman to do it all.

No, but someone once admitted to me they did. I don't condone it but, equally, I've found that I really don't judge her.

Perhaps that's because she's a genuinely lovely person and her husband was thrilled to have a child.

There was a thread a while ago in which the OP wanted to divorce her husband but wanted to have a baby with him first!

How many people carry on fertility treatments in a shit relationship? That's an interesting one.

My now DH believed that his exw had got pregnant four times whilst “religiously” taking the pill. He really believed he had “super sperm” 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Some women actually do do this.

A friend went off birth control because she felt her husband would never be ready to actually commit to ttc. He was aware and actually unbothered and agreed with her logic...they have more DCs now

Each and every day, everyone is free to set boundaries and to get up and walk away.

I haven’t thought this and wouldn’t do it. I’d be so angry if a guy took the condom off last minute without me knowing, or tricked me into pregnancy. I think it’s such a cruel and controlling thing to do.

I think women do sometimes have their time wasted in bad faith or without the man properly thinking it through at least.

Well it'd be quite a short conversation 'lads, you know how babies are made? Use condoms if you're ever unsure what you'd want to if sex resulted in a pregnancy'.

This. Women act as if they have no agency. She can have and communicate a clear timeframe. After that she can tell him she is coming off the pill or leave and seek a new man.

When you hear about some women claiming to have been strung along 8 / 10 / 15 years you have to wonder…how??

I mean you can only be strung along for years if you allow it.

You can always communicate that you are going off the pill or leave.

I struggle to agree with. They do if the are thrown carrots, like oh I’ll think about marriage after the big project, X and at etc.
Oh I definitely do want kids but let’s just get the savings up a bit first. Two years of savings later he suddenly doesn’t want kids.

No one gets “strung along” without her own consent. Come on!!

I’m don’t agree with it, but the situations where men string women along for years and the pull the promise of a baby when she’s close to menopause and people don’t talk about that nearly as much.

Even conservative countries have single mothers. Some South American countries for example, conservative and staunchly catholic have very high single motherhood rates.
But in the UK at least, a very risky thing to do.

I guess it depends on the country. My birth country is still a bit conservative so it happens there often.

My coworker who was on her 30's did it with her "friends with benefits", even though he told her he didn't want anything serious with her. His Catholic conservative parents pushed him to marry her, they married and even had another kid. Are they truly happy? Who knows! But they sure post lots of FB and Instagram pictures.

My cousin always told us that at 30 years old she would have a child even without marriage. Well, that happened exactly at 30 with a "separated" boyfriend, the whole family believes that he was fully married and they were fling. In this case, she didn't do it to trap him but failed to disclose that she just wanted a baby.

My own ex boyfriend left me because his ex got pregnant, so they had to marry. We had just been dating for a month and was going to dump him anyway, hahah so it worked out.

Anecdotal, but 50% of the blokes on my NCT group stated that this was how they ended up with children.

Plus one other bloke outside my NCT friends.

My SIL* though

Never and I had to wait a couple of years for dh to "feel ready".

My SIL though royally fucked over my brother and trapped him with 2 oooooopsie didn't see that coming babies.

He was then unfaithful to her because essentially he doesn't love her but feels duty bound and has subsequently stayed with her.

He is on a cocktail of medication including anti-depressives.

She is a total loon and bitter and rough as they come. Charming.

She ruined his life and hers too.

The only person I know who has done this is an absolute fruitcake

Friend suggested I did this when the man I was madly in love with wouldn’t commit. This was about 35 years ago. No I didn’t.

Just remembered I know someone who did. Well she said she didn’t know how it had happened 🙄 but had also told me she really liked his house and could live there happily ( much older man) and knew he’d always wanted children and she wouldn’t have to work if she had his baby. Yes, all worked as she wanted.