Have you ever contemplated getting pregnant and saying it was an accident?

Junnieee · 2025-04-23T18:17:40+00:00

I thought about this many times before we had DD (now 7). It was never something I would have acted upon but over the years at least three friends have said things in passing that have made me think they’ve shared such thoughts. One friend actually said she often thought about it as her DH kept putting off the time to ttc. Is this that common? Do a lot of women have these thoughts when they get that urge to be a mother?

expat321 · 29/04/2025 19:15

KimberleyClark · 29/04/2025 13:14

If a woman is strongly ethically or religiously against termination, to the extent she feels she has no choice but to continue the pregnancy then surely she should be taking responsibility for her own contraception anyway, not relying on the man.

Yes!

JHound · 29/04/2025 18:27

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:21

That’s ridiculous

if a woman wants a baby it’s her right

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Nobody has a “right” to a child nor do they have a right to override somebody’s consent.

JHound · 29/04/2025 18:26

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:32

In the uk 1 in 5 children do not have a father figure in their lives

left to men the population would die out!😁

This does not justify theft of consent.

JHound · 29/04/2025 18:25

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:28

Having a child is far far more important than complying to a man’s needs

Yeah - rapists all over the world have this same mentality.

KimberleyClark · 29/04/2025 18:13

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:28

Having a child is far far more important than complying to a man’s needs

Wtf?

Firefly1987 · 29/04/2025 17:48

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:32

In the uk 1 in 5 children do not have a father figure in their lives

left to men the population would die out!😁

Oh well what a cause for celebration those stats are?! Lets just create more fatherless children then shall we. So if men don't do what you want you're going to manipulate them to get what you want anyway? And that's fine is it? Ugh despicable, hope you're not actually serious.

Dodeedoo · 29/04/2025 17:41

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/04/2025 17:36

So the man either has to be a complete deadbeat and willingly ignore his child, and not be a part if their life (which makes him a shit) or he he is forced to spend the rest of his life being a parent, when he did not want to be.

No regard at all for the child here...a child deserves to be wanted by both parents.

Noone has a right to have a child. Its a human being not a goldfish

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I don’t think there is much point in arguing with this person. They are either inherently selfish or lack intelligence.

Whaleandsnail6 · 29/04/2025 17:36

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:25

As long as she doesn’t expect anything from the man (and tbh a lot men are not invested in family life) I think it’s fine.

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So the man either has to be a complete deadbeat and willingly ignore his child, and not be a part if their life (which makes him a shit) or he he is forced to spend the rest of his life being a parent, when he did not want to be.

No regard at all for the child here...a child deserves to be wanted by both parents.

Noone has a right to have a child. Its a human being not a goldfish

pambeesleyhalpert · 29/04/2025 17:31

I know a fair few people who have done tbis

WhereIsMyJumper · 29/04/2025 16:33

No, I have never even contemplated doing this, would never do this, and have never met anyone that has (to my knowledge) done this because it’s appalling behaviour

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:32

In the uk 1 in 5 children do not have a father figure in their lives

left to men the population would die out!😁

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:28

Having a child is far far more important than complying to a man’s needs

Dodeedoo · 29/04/2025 16:25

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:25

As long as she doesn’t expect anything from the man (and tbh a lot men are not invested in family life) I think it’s fine.

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Wow

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:25

Dodeedoo · 29/04/2025 16:23

Not her right to trick someone into it though, Is it??

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As long as she doesn’t expect anything from the man (and tbh a lot men are not invested in family life) I think it’s fine.

Dodeedoo · 29/04/2025 16:23

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:21

That’s ridiculous

if a woman wants a baby it’s her right

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Not her right to trick someone into it though, Is it??

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 29/04/2025 16:23

ZoggyStirdust · 29/04/2025 16:05

No but he could be expected to pay out thousands in child support over the next 20 years.

it’s morally wrong whichever party does it and anyone claiming otherwise is an apologist for appalling behaviour.

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Well GBH and murder are both morally wrong, but one is worse than the other.

Dodeedoo · 29/04/2025 16:22

suburberphobe · 23/04/2025 19:32

Women are biologically made for having children. It's a basic thing.

Men are biologically made to spread their seed.

Pity culture didn't catch up to make it all perfect.

But then we would live in a boring life.

What a shitty post

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 16:21

TheHerboriste · 29/04/2025 16:07

The utter lack of morals, character and integrity demonstrated on this thread is staggering.

Tricking someone into parenthood is worse than rape, in my book. It's a lifelong burden and a theft of their reproductive autonomy.

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That’s ridiculous

if a woman wants a baby it’s her right

ZoggyStirdust · 29/04/2025 16:09

TheHerboriste · 29/04/2025 16:07

The utter lack of morals, character and integrity demonstrated on this thread is staggering.

Tricking someone into parenthood is worse than rape, in my book. It's a lifelong burden and a theft of their reproductive autonomy.

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Spot on

TheHerboriste · 29/04/2025 16:07

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 15:55

I think it’s fine to have an “accident “ .

i completely understand women who go to any lengths to have a child

The utter lack of morals, character and integrity demonstrated on this thread is staggering.

Tricking someone into parenthood is worse than rape, in my book. It's a lifelong burden and a theft of their reproductive autonomy.

ZoggyStirdust · 29/04/2025 16:05

Brocsacoille · 29/04/2025 14:16

With respect how?

I had a guy stealth me years ago, he wanted to come inside me without a condom. If I had ended up pregnant he had absolutely no intention of taking the baby and raising it. It would’ve totally upended my life, in a way that doesn’t happen in the reverse. No woman tricking a man into pregnancy is then going to dump it on his doorstep and fuck off into the sunset.

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No but he could be expected to pay out thousands in child support over the next 20 years.

it’s morally wrong whichever party does it and anyone claiming otherwise is an apologist for appalling behaviour.

Kittyfur · 29/04/2025 15:55

I think it’s fine to have an “accident “ .

i completely understand women who go to any lengths to have a child

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 29/04/2025 15:38

Brocsacoille · 29/04/2025 14:16

With respect how?

I had a guy stealth me years ago, he wanted to come inside me without a condom. If I had ended up pregnant he had absolutely no intention of taking the baby and raising it. It would’ve totally upended my life, in a way that doesn’t happen in the reverse. No woman tricking a man into pregnancy is then going to dump it on his doorstep and fuck off into the sunset.

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Thank you for being more concise than me.

Sorry this happened to you.

Brocsacoille · 29/04/2025 14:16

TheHerboriste · 29/04/2025 14:07

What a complete crock of shit.

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With respect how?

I had a guy stealth me years ago, he wanted to come inside me without a condom. If I had ended up pregnant he had absolutely no intention of taking the baby and raising it. It would’ve totally upended my life, in a way that doesn’t happen in the reverse. No woman tricking a man into pregnancy is then going to dump it on his doorstep and fuck off into the sunset.

TheHerboriste · 29/04/2025 14:07

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 29/04/2025 12:54

OK, so a woman is going to deceive a man by saying she's on contraception when she isn't = they have sex without a condom consensually, although the man can't give full informed consent regarding birth control, he will be aware of the STD risks. The woman gets pregnant, it's completely immoral but the woman bears the child, births the child and is (statistically likely) to be the primary caregiver for the rest of the child's childhood. She is taking on all the risk.

But...

A man is going to deceive a woman by removing a condom, aka 'stealthing' = the woman believes that the man is wearing a condom and that she is protected from STDs, when she is not. The woman gets pregnant and now has to carry a child she was deceived into having in her body and birth it, with all the risks associated with that. Or she could have an abortion but only if she isn't ethically or religiously against this and also prepared to take the risks and pain of abortion. If she doesn't terminate the pregnancy, once she has birthed the child she will probably then feel biologically compelled to keep it and will love it. She will probably still be the primary caregiver for the child's entire childhood. She is still taking on all the risks but this time not by choice. I mean, imagine if a man did this on purpose and the woman got an STD and then died from pre-eclampsia or something, or had such a severe birth injury she was incontinent for life. Very different scenario.

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What a complete crock of shit.