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AIBU?

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Family court letter- absent father

27 replies

tiddles00 · 23/04/2025 18:57

After a crap day at work I come home to a letter from the family court, letting me know my child’s absent father is starting proceedings. No further info.

I’m upset and angry. I’ve done it all on my own for years. Our child was born from a short relationship and he made it clear from the beginning he didn’t want the baby, fair enough.

He was quite horrible about trying to scare and coerce me into an abortion, shouting at me. Had to call the police a few times. Then he did the whole “baby isn’t mine” thing so we had a paternity test. Awful time in my life.

When my child was born, I told him and he had an open invitation to see him but he just drifted in and out, his family also didn’t acknowledge the baby for almost a year.

When he wanted to contact I offered to build up to every other weekend, but he cancelled regularly, said he couldn’t do this that and the other because of work, holidays, social stuff.

In the end I got sick of him being a let down and I just stopped responding.

He’s not on the birth certificate (despite me offering many times years ago). I also offered mediation previously to see if we could come to an agreement.

AIBU to be upset and wish that he would just go away. My child is so happy and settled.

OP posts:
tiddles00 · 23/04/2025 19:11

sesquipedalian · 23/04/2025 19:06

What is it that he wants?

It doesn’t say.
From what he was saying previously, he just wanted to be able to him on a flexible basis when it suited him around work and other plans, be able to take him out of nursery at short notice because he had a day off but then not have him for his weekend as agreed.

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 23/04/2025 19:06

What is it that he wants?