Planned to fall pregnant age 15

You're welcome xx

We started ttc at 30 but fertility issues meant that we didn't have our first until I was 34. Second at 35, nearly 36, and 3rd at 40 following 2 m/cs.

I had been very ambitious but I compromised once our babies came along to make life work for them. Honestly trust me (and clearly you don't know me!) everything shifts when they put that little bundle into your arms. Best wishes x

Thank you - I really needed to hear this today ❤️

This is so true! Once you have a job and are contributing to society that should feel like enough. People from career driven backgrounds often feel like nothing they do will ever be good enough.

That is so sad. Hugs x

Your feelings definitely change when you have a baby. You won't care as much about your career any more, and you won't want to leave your child to go on as many nights out.

You really wouldn't have been a better mother as a teen! You will be in so much more secure a situation now, much more to offer a child. You won't be "selfish" either, because, hormones! Good luck with ttc.

A school friend was buying baby clothes at 14, it’s all she wanted was a baby

I think at least he knows so it’s not really anyone else’s business. It worked out fine for you guys. As Shakespeare said “younger than she are happy mothers made”…

Not the OP, but I posted my experience above. I’ve lived in three countries of the UK and travelled a bit.

I know a few teenage mums from my home town but most were 17 or 18. One was 16. I'm obviously being a bit naive but I'm shocked at how many here are saying they were sexually active at 15.

My school friend did too. She was always going to be a mum and without being rude, she had no other ambitions. It worked out well for her. She lived at home and had loads of support, eventually moved in and married the dad for 20 years and is now has a new boyfriend who takes her all over the world and is about to be a gran.

It would have been harder if she had gotten pregnant young but after moving out 🤷‍♀️

Having seen it firsthand, I'm shocked that so many boys/men are prepared to take a woman's word that they are using contraceptive properly and effectively and don't insist on condoms. Shows how immature some are.

Eta, my friend had a lovely homelife and has raised lovely kids.

I wanted a baby at 16. I don’t think it’s that uncommon. There’s a small part of me that wishes I had gotten pregnant in my late teens. By 21 it was too late for me and my gyny issues were too severe for me to have ever gotten pregnant. I ended up with cancer and a hysterectomy in my early 30s. I do wonder
if my urges as a teen was my body somehow knowing what was to come and that I only had a narrow window of time.
its too late now anyway.

I had a friend at that age who was trying to get pregnant but she picked guys who she didn't know to have sex with, because she didn't want them involved. Her mother (who was married to her father) had recently had a baby and I wondered if that was somehow related but I don't know for sure. She seemed pretty well obsessed with it, though.

She had her baby at fifteen or sixteen, lived with her parents for a while, then moved out and eventually got married (not to the baby's father, who I don't believe was ever told or even in touch with her again after a one-night stand).

I am sure she's not the only one because I knew a lot of girls who had babies as teenagers. And, as you say, it's likely to be kept quiet if it was deliberate. Even a teenager would know how poorly most people would think of it, is my guess. I was surprised this girl told everyone about her plans.

I also know a few girls who got married at that age when they weren't even pregnant but just wanted to. I don't think it necessarily is from a bad home life, though that could certainly be one reason.

Anyway, I don't think it means you were mentally ill. If you were, there would have been other, more definite signs of it. Sounds to me like you were just being a fifteen-year-old. That's an age where kids often want to be grown more than anything, but tend to have such little life experience that they still think they know it all!

Glad your life has worked out well. :)

Fascinating thread. A few girls from my school had babies and I always wondered how accidental they were. It seemed a fairly lonely life for them at the time, missing out on social events, prom etc.
I was desperate for a baby in an emotional way at 16, but the head over heart battle was easily won by head, and I was petrified of pregnancy. Obviously made sure my contraception was sorted, but that's not always watertight.
It passed and I was very glad it did because the boyfriend was a complete no hoper in the end.

Sad that people are saying how they were knowingly rolling the dice, taking chances having abortions etc when the pill has been available for 60 odd years and, condoms around even longer. Children who haven't heard of birth control shouldn't be having babies. All the chances, scares, abortion weren't neccesary.

I didn’t have my first child until I was 39, but plenty of my friends had babies as teens and most of them were planned to one degree or another. Most of those people are doing fine now and their kids are happy and well adjusted as far as I can tell. My great grandmother had her first at 15 and stayed with my great grandfather until she died in her late 90s, having five more kids over the years. They seemed happy and their children too. The fabulous Kay Mellor had her first at I think 16 and went on to be one of the most successful television writers of her generation. We are too judgemental about when women have children and ultimately although many 15 year olds are still very much children, some do obviously have the drive and maturity to have children and continue in successful lives. This isn’t to say I advocate teenage pregnancy but it’s also quite clear that it isn’t always the worst possible thing and there are some circumstances where it is the right thing and some ways in which it is preferable to later pregnancies like mine.

Literally nobody has suggested 12 year olds have babies on here??

Would you be happy to be a grandma at 30?

How would you feel if your child became a parent so young?

I do wonder if your parents helped more than you had with your second child?

I had my first at 34. We started ttc at 30. Had our youngest at 40. Didn't have family support other than moral/sometimes financial because our parents lived too far away. Bought our 4 bed detached home between DC1 and DC2, still live in it.

If I had had a choice, I'd have had my children younger but it didn't work out that way. I certainly never intended to have a baby at 40, but two miscarriages got in the way of our plans.

My elderly parent never needed any care and died suddenly. My not-elderly parent did need some support but died far too young. Both of them died when my eldest was just 9. I wish they had been in my children's lives for longer but life just is what it is.

I also got pregnant young, I was 16 but it was planned. I was lonely, bullied at school, had no friends and wanted someone to love unconditionally who loved me back. I didn’t want to stay with the dad and I was a single mum until my child was 13 then I married and had 3 more. I don’t regret a thing as I’ve still got no real friends and they are my whole life.

All I wanted at that age was a baby! We also met at 12 and married. No children yet and in our 30s! We often talk about how it was instilled into us that we wouldn’t last, childhood sweethearts “never last”. We shouldn't have children young because we had to go to uni, and having children would ruin our lives! We are now planning on having a baby and we are so scared 😂 Over two decades of negativity is really hard to drown out!

I have always maintained, I would have been a better mother at 15/16 than I ever would be now. I was so maternal, didn’t care about nights out. Now I’ve spent my entire life obsessing over a career for myself and I’m selfish.

12 would have been too young. I knew a couple who had a baby at 12 and they were very responsible about it, but 12 is definitely too young.

Tbh it sounds okay to me. In Scotland you can get married at 16 and have a job and a flat and a family, so you didn't jump the gun by much.

I think part of the problem is that the expectations of the education system are way out of kilter with the natural urges of the human race. I wanted to marry and have children at 18, but I didn't actually finish education until 25, didn't get a boyfriend until then and then got dumped at 27. Took me years to actually have a child and then only just in the nick of time at 35. DS is now 14 and I'm absolutely knackered and his grandparents are all in their 80s.

If you managed all that at 15 then I take my hat off to you. I bet you'll be an absolute superstar granny when you're in your 30s, if the moment comes. Good luck to you and well done.

Not necessarily re teenage parents getting on with things. The ones I’m acquainted with (who have had babies while still living at home with their own parents) have continued to act like children and expect the grandparents to run around picking up the pieces.

I remember feeling very broody at that age too. It’s a strong urge and at 15 you often don’t have the emotional maturity to realise it may not be for the best. I didn’t follow it up as my mother would have made my life hell and I had nowhere else to go, but I married young to someone totally unsuitable as I was desperate to have a child. It was my sole ambition at the time.

Ok, sorry, I hadn't realised you had posted earlier in the thread.

That must have been tough. TBH I suffered a bit too from having a mother who was really too immature to have a child. She beat the crapola out of me for years but didn't with the younger ones because she had figured out how to be a mum by then.

Hugs x