Planned to fall pregnant age 15

One of my friends is a retired primary teacher. He mentioned talking about aspirations/life goals/careers with his pupils, and one young girl said she was going to have a baby and get a flat "like me sister".

He was quite depressed at the lack of proper ambition but it wasn't an unexpected response given the family history. She probably fulfilled her goal though who knows.

I got pregnant just after my 17th birthday, I’d been ‘careless’ basically since I started having sex with my then boyfriend when we were 15. I knew I was rolling the dice and it was likely to happen sooner or later. My home life was awful and I think I saw it as a way out - have a family of my own, get a flat. Everyone at school seemed to be on a different trajectory with their nice families, encouraging parents and bright supported futures. I never told my then bf that I wasn’t on the pill and I guess he assumed I was. When I got the positive test he hit the roof and demanded I have an abortion, so I did. I didn’t expect that reaction from him. Plus the reality spooked me. We split not long after and I met someone else and had my first at 26 and second at 30. I still feel guilt over the abortion but know their life, or childhood at least, would not have been a happy one. I’m financially stable and I think a good mother, my kids are thriving and happy. It all makes me very sad to think about, both for the baby that never lived and for me and how vulnerable I was at that time. I got a text out the blue from ex bf when I was about 25 saying how guilty he felt and apologising for how he treated me. He said it weighs on his mind a lot as well.

Never said that out loud or written it down until now.

All we can do is move forwards

Back in the day (was a lot more common for 15year olds to get pregnant in the 90s) I recall so many girls who wanted babies, because they wanted someone who would love them. All very disturbed young women of course

My sister got pregnant at 16 and not by accident. Was a shock for everyone in the family at first of course. They are still together 20 years on.

It is very strange OP.

I wonder what was going through your head. Yes. Perhaps you were disturbed? Something someone told you? You heard on , read it? About being unable to get pregnant later on?

All my childhood I couldn’t wait to be a Mum and probably would have done the same if I wasn’t scared of my parents reaction. So glad I didn’t and I didn’t end up having a baby till I was 27.

Had my first child at 17, second (different fathers) at 29. Wish I could turn the clock back

I know a group of friends who all planned to (and succeeded) get pregnant at 16. The one who told me (probably 10 years later) couldn’t believe how naive they all were but they’re all still friends and regularly post days out with their similarly aged children. I bet a lot of their friends and family don’t realise it was on purpose - they lived close to one another, all with similarly shitty home lives if I’m honest.

Surely it's better that it was planned rather than a result of a fumble with a near stranger?

I wouldn't have wanted a pregnancy at that age, but I have never wanted one and I think it's too late now I'm in my 40s.
My auntie had her first son at 17. I think she felt pressured to marry the father who she wasn't in love with. This was way back in the day.

So you had a child with your partner who is now your husband, it was what you wanted and presumably your life and that of your child is happy? That is a good thing.

I hope you can fulfill your own adult ambitions now your child is a bit older, if you feel you didn't get to do some things that others did in that timeframe.

Teens can be selfish and immature.

I was always terrified of falling pregnant as a teen as I remember thinking how would I afford things? How would I finish school? My parents were not well off and could not have afforded another mouth to feed

I think this is more common than people believe, or would admit. I am fairly certain that three teen pregnancies I know of were 100% planned, although I don’t think two of the three would admit it. All three of the mothers I’m thinking of were bright, well-informed girls but all of them had difficult, even traumatic relationships with their own parents and didn’t feel very loved or cared for as teens. I think they were subconsciously trying to replace that with a little family unit of their own, with a baby that would love them as much as they loved the baby.

You were not "disturbed". You were naive and immature. But then show me a 15 year that isn't. Perhaps you parents fell short by not educating you about all your options, or instilling any common sense or ambition, or sense of reality, which left you at 15 thinking pregnancy was the most attractive option.

Glad you had a bit of luck and it worked out ok for you, it doesn't for so many.

Gosh, was your home life loving and supportive OP, or do you think you were seeking love? Were you besotted with your then BF?

Would you say you felt maternal from a young age. Or was it a need to be loved or have a family of you own. I wonder what your own upbringing was like?

I actually think this whole thing proves that 15 year olds are not mature enough to be having babies. Planning a baby at 15, when you and the father are still a few years off finishing education, living with parents and with no way of supporting yourself or a child is just the apex of immature thinking.

I'm glad it worked out for you OP but there must have been something very wrong to think this was in any way a good plan.

I married the boyfriend I had at 15, and had a few pregnancy scares before my first baby at 18. We lasted 35 years until I was widowed so I guess it would have all worked out ok if it had happened sooner. I don’t think I was disturbed, and I eventually got a good education.

Every one else I know who had a child so young fell pregnant accidentally.

Not sure why this came out in bold.

I am 70 years old and went on the pill at 16.

Down to the local family planning clinic with a friend. I will always be grateful for that time.

No-one gets pregnant "accidentally" where they have the knowledge and education to prevent it.

But many children are born of rape and incest. Sad but true.

It’s how men accidentally cheat. Tripped slipped landed

You are right about today’s teenagers they are not as mature and I actually think that is a good thing in some terms. Teen pregnancy does seem to of fallen a lot in fact most seem to be getting first boyfriends and girlfriends much later.

It sounds like you're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself, that's your tone.

You were a child and you made a decision that felt right at the time, and presumably you don't regret your child.

Forgive yourself and be proud of how far you've come.

I never really understood how people fall pregnant by accident. Do they just accidentally put a penis in their vagina?

I was desperate for a baby when I was 16/17. All I could think about was having a baby. I was also really worried that I might have fertility problems so didn’t want to wait. All I wanted to do was plan a baby with my boyfriend at the time.

My feelings subsided a little bit for a couple of years, until I met my ex when I was 20. DS1 was born a year later.

I’m glad it worked out for you OP.
there are some posts which do sound a bit judgy.
being academic and having a baby young are not mutually exclusive.