Planned to fall pregnant age 15

I absolutely wanted to do this. I really liked babies but I also, I think, wanted out of my life as it was. I got pregnant at 15 but I miscarried.

I'm grateful to have had many wonderful childfree experiences: having a baby would have trapped me in a life rather than get me out like I thought it would. I'd have parented an infant ok, I just wouldn't have had the maturity to parent a child any older, once they get complex. So I'm glad I haven't messed up a child's life in that way. I do still think about that baby though. "He"'d be 22 now, which is crazy to imagine while I sit here breastfeeding my youngest.

Good on you for making a good fist of it, OP.

I was 17 when I had my first they are 40 this year ,went on and had two more still with my husband now .We have four grandchildren now.We both worked our socks off over the years so we could buy our own house and give the kids a good upbringing and I think we done ok.

It sounds like it’s worked out for you all. Well done 🙂. It can’t have been easy.

15 is obvs pretty young to be having sex, let alone getting pregnant. But I guess some people will always be young parents out of choice, because they feel so sure about themselves, their partner and having a child.

A childhood friend of mine had a baby at 18. Obviously, a bit older than you were and at least an adult. But still everyone was shocked at the time. They’re still together now and just as in love as they were then.

While I don’t think it’s preferable, a huge advantage of being such a young parent is it forces you to work hard and focus on having a home and being financially stable. By the time your child’s 20 and off your hands, you’re still only 35 (the age many people start having babies). Plus, you may be well into paying off a mortgage, when lots of peers are only just starting to buy.

If your health and fitness are good, you can party on down in your 40s and 50s when contemporaries are juggling primary kids, work, childcare fees and teenagers.

Good luck to you. I hope you get to really enjoy yourself once the kids are adults 💐

I had mine at 16 and I can’t imagine wanting it deliberately, but to be honest I was never the maternal type and didn’t even have any younger siblings.

I know someone who had a second baby on purpose though - first one at 14, second at 21.

Did he get a job?

I was desperate to be a mum at 15. Not necessarily at actual 15 - but I wanted children in my early 20s.
Like the OP it wasn't "for a council house" or anything (I knew of council housing but wasn't aware that having a baby could get you one).
I had a vague idea of having a husband who would "look after me" and any babies.
The reason I didn't have a baby then was because I wasn't interested in sex - in fact I was still at the "eww gross" stage. To be honest I never really became very sexual. I'm possibly asexual.
I did get a husband who does look after me (awww) but I only got the one baby when I was 33.
Having children just felt like a purpose and reason for life. I never wanted a career (I know not everyone thinks like that)
There were 4 girls in my school year that had babies right after their GCSEs. A few others had babies in the few years after (so ages 17-19).
I felt jealous they were "getting on with life". I felt so childish still being at college.
I get sad about only having one child.
Okaaaaay..... that's all a bit deep 🙂

A lot of girls I went to school with had babies straight after leaving school and I lived in an area where girls did get pregnant just to get benefits and a council house. You are far from being the only teen to purposely get pregnant

If I'd had the opportunity I would absolutely have got pregnant at 15! I was so broody it hurt! I would watch the episodes of the 'Friends' having their babies on repeat, go and finger the sleepsuits in Mothercare, spend hours Googling birth stories etc. It must have been a hormones thing. I was a mess to be honest. Things died down and I was over it in a year or 2. It wasn't a 'want' though, it was a 'NEED', so I can totally see where you're coming from.

You might think other teen mums got pregnant by accident but i think many others are probably also keeping a secret.

How did you find it?

As my Great Aunt said when her daughter got pregnant in the 70’s, there are worse things in life than a baby.

It can however be a tough road to navigate.

I would say a lot of teenage pregnancies are planned. For my dsis's friends it was a trend. One after the other they 'fell ' pregnant. A year or two down the line most are no longer with the fathers. I'm so happy it all worked out for you OP 💓

I think they're mostly planned TBH. I used to be a teacher, there was one girl - her parents didn't want her, so she lived with her Gran, who died. She became homeless then, so her boyfriend's parents took her in. She was so broody in those months after her Gran died - I wasn't surprised at all when she later told me she was pregnant. There are definitely lots of girls who get very, very broody. 2 girls in my 6th form got pregnant and they were also definitely planned.

I actually don't think it's the worst thing in the world if there's good support around. I've always thought that's what probably happened in cave man times (when a lot of people died young ) - the 15 year olds have the babies, but the whole village brings the kids up. I'm a bog standard middle class professional, so had mine in my 30s, but I wish I'd had them in my 20s (but not a teen!), because, as a PP said, I'm going to have less time to spend with them now.

Exactly. I had my eldest at 16, went on to get a degree now a higher tax rate payer. There are definitely worse things that can happen, all my 3 children are very successful / academic. People make big assumptions about teen mothers, and most of them are wrong.

You are lucky it all worked out and you are still with your partner, it could have been a very different story

Did ye get much help from both (you and partner) sets of parents in terms of childcare and finances?

I think it’s more common than you think but most like you pretend it’s accidental. I went to a girls school and some were always having scares. Some teen girls like drama and attention. X thinks she’s pg would get dragged out for days - going to chemist for a test with a little gang, gathering in cloakroom - oh I’m so scared to take it, discussing baby names. 15 mins of fame. Girls who brought their babies in having a fuss made of them.

Oh & I was hopelessly in love with my 15yo boyfriend and thought he was forever!

Nasty. Had you actually bothered to read the OP's posts, you'd have seen that they're still together. I will not link to it ... not my job to do that.

What on earth are you banging on about. Try reading it again and try not to be a twat.

I wanted a baby with my boyfriend at 15 too, thankfully I didn’t conceive one because I think I would have been a terrible mum at that age, I was so immature really and had no idea of the reality of being a mum. My family were definitely not ambitious, very working class where a man with a van and a trade was seen as the optimum life partner 😂 I don’t think it’s all that unusual tbh, certainly not in working class families. If you think you’ll never earn enough to buy a house or be smart enough to have a career…

Doesn’t sound like she gives a shit never mind wants forgiveness.
Let’s hope the husband never finds out

Economically there is an advantage to having a child when you’re older, but I think you’re right to note you’ll be around for longer. I was an older mum with an established business and career, but do know that I could be nearly 80 before being a grandparent if my DD makes the same choices.

You were both so young OP. Forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness to the baby and try to make peace with it.

Disturbing but I also wanted a baby at 16 so you aren’t alone

Meh. I know loads of teen mums.......I was one myself. We've all gone on to live fairly normal, boring lives and careers.

There's never an ideal time to have a child, they're a huge disruption whatever age you are and whilst I wouldn't encourage (( my dc won't ever have children because of disability)) I can think of worse things to happen.

My dd wasn't planned either but I don't regret having her young. The way I see it is I get those extra years to love them and in my situation I'm going to have to be around as long as I can be. I'd be stressing a lot more if I'd had them late 30s or 40s put it that way !!