to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

The tip…! 😂 Your dad sounds a right character!

Your grandad’s service sounds lovely, was it non-religious? I don’t think a send off needs to be religious at all, just dignified, warm and of comfort to the living which it sounds like it was.

What is a true church? Pagan I presume.

I have seen (briefly) the corpses of both my parents as well as some deeply beloved companion animals.

I realised that at the point of death the thing that animates them, makes them human, or dog, or cat has gone. What is left is the outer shell.

Now I understand other cultures venerate the dead body in all sorts of ways. But to me reading about those people taking selfies with thé Pope
seemed entirely disrespectful. Why? But nothing to be done I suppose.

Sorry for your loss.

What you’ve described makes sense. I suppose if I had to organise a funeral out of the blue in England I wouldn’t know where to begin, and the last thing you need when you’re grieving is stress.

I think I just saw things differently because I’m from a culture where everyone pretty much has the same type of wake, funeral, mass and burial. There aren’t many decisions to be made.

I actually think the height of disrespect for a dead body is to shove it in a furnace and burn it.

For Catholics and the Orthodox Churches (i.e. the true church and not some pale imitation), cremation is a sin as it is the desecration of the body.

Some people express the wish to have a direct cremation. My dad is one. He does not want a funeral. He said to drop him of at the tip 😂

My grandad had a service at a place that lets you use it all day, but at the time they did not do cremations (only burials). So he brought to his funeral, then was taken away again, and his ashes came back a few weeks later.
The place his funeral was at was beautiful. No rush... we had all day there. The wake bit was in a different building but throughout the day, we could nip in the chapel for a private moment with him.

Yes, they used to dress them and prop them up with the family for a family photo!

"Long exposures when taking photographs meant that the dead were often seen more sharply than the slightly-blurred living, because of their lack of movement."

Trigger warning: Family photos including the deceased are in the article below.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-36389581

Well, we are all different. My husband died suddenly, and it was three weeks between his death and the funeral. For me, and we are all different, that was just the right amount of time to process his sudden death and organise a funeral and wake that was a fitting tribute. It also meant that friends and family from around the world could attend. Doing it quicker would have seemed rushed and unbefitting to me. And far less respectful. Each to their own.

You don’t ‘have to’ keep your loved one in a morgue. There no law on this. You can keep them at home if you want.

Viewing bodies isn’t the issue.

I’m thinking more along of the lines of how in England you have to keep your loved one in a freezer in a morgue for weeks, sometimes months, before the funeral can take place. I think this is a disrespectful system for both the bereaved people and for the bodily remains of the deceased.

And don’t get me started on direct cremations…! Shivers

Yes, they used to dress them and prop them up with the family for a family photo!

"Long exposures when taking photographs meant that the dead were often seen more sharply than the slightly-blurred living, because of their lack of movement."

Trigger warning: Family photos including the deceased are in the article below.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-36389581

Viewing bodies isn’t the issue.

I’m thinking more along of the lines of how in England you have to keep your loved one in a freezer in a morgue for weeks, sometimes months, before the funeral can take place. I think this is a disrespectful system for both the bereaved people and for the bodily remains of the deceased.

And don’t get me started on direct cremations…! Shivers

Viewing bodies isn’t the issue.

I’m thinking more along of the lines of how in England you have to keep your loved one in a freezer in a morgue for weeks, sometimes months, before the funeral can take place. I think this is a disrespectful system for both the bereaved people and for the bodily remains of the deceased.

And don’t get me started on direct cremations…! Shivers

It is a cultural thing, and I am sure people would be stopped if it was not allowed.

Remember, back in Victorian times, taking photos of the dead was the norm.

That seems like an unnecessarily unpleasant remark as well, though I don’t agree with the pp choice of words either.

Just because the English have a different approach to death and the dead doesn’t mean it’s disrespectful. My husband died at home, and the ambulance crew were kind enough to put him to bed, where he stayed for a couple of hours until the undertaker arrived. I was with him for that time, but after he’d left the house I felt no need to see his body again. It wasn’t him - he was the words, the mannerisms, the actions, the behaviours and the memories. I still have those.

I asked his parents if they wanted to view him, and they had no desire either. His mother is CofE and his father Catholic. Their view was mine - the body is not the person, just the last physical remains of a life. It’s the view of many people. What we would see as performative grief doesn’t help us, so we don’t do it. If it works for others, that’s great. But it’s unwarranted to say that it is disrespectful.

Agree and would add that what is disrespectful is how the English, by and large, treat their dead.

My family are Irish country catholic.

Up to a number of years ago the most common way a funeral was dealt with was to have a wake at a funeral home the night before. All the family and relatives stood around ready to greet people. The coffin was either open or closed but mostly open. After shaking hands with the family, a lot of people would go and look at the body and perhaps say a prayer. You'd see others completely avoid the body as it's not for everyone. Then the body was brought to the local church, prayers were said and the coffin remained overnight. Mass then the following day and burial afterwards.

Now, it's very common to have the undertaker bring the body home where they are laid out in a room. This could go on for a number of days. Mourners call, tea, cakes and sandwiches are always on the go. It was often the case that the corpse was never left alone, someone stayed up with them or rotated it. Then eventually the funeral went to the church for mass on the day of the burial/cremation.

It's definitely less and less that the corpse stays alone in the church the night before burial/cremation.

Cremation has got very popular also. There's also been a surge in younger people completely bypassing the church. Being waked at home and straight for cremation.

The only thing disrespectful here is your comment.

It’s interesting how others see these images
Ive never regarded the image of the Sacred heart as bloody or ‘opening up his chest to reveal his heart’….In reality it represents the image of Gods Love.

The stations of the cross are about the journey to crucifixion, resurrection and the saving of souls. So again I’ve always seen those as his path to salvation.

It’s interesting how they are viewed by others though

Its an absolutely nightmare trying to move the furniture round to fit a coffin in though

In the living room?!?! That’s creepy as f! Omg. How awful. You’re right that is incredibly disrespectful. I’d be opting out of that…..

I do wish this was more normal in England rather than shutting the dead away and having it all taboo and hidden and clinical.