Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

In fairness to OP, I am no way a snob, or choosy in any way, and myself and my family have been buying the toys 2 for £20 toys from the bargain stores for my DD (stocking fillers for xmas, and she got some for her birthday), but the quality of the toys is the worst I've EVER come across, games have pieces missing so can't be used, or they don't assemble because of how poor the manufacturing standards are, or they do assemble but then don't stand up to being played with in any way (even grown ups carefully testing them), or they break within seconds, they are honestly just not fit for purpose and should not be on sale, out of the 6 things she's had since last year nothing lasted a week, yet she's had toys for years that are still as good today as when they were new!

I would have a respectful word with your in laws and explain how bad the quality of the games are from those places and you feel they are wasting their money as they are ending up being thrown away, but give them some pointers as to what they can get of a monetary value that wouldn't be utter shit.

however YABVVVVU to think 'own brand' chocolate is inferior to cadburys.. I wouldn't expect anyone to fork out for cadbury prices, and Aldi and Lidl chocolate is amazing!

Jesus this is sad. I sometimes for 2 for 20 for mynephews. Theyre growing, their inrerests change, theyre boys so everything is wrecked and lost eventually. Their parents dont care for things or value anything. I bet i get slagged off behind my back too

Or you could be even more direct and say, "The plastic toys always break. We'd really prefer books instead."

Somewhere on MN there will no doubt be posts complaining about receiving money or clothes that are not to their taste. "It's so impersonal just to give money, no thought involved whatsoever." "Why does my friend/family member insist on giving my children clothes? We don't care for her style and the clothes always end up being donated to a charity shop."

With each post, you sound more and more unreasonable. Just be gracious, say thank you, and accept the gifts. Even if the toys aren't wooden and the chocolate isn't Cadbury. 🙄

BTW I thought everyone on MN hated Cadbury chocolate these days. Did you miss the memo? 😅

Yep. Raising another set of entitled arseholes.

'Cheap' chocolate is often better than branded stuff, it's clear your kids aren't eating it because you're telling them it's crap.

To the other commenter who said her kids grew up feeling unloved because of cheap presents, catch a fucking grip, they've only felt that way because you've led them to equate presents with love.

@nottheplan What would your MIL do if you asked for specific things for the children?

"James' favourite chocolate is Cadbury's flake, would you mind buying him a flake Easter egg?"

"Oh MIL, in case you're looking for ideas for Ava's birthday, we have created an Amazon wish list. All the things she really wants are on it. Would you mind choosing something off that?"

My mil used to do this. Drove me mad. But she got a lot of pleasure buying the kids little bits so I bit my tongue, said thank you, and disposed of later.

we found out years later she was being financially abused and bought cheap shit because that’s all she could afford with the “budget” she was given.

So while it seemed an enormous waste of money at the time I’m happy she got some joy out of spending.

It sounds like they don't play with the toys or eat the chocolate anyway though!!

You sound like a massive snob. There's nothing wrong with the quality if own brand chocolate, nor b&m 2 for £20 toys. We've had plenty that have lasted being played with roughly for years.

Apologies didn’t realise as you tagged CurlewKate 👍

I can't believe anyone would prefer cadbury's chocolate, which is horrible these days. Maybe train your children to have better palates, OP

OP it’s definitely not unreasonable if the things are going to waste. My DD only likes a very few kinds of chocolate (she just doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth and doesn’t like eg. white chocolate or sweets), so if relatives bought her random eggs they’d just go to waste!

What I have found works is to say to relatives, now that the kids are getting a bit older, we want to tone down how much they’re getting at Easter (because: they get too many/consumerism/waste/plastic/they’re eating too many sweet things/not the Easter message, take your pick of reasons), and can we agree to just give them a Lindt bunny/one small egg each?

Or you can say the DC have gone very ecological and have signed an eco-pledge at school not to eat palm oil or buy plastic toys (which my DD’s primary school actually did!) so can they just have a Lindt bunny/M&S small egg each this year? Or whatever chocolate they actually like that is decent. Surely the ILs can run to a bunny or a mini Buttons egg each and that would be cheaper than a toy as well.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable or snobby not to want to eat cheap chocolate - so much of it is just non-milk fats and palm oil now anyway that it’s really unpleasant and bad for you. If your ILs just bought them cheap gummy sweets or Haribo MN posters would be horrified. Cheap palm oil choc is no different.

Yes I did know it was sarcasm, what made you think I didn't? My comment was to op if that wasn't clear

Indeed. And Tesco own brand chocolate (in my opinion) tastes much better than Cadburys.

I am not a chocolate "user" but Saturday Kitchen has some really good suggestions.

I don't think it's even snobbery, who thinks Cadbury/Nestlé are high quality?!

You can't really say anything without looking bad. I suppose you could say," sorry they won't eat these bunnies, they end up wasted in the bin. They'll only eat a pack of cadburys buttons! You have it." That way they know it's money wasted.

JFC you mean to tell me that every single toy in B & M breaks within hours….. not true. You are being a snob.

There is no way that a young child knows that gifts are poor quality unless their parents tell them so, directly or indirectly. And most young kids like being given gifts. Being given an inferior brand of chocolate does not make children feel unloved unless their parents have told them to feel like that.

I am not a fan of endless junk ruining the planet. But it is important to be gracious when accepting gifts if they are given with good intent. Snobbery is really unattractive.

Yes god forbid the MIL can’t find her way to the organic cotton section!! I do get it, I’m a crunchy hard work wooden toys parent too, but you have to let the small stuff go. In fact, most of the overpriced wooden toys left in mint condition when mine were done ignoring them…

I bet you keep your Cadburys in the fridge

I assume that OP means that her MIL asks for specific gifts, such as restaurant or hotel vouchers that are expensive while buying cheap crap for her grandchildren.