Cheap chocolate and presents from MIL

You need to look at your attitude op. Labelling normal products that lots of people purchase and people are quite happy with as 'rotten' and 'rubbish' isn't nice. Your mil is trying to do a nice thing and maybe doesn't know exactly what brand of chocolate your child will or will not like. Likewise the toys she may have thought it was something they'd like. It's nasty you having this opinion of her.

@nottheplanWhat does your dh think ?
it’s his mother who is buying the stuff.

I'm not buying the same but I still felt you were unreasonable. As many of us have said, Lidl/Aldi chocolate is actually decent. The poshest foodies I know buy Lidl/Aldi chocolate and dislike Cadburys. Ok, if your kids don't like it but you describing it as "rotten" is ridiculous. Many of us think it's better than Cadburys!
As for the toys, it's equally likely that they'd get bored of an expensive present within 5 minutes too (happened to us many times).
It's your attitude people disliked. Your in-laws are being kind and you came across as snobbish and ungrateful. There are plenty of gentle ways to deal with the situation such as suggesting a book your children may like or suggesting money towards a bigger present or suggesting gift ideas. This is what we do. If we get stuff they don't like, it goes to charity.
You say you give clothes or money. In my experience this isn't appreciated by younger kids. I actually had one kid cry when I bought him clothes! He said "Clothes aren't a present!". I wouldn't dare buy my teenagers clothes as only they know what's cool.

Or maybe have some gratitude and humility that people care enough to buy your family gifts, even if they do not always get it exactly right.

Ahhh… I was starting to feel a bit sorry for you OP with the amount of negative responses, and then you post this. 🤦‍♀️😂

Just make an Amazon wish list for your kids and send it to your MIL, OP.

Tell us you're a family of snobs without telling us you're a family of snobs.

@Whattodo1610”Absolutely nowhere in my post did I say were ungrateful, nor did we attribute value to the price of a gift and equate that with love”

I’m afraid you did. Maybe you should reread your posts and consider how they come across.

You can’t even do snobbery right…buying cadburys instead of Lindt.

Cadburys is the Lidl version of branded chocolate, so why not just get Lidl’s if you don’t care about getting the good stuff?

Sounded more like they’d taken the phrase “It’s the thought that counts” to heart and so when their grandparents’ thought resulted in gifts that were thoughtless, they drew the logical conclusion that their grandparents didn’t really care but were just going through the motions.

I think we can make too much of that phrase and forget it’s mainly supposed to help people get over a gift where the giver got it wrong. But it gets trotted out all the time when it’s evident there was no thought. What we may need more of is acknowledging that gift giving is not a symbol of love for a lot of people, but just something they do because it’s expected. Their love is expressed in other ways. (Though for some families there really is just not much love).

Quite honestly, you painted yourself in a worse light than you say I’ve painted myself in. Absolutely nowhere in my post did I say we were ungrateful, nor did we attribute value to the price of a gift and equate that with love. There is no effort in buying a gift that you know the recipient does not like. Stop twisting my words and putting your own feelings to them. I don’t need to reflect on how I say anything. I’ve said exactly what I mean - the fact that you choose to put your own thoughts and feelings into my family is your problem, not mine.

If there’s more context that’s fine, and I’m glad because because you didn’t paint yourself in a good light - you specifically said that when the kids realised the presents were ‘cheap shite’ it made them feel unloved. Which makes you all sound ungrateful and mean. So instead of getting defensive maybe reflect on what you’ve said and how it comes across. People aren’t mind readers we can only go on what you’ve said

Nice assumptions you’re making there 🤨 There is no need for me to explain full family dynamics to anyone here. Suffice to say there’s a lot more background than giving chocolate to kids, that they don’t like and won’t eat.

Yet another poster making up their own agenda and theories 🤨 Did you even read my post? The part where I said I accepted it graciously? You have no clue about our family dynamics so absolutely pointless making up your own assumptions about us. It says more about you than it does me.

I’m not sure why you feel the need to make up your own theory here?

Tbh £20 is not so little to spend on childrens toy!
They get bored easily.
Maybe if you stop posting about shit presentsand start playing with your own litter they would not break stuff out of boredom 🤷🏼‍♀️

I just don’t buy the “all kids eat any chocolate”
stuff. Try them with some American candy! My boss is American and has a big party for families every year and gets loads of US chocolate like Hersheys and Reece’s sent over to give out to the children. The kids all hate it and politely accept a few bits which get thrown away afterwards. He ends up with tons of it left every year because it’s so grim.

I feel your pain! We had the same issue. We had that buying more stuff was important to the people buying so they spent lots of money on lots of little things. I don't really want to be swamped in stuff! I think saying something is a mistake. I do think you can make a suggestion of gifts, stressing there's no obligation. I tried to change my attitude too. I tried to see that it was a pouring out of their love for our children. Excess chocolate of any brand has been known to be turned into cake of some sort. You aren't obliged to keep everything but try not to be dismissive of it.

Yes perhaps children will have preferences for certain chocolate but, it's just seems a coincidence that the op and all of her children don't like Lidl chocolate...

There is a particularly nasty toxicity about this thread on so many levels OP. You've avoided giving your DH's views on the matter when asked. You are coming across as completely insensitive to the feelings of others, shallow, and vacuous.

It's noticeable how it's always your IL's who "get it wrong" according to your own self-appointed standards, never your parents. As a mother and a wife, barring situations such as abuse, it is your duty and responsibility to build and support your children's relationships with their wider family, not disrupt them with your own prejudices, unkindness and snobbery. As their mother you have a responsibility to raise your children to be kind, respectful and appreciative to the kindness of others, not to be petty, nasty or shut out their caring relatives because they do not fit in with your exacting "standards".

You need to stop being a Princess and start modelling basic thoughtful behaviour and decency for your children.

Exactly this! People on here acting like everything tastes the same or that children can't possibly have different taste preferences, it's ridiculous.

Fair enough but it’s very unusual, most kids eat chocolate no matter how cheap. So it was a safe bet to assume their grandkids were the same