When I read the Bible I find God's demonstration of love for the people He created out of love. Why say He is sadistic? Does the New Testament describe methods of torture that He deliberately inflicts on us?
He promises believers that He will look after their needs and Christians are often amazed by things He does for them. Of course there are challenges and hardships, but He either provides a solution or helps us through them.
I don't understand your point about MLM. If you mean Mormons, who are big on MLM, let me say that Mormons are not Christians. Mormonism is a fake Christian cult.
I'm sorry you're constantly having to deal with very difficult things. Let me make a suggestion. Ask for prayer in one or more of these ways -
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visit a Bible-believing church and tell them whatever you feel like sharing. If they don't welcome you, try another.
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go online and look for prayer lines (by phone) and prayer walls. Lots of Christians are willing to pray for you, without making judgemental comments
If you don't believe God is real, let Him show you He cares. If He isn't real, nothing will happen anyway so no harm done!