Hand flapping

From experience, I would not wait for school to initiate a conversation. I found out that the school had considered my son autistic for years when a teacher inadvertently referred in a y10 parents’ evening to his ‘choosing to sit and hide at the back and reluctance to participate being fairly normal for an autistic boy of his age’. I had to then book to speak to the HT and ask what was going on - they apologised, appreciated he had never been diagnosed, and said ‘it never seemed the right time to raise their concerns and I didn’t ask’. Actually I asked multiple times from y5 and was batted back every time right up until lockdown, when I stopped asking. He has an older sister who was diagnosed so there was no issue with us being receptive…

I genuinely think that if you feel concerned YOU have to sit with them and discuss it and request a full assessment.

And it really isn’t the end of the world if it turns out that your child may be on the spectrum or be found to have any other SEN need. Both mine are ASD with ADHD. A* students, musically/artistically gifted, off to Russell Group Unis. Needed significant support with friendships/social interaction and both suffer chronically from acute anxiety, which I would have sorted had I known sooner, but with support/counselling they have acquired a tool box of skills. Medication for ADHD has also been a revelation. I worry, of course, as do all my friends about their children for a host of different reasons, but in this case you may actually be worrying about nothing - so I’d speak to the school and explore an assessment in case intervention is required.

Yes, I mentioned it to them when he started reception. His teacher (who was also the SENco) rang me about half way though the year to say they wanted to get someone (I think from the LA?) to observe him with our consent. They were looking to see if he had sensory processing issues I think, and had ruled out ASD. We filled out a form and they did the observation, and she came back to me saying that he didn't fit the criteria for sensory processing, it just seemed to be something he did when excited. We said we may revisit it in juniors if he started to have issues with people making fun of him - she was suggesting giving him something to squeeze instead etc - but it's kind of tapered off at school naturally and he never had any issues. I just ask his teachers at parents evening if he's having any issues too.

Very recently really. I'd say this school year, so year 4/aged 9, but I think it had been reducing slightly for a while.

That's so interesting! Yes, no distress here either. I think he actually enjoys doing it, particularly when imagining.

MH Social worker (retired). Also on the autistic spectrum.

No problem OP. Yes, he can be easily distracted. If you say his name, he'll stop. He does them when excited or imagining something - currently this may be waiting to take a penalty in football, waiting to jump in at swimming, thinking about an activity that's about to start, looking at a picture he's just drawn, a scene he's creating with his toys, after playing a computer game etc. It's not very frequent now, maybe a few times a day, but I could go a day without noticing. He's also changed in public, so more of a jump on the spot, rather than running up and down flapping his hands.

When he was younger he would do it very frequently throughout the day.

I'm not sure how it differs from stimming, or if it's the same. I know it's different from a tic though as I believe that's more involuntary.

No, I don't. My husband doesn't/didn't either.

Thats not what genetics means in terms of ND. The current working theory is that ND is genetic, but that doesnt mean inherited.

It means its part of your genetic make up, which are you more likely to share with your parents/children but not always.

Yes, that's right - I think my 9 year old son has the primary form too. I believe secondary is where the flapping is linked to ASD or ADHD.

Thank you for posting. I aiways find it reassuring to hear of other older children and adults with motor stereotypies. I'm really glad it's never been an issue for you, and your son is doing well.

My son did this as a young child and he also did other motor movements like stretching his mouth and wiggling his body and legs. I discovered from my own research that it was 'primary motor stereotypies' (look it up!) He is 13 now and still does it a bit, but much much less than he used to.

I also hand flap and hand clap (usually when im excited) and I'm 46! (I also ashamedly suck my thumb occasionally which noone in real life knows). Thumb sucking and hand clapping are also motor stereotypies so my son has likely got his traits from me

Neither of us are autistic. Just what I.like to call 'motor'! Sport helped my son. Most of his movements were related to excitement or occasionally intense concentration, daydreaming or tiredness. As I say, he still does it a bit now, but much less.

It doesn't sound like there are any major concerns currently, but just keep the ND possibility in the back of your mind. Girls will often sail through school as model students before suddenly crashing when the demands of increasingly complex social relationships become too challenging for them to maintain in the way they've navigated up to that point.

There may well also be things that you don't see or notice because they just "are". My son (v different presentation in boys and girls usually) was diagnosed at 2, it was and still is now, very obvious that he's autistic. When we were going through the process we still had to really dig down to identify the adaptations and things that we had just naturally developed as our norm.

You're welcome OP. It does sound very similar to my son - he also used to run up and down, but I don't see that anymore. The Facebook groups are called 'Motor Stereotypy' and 'Motor Stereotypy Group UK'. I've mostly been reassured, by looking at these groups and my own research, that Complex Motor Stereotypies tend to reduce with age and that children tend to privitise them as they get older. That certainly is starting to be the case with my son.

Not particularly, he has delayed speech to begin with, and he would stimm with his hands, that was the biggest marker for him. He was diagnosed early because I pushed for him, to be seen before he started school. as he has gotten older struggles more with the anxiety and low self esteem as he's more aware he's different. But he's got a good set of friends and good support put into place at school that helps.