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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is getting dgms' rings resized to fit me disrespectful?

35 replies

RunLikeTheWild · 23/04/2025 14:18

I have my dgm's engagement ring and a pretty ring from DH's dgm (both dgms are dead and the rings given to me by my dm and mil).

I would love to be able to wear the rings but they will need sizing up to fit me.

Part of me feels like I shouldn't resize them as it's altering them and they won't be purely my grandmother's ring or DH's nanna's ring anymore.

But then I think i would love to wear them as both as a tribute to two beloved women and as beautiful rings.

I especially want to wear my dgm's engagement ring as I remember it as a representation of her from when I was little.

When my dd gets them she will need to get them resized again (smaller).

Is it disrespectful to get them resized now to fit me?

Yes it's disrespectful, YABU to alter the rings
No it's fine, YANBU to alter the rings

OP posts:
Original poster
RunLikeTheWild · 23/04/2025 14:27

Thank you.I feel so emotional now, yes of course you are all right, it is better than the rings sitting in a drawer getting forgotten about. It's so obvious but I was fixated on compromising the rings somehow!

OP posts:
Pandimoanymum · 23/04/2025 14:27

Of course t's not disrespectful, it's lovely and very appropriate that you want to wear them. Much better than them lying in a box unappreciated for years. I'd be delighted if my grandaughter or grandaughter-in-law wanted to wear my jewellery, it's a tribute to them and a way of remembering them.

GardenGaff · 23/04/2025 14:25

I think it would be more disrespectful to leave them in a drawer, hidden away and unworn.

Totot · 23/04/2025 14:25

If they’re that old they’ve probably had a new shank put in at some point over the years (my mum has and she’s not even 70 yet). So, I don’t think it’s any different to you extending them.

littlemissprosseco · 23/04/2025 14:22

They’ll look much lovelier on your hand than in a box
Theyll still be the same ring

rubyslippers · 23/04/2025 14:22

Wear them and get them resized
Leaving them sitting in a drawer is no good

sesquipedalian · 23/04/2025 14:22

“I think i would love to wear them as both as a tribute to two beloved women and as beautiful rings.”

OP, that’s a lovely sentiment, and I’m sure is what your grandmothers would have wanted. Get them resized and wear them with joy!

Speckson · 23/04/2025 14:22

It's the best thing you could do. I am sure neither grandmother would want their cherished rings to end up forgotten in a drawer.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/04/2025 14:21

Of course it’s not disrespectful!! It’s the opposite.

Ineffable23 · 23/04/2025 14:20

Totally reasonable and actually I think more respectful because if they're anything like my grandmothers they would want their rings to be worn, because beautiful things are there to be enjoyed.