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My friend has been talking about me

39 replies

GoldenOrangee · 23/04/2025 13:59

Hello,

One of my friends has been talking about me behind my back.

Short of it is - her and my cousin ended up at the same event on the weekend. Friend for no reason it would seem said some quite spiteful things about me. Took the mick out of my tattoos and the way I looked, lied and said I did some nasty things towards her when we were younger that not true and proceeded to make random diggy comments throughout the night. My cousin was rather taken aback at how out there she was being considering that's my relative that I have a good relationship with.

Cousin told me as in a 'you need to be careful who you are hanging around with' way.

I don't really know how to handle it - this friend messaged me the following day asking if I was free to meet for a catch up this week.

Part of me thinks I should just ignore and cease contact but the other part of me would rather be honest and say I know what she has been saying about me behind my back and that is why I no longer wish to be in contact.

WWYD?

OP posts:
JustSawJohnny · 23/04/2025 14:35

GoldenOrangee · 23/04/2025 14:05

Yes, I trust my cousin completely.

The only problem I have with this friend is she is incredibly persistent and will message and message.

Everything hangs on whether you're happy to disclose that your cousin told you everything.

If you are then tell her friends don't make things up about you, mock your appearance and generally slag you off to your family members then block her and move on.

If not, skip to the blocking and moving on part.

The only route to really avoid is making up a bullshit reason. Right now you are 100% not at fault. Best to keep it that way.

She sounds awful. If she's prepared to speak about you like that to your family members, I cannot imagine what she says to strangers!

Let her go, OP.

Dodeedoo · 23/04/2025 14:35

DenholmElliot11 · 23/04/2025 14:14

also this

why the need to add in that you were 8 at the time? What are you trying to suggest?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 23/04/2025 14:33

I think you’d be justified in dropping her without an explanation. She sounds absolutely horrible. She may chase you and be persistent and wonder why you’re ignoring her, but you can just let her carry on with that, you don’t have to communicate with her at all if you don’t want to. You don’t owe her anything after the way she’s behaved.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 23/04/2025 14:29

GoldenOrangee · 23/04/2025 14:05

Yes, I trust my cousin completely.

The only problem I have with this friend is she is incredibly persistent and will message and message.

Well.....she won't if you block her

I'd tell her what I think of her and THEN block her

GroupDiscountOnTheBusToHell · 23/04/2025 14:20

I’d meet.
Then, when we were face to face, I’d tell her I know exactly what she said about me and watch her squirm.
I’d stay silent whilst she went through every excuse, then calmly tell her to never contact me again and get up and leave.

ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 14:19

Was the weekend event your cousin's ninth birthday party or something?

DenholmElliot11 · 23/04/2025 14:14

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/04/2025 14:11

I had a similar thing happen to me. I can't remember what I did about it because I was 8 at the time.

Hope it all works out.

also this

JustJoinedRightNow · 23/04/2025 14:14

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/04/2025 14:11

I had a similar thing happen to me. I can't remember what I did about it because I was 8 at the time.

Hope it all works out.

How did you find someone to tattoo you when you were 8??

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/04/2025 14:11

I had a similar thing happen to me. I can't remember what I did about it because I was 8 at the time.

Hope it all works out.

Justchillinhere · 23/04/2025 14:10

I'd be glad my cousin told me the truth. I'd drop the person like a ton of bricks, She's no friend so deserves no explanation, ignore, block, moving on!

GoldenOrangee · 23/04/2025 14:05

Yes, I trust my cousin completely.

The only problem I have with this friend is she is incredibly persistent and will message and message.

OP posts:
chattychatchatty · 23/04/2025 14:03

Can you 100% trust what your cousin has told you? What’s your history with the friend? I’d be inclined to give her a hearing rather than cut her off. I’d say, I heard you were with (cousin) yesterday and were talking about me, do you know why she might have said xyz? I’m guessing she knew that she was talking to your cousin?

DenholmElliot11 · 23/04/2025 14:03

sesquipedalian · 23/04/2025 14:03

Ignore and move on. Don’t make it into a “thing” - and don’t drop your cousin in it, either. You have been warned about this person, so just give them a wide berth. This person is clearly not your friend if they’ve been making snide comments about you.

this

sesquipedalian · 23/04/2025 14:03

Ignore and move on. Don’t make it into a “thing” - and don’t drop your cousin in it, either. You have been warned about this person, so just give them a wide berth. This person is clearly not your friend if they’ve been making snide comments about you.

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