My friend has been talking about me

What made her feel so comfortable to talk to your cousin about you?

Anyway, I would tell her what I had been told. If I was your cousin I would not have an issue about that. If one of my cousins friends did this I would make it clear that it was rude and odd that she felt she could bitch about my family and that I would be telling them!

Just reply- sorry busy having my laughable tattoos lasered off

Are you sure that your cousin isn’t jealous of your friendship with this person? It has happened before!

I would have to meet and have it out with her in a calm polite way and ask her directly why she said what she did?

She will probably deny all knowledge but that’s why I would invite my cousin to turn up five minutes later and we could get to the bottom of it. Then I would make a decision based on the outcome of that conversation.

“Hi! How was the festival? Beth said she ran into you and you had quite a chat”.

Her reply will tell you all you need to know.

The timing of her text to you (the next day) suggests that your “friend” thinks there’s a good chance your cousin told you what was said. She definitely should not be surprised that your cousin has been honest with you in protecting you from such a snake.

You owe this person nothing OP, and personally I would just block and move on, but if you really feel it’s needed then you could send a brief message to say “I know what you said, so no I won’t be meeting up with you”. Then block and don’t engage any more, Anything more is a waste of your time,

She’s not a friend.
i wouldnt confront her. Just stop contacting her. Whenever she contacts you brush her off politely.
She’s no loss, she sounds nasty.

I'd pull back a bit. Be unavailable to give yourself time to reflect.

Personally I'm not hugely bothered if people talk about me when I'm not there. I'm happy in myself and I don't much give a shit if my hair/clothes/tattoos/etc give rise to comments between my friends. I don't need them to validate my choices and I'd rather they were "WTF has Moist done now" to each other than to my faceBut, which is rude.

I also respect that to other people it matters.

If this is someone you enjoy spending time with and don't much care what she says, crack on. Continue to have fun with her.

If this is something that's really hurt you, block her and move on.

Life is too short to spend it with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Life is too short to dump friends on principle if you still like them. Pick the option that works best for you.

Just reply 'no thanks'. And then repeat the same every time she contacts you (even if it makes no sense to whatever question she asks or comment she makes).

I would meet up with her & ask what she has been saying.

You are caught in the middle as she may have said those things or your cousin could be outright lying or has twisted things.

Think about both of their behaviour towards other people, so either of them slag other people off to you?

Always tread carefully when you hear things indirectly as even someone you think cares about you may have an ulterior motive.

Just drop her. While I'd be tempted to say exactly why, she might then take it out on your cousin; so just avoid and ignore her from now on, and give her no room to create drama

Personally I'd be evasive for a few weeks (no, very busy right now, can't meet etc), then block. But that's mainly as I wouldn't want her linking it to cousin and having another person to bad mouth about locally.

That’s so peculiar of your friend, surely she knew this would get back to you? But is now acting really normal and wants to hang out soon.

These things are awkward to bring up, but I wouldn’t worry about dropping your cousin in it, your cousin told you and I’m sure your cousin has no loyalties to her/doesn’t really care about her.

Reply to her text and say something like “I’m surprised you want to meet up with me after all those things you said to my cousin on Saturday! What’s that all about?!”

Not the brightest is she, choosing a family member of the person she wants to slag off.

Alcohol involved at all? Not that it gives her an excuse. Depending on how close you’ve been and for how long I think I’d maybe want some kind of explanation before I cut her off. I’d at least want to make it clear I knew exactly what she’d been up to.

I would imagine that she messaged you the next day because she thought she’d gone too far in what she said and was worried if you’ve been told or not so it was probably waiting for your response to see if you knew.
I think I’d be inclined just to reply with something along the lines of “ I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to meet at the moment as you clearly have a very low opinion of me” and then leave the ball in her court.

Why did cousin not say anything to this person while they were slagging you off? If someone was saying things about my cousin I would have challenged them.

Just tell them that you've heard what was said about you and have no interest in meeting up, ever. Then block.

Yeah and the poster was being sarcastic and unkind.. hence the response! Absolutely no need for her to dig at the OP.

She’s also the worlds biggest idiot for talking about you to your family member

I’m sorry this has happened to you OP x

Friendship break ups can be really hard to navigate.

I would speak to your cousin to see if she’s happy for you to message your friend about what she said. Then I’d either decide to block friend without saying a word or call her / message and say how hurt you are and that the friendship is over

You have reason to believe your cousin and to believe the worst of this friend so I’m guessing it has not come as a huge surprise that these things have been said

I’d be tempted to say “ a few comments you have made about me have reached me from several sources over the last week / month / year ..I am taking some time to digest these and consider our friendship , I will contact you “

if she has bad mouthed you to a cousin she has almost certainly bad mouthed you to others and she will wonder who , and what was said , if leave her hanging there …

Don't be that person. You know what the poster meant for FFS 🙄

I’d reply. ‘Hi Annie, I was really surprised to get this message about meeting up after hearing about the party on Saturday night??’, and let her respond. She’ll probably come back with ‘what do you mean’, don’t respond and just let the message sit there and let her stew.

This would be my route.

I'm not impulsive but I do not have time for cuntery like this.

Surely nobody does?!

Oh, what a prick. Thankfully your cousin told you.

If it was me, I’d reply “not a hope of meeting up after what you said to X about me, you absolute cunt” and then block, but I’m a bit impulsive.

Ask her about it outright.