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AIBU?

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Car as main surprise 18th birthday gift

54 replies

Vulture22 · 23/04/2025 11:34

Im coming from a place of growing up with zero help, had to get and pay for my own lessons/licence/car, as did DH, so I’m asking for opinions as some people have made me feel it’s well…odd

DDs 18th birthday soon and we’ve bought her a car as a main gift, she doesn’t know. Won’t be much more substantial just a few little bits as we’ve been paying for lessons/car purchase and will be covering her insurance for this year.
Shes got her test just before, it’s the car model she wanted, and I was thrilled to be able to do this for her as we didn’t get anything like it, I can’t even remember my 18th. It took ages to find an instructor with availability and then a while to get a test, hence she’s nearly 18 by the time she’s getting there.

A lot of people seem to think she should have had a car months ago when she started learning, or she should have just got a car anyway and it not to be a birthday gift? I’ve been almost made to feel tight. I would have been chuffed to bits with a car but maybe I’m still comparing to my upbringing too much.
I guess I’m just feeling down that I was chuffed and now feel a bit deflated.

YABU a car shouldn’t be a gift just an expected life thing

YANBU a car is a fine main gift for an 18th birthday

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 23/04/2025 11:40

It's a fabulous gift and I think it absolutely should be a gift and not just handed over. Mine got one for their 17th, only because she really needed to be able to drive. It feels much more like an 18th or 21st BIG present to me.

hattie43 · 23/04/2025 11:38

It’s a lovely thing to do , ignore anyone else’s view

TeenToTwenties · 23/04/2025 11:37

A car is absolutely fine as an 18th gift.

Different families do things differently around cars and driving.
Verging from no help, if you want to drive you pay for it all (either due to finances or on principle) to we'll fund it all lessons, car, insurance.

Anything is fine. Being clear on intentions is helpful in the run up to turning 17.

SilverSeam · 23/04/2025 11:36

It’s like a different world on here sometimes! Plenty of kids won’t have parents in a position to buy them their first car, so just give it as planned and stop caring about what other people think.