My friend says I walk like a penguin

I once got told by an old friend i look and walk like a pregnant woman.
I eat like a pregnant woman.
I replied with better to look it than be it unlike some that pop them out for money.

Now i wouldnt have said it but i had had it with her stupid comments for months little digs here and there about my size.

I do look about 4 months pregnant for about a week before im due on i bloat.
After i said what i said she said i was very rude bla bla bla i said oh dear me did i touched a nerve blocked and that was that.
It was years ago but i still think it was a great come back in the moment.

She has been unkind to you for years and you've put up with it to save your friendship, she thinks there are no boundaries now and can say whatever nasty comments that enters her head and it will all be forgiven. She sounds jealous and a user, playing on your good heart to taxi her daughter around and whatever else she manages to get you to do. She's no friend

She isn't your friend. Friends don't drag you down like this. I've had so called friends like this before and I've just let them go. They don't bring any light to your life.

One-sided friendship and she bitches about you behind your back. Not a good combo for a friendship and actually damaging to your self esteem to put up with this.

I expect she's very envious of you and your people pleasing, as a previous poster mentioned, may be due to you unconsciously trying to placate a difficult person to be 'nice' to you. As you have found it doesn't work. She knows you don't bite so says what she likes.

The length of the friendship doesn't matter. It's how you feel when you see her, does she lift you up or drag you down? I don't think you have much to lose by putting her in her place. As the great Helen Mirren said a few well placed f**k offs might not go amiss. She'll either behave better or flounce.

Op don't internalise it, some people are just fixated on stuff like this and it says a lot more about them. We all have our quirks, like I said your friends quirk is being dickheaded.

My best friend and I take the piss out of each other constantly. The difference is we don’t do it behind the others back.

That’s because you’re a good person, OP, and your so called friend is less so.

Does she ever show her appreciation for all that you do for her?

shes talking about herself

I was going to say much the same thing!!

Also not wanting to derail but it is important @Helpmeout99

EDIT: sorry I posted to hastily and I've only just read your reply. Personally, I'd still get it checked out by someone qualified just in case there is any truth to it because it can lead to a lot of problems in the future.

May I just say I heart penguins? I would be proud to call you my friend ❤️

Did you do ballet as a kid, OP?

I've noticed that people who did sometimes walk or sit with their feet turned out.

Supple ankles and all that.

She doesn’t respect you. If you want the friendship to continue you need to get angry about it to show it’s not something you accept. And then she needs to feel some remorse.

Well, it’s bad enough making fun of your walk behind your back, but doing it in front of her child is awful.
Good friendships can have an element of faux leg-pulling - my closest friend jokes about how her own father once casually remarked that she had a “fussy” walk, which still tickles her- and so sometimes when we’re walking I’ll say “come on Princess Tippytoes, get a wiggle on” etc, and we have a giggle about it. But that’s a totally different kettle of fish to what this woman seems to be doing. I would never ever spitefully mock her walk or anything about her looks and mannerisms because she’s a dear FRIEND and I LIKE her so why would I? Friends don’t behave like that.
This woman sounds like she’s insecure in herself, the weight gain has exacerbated that, and being spiteful about your physical traits is a rather warped way of making her feel better about her own. YANBU to be hurt and considering she has form for being a less than pleasant person anyway, I’d be distancing myself a bit. You can still take the children to their clubs/classes if it makes you feel better, and you feel that you should, but don’t feel any obligation to do anything with her socially.

People have quirks that make them unique. It’s endearing! Sticky out ears that remind you of an uncle, a tuft of hair that looks silly if it gets long, an odd choice of hats - it sticks in your head and you love it because you love them.

My DH walks with his feet at 10 and 2. The only people who’ve ever even thought to comment on this are his fucking awful, cruel, horrendous, shitty, shitty, shitty parents.

I can’t image ever making a mocking comment about a friend. I’m not sure I’ve ever made one about anyone!

I would start pulling away from her, still do the child pick ups etc if it suits you but make yourself less available to the mother, I’m sure she will know why
I couldn’t be bothered with temperamental women, you never know when their mood will change and they will turn and take it out on someone, way way too much hard work, she needs to learn that not everyone is willing to put up with her nastiness

Give her a penguin slap 🫣

She has self-esteem issues that she is taking out on you.

To be generous to her, sometimes when people’s own inner dialogue is very negative and they think horrible things to themselves in their own heads daily, the negativity can become a bit normalised for them and they forget that these words have serious impact on others.

I guess what I’m coming to is, if you think she’s worth a second chance, you could be honest with her about how hurt you are to find that while you show her respect and kindness, she mocks and disrespects you in return. Spell it out for her and see if she will apologise and sort herself out.

If though, you have known her long enough now and think there is no changing her, YANBU to pull back from this friendship.