To be shocked by a transwoman guest on Jeremy Vine today asking a female caller what sex she is - and whether she’s “been tested?”

I’m sure the woman who called me a pervert was absolutely, 100% sure she knew what a masculine woman looked like, too. She’d have had to be to have had the ovaries on her to challenge a complete stranger like that. Personally, I blame right wing media outlets for scapegoating trans people for the last 9 years mercilessly, tiktok for the sudden onset trans phenomenon in teenagers that created so much fear and mostly, I blame the women who appoint themselves the pants police and righteously abuse me in the name of protecting herself and others when we two are alone in a bathroom and she’s the one shouting abuse. I was just washing my hands.

Actually no. I don't challenge anyone in the women's loos, even when I've come across men in there. I also know what a woman looks like. That's not what I was saying.

Sorry Fanny, please free to tell me to stop jumping on your replies.

I just really, really want to know. If I got challenged, and my response was silence, or 'none of your business' or 'I'm not proving myself to you', then what? What should happen? What's the next step?

Honestly, no, I wouldn't say anything to anyone who looked like a masculine woman because I know what masculine women look like and how they differ from men, even feminine ones. However I am not surprised that some women have challenged masculine women in women's toilets over the past ten years and I blame trans activists for that, not women or feminists.

@AlertMaker curious to know who the guest was

sorry to harp on - so you think that nobody should challenge anyone?

you misread me - i wasn't including you in the women who have deliberately changed their appearance.

But people will feel more able to challenge anyone they don't immediately clock as a woman. This will, unfortunately, now include you and other women with PCOS. And it is awful, on a personal level, truly horrible.

On a population level, however, this situation works much better for many many women and girls.

Personally, unless they were being creepy and weird, i wouldn't challenge anyone. And many other women wouldn't either. I hope that will be your future experience.

It’s people like you who feel entitled to challenge me, a woman, just there to have a wee.

I didnt deliberately change my appearance to appear less feminine - the challenging happened when I dressed in dresses and makeup because on me, those trappings made me look like a trans
woman to other women. I started dressing androgynously because trans women don’t do that, they tend to dress feminine to ‘affirm’ themselves or whatever. I never wanted to dress like this, but I find doing so meant I got bothered less.

As I’ve repeatedly stated, I agree with the ruling on balance. Whichever way it went wouldn’t have made my life any better, but this way will make it significantly worse. That’s ok, because I recognise it will protect some other women and girls from men, it just won’t protect me from women.

Aaaah ok, yeah I was straight to endo, most severe cases are. There’s no doubt from quite young there was trouble afoot hormonally. I think I was 14 when PCOS was first mentioned.

Im lucky that conceiving was never a problem for us, carrying was a different story but I have 2 beautiful biological children I conceived and carried with no intervention which is a rarity in the PCOS community.

I have sympathy, but i wonder what you think the opposite ruling would have brought for you personally? nothing

I have said consistently that women who deliberately change/alter their appearance to be "non stereotypically feminine" should be prepared to be gently told/challenged that they are in female facilities.

I would hope, that while tedious, uncomfortable and no-doubt upsetting for you, you would be ok with a gentle reminder and your answer of "i know"

because a ruling going the other way would mean any and all men could march, unhindered, into women's facilities unchallenged. Or if challenged for the challenger to end up in court on the losing side.

This ruling means that men should stay out. And for the vast majority of people, that must be good.

Unfortunately, as you know to your cost, there are always exceptions ("collateral damage")

Forgot to quote you.

But you didn't say men. You said people of ambiguous sex. Which is me, and the PP that you were replying to. And millions of other biological women who are effected by DSD or hormones. Do you feel you that you would have a right to question me in the bathroom? Would you be brave and ask me if I belong there? And would I then be obligated to prove myself to you?

I can tell you right now, I'd not be saying 'but I'm a woman' in a meek voice. I'd not be producing any ID. What then? If I couldn't/wouldn't prove myself?

I’m not sure I’d be “shocked” at this at all. I assume they knew what the phone in was about.

I mean, no? If a male is using the women's toilets then they are not entitled to be there. That's what gives me the right.

There is no need to side eye anyone in a toilet. Why do you feel entitled to do that? If someone is behaving in an aggressive or threatening manner, then leave and call police or security. If they are simply using the facilities, leave them alone.

I can't say I've ever heard of hrgrapevine 🫠

Its a terrible shame that men's actions have created a climate of distrust that is impacting these women, I agree.

It's a stranglely absent story on any site which doesn't like trans people. I really thought they'd be all over it.

Here's another link if that one is unpalatable.

https://www.hrgrapevine.com/us/content/article/2025-03-28-walmart-faces-backlash-over-dismissal-of-worker-labelled-as-being-trans-gender

Pink news? Give me a break 🙄

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/03/27/cis-woman-fired-after-customer-accused-her-of-being-trans-says-it-felt-like-a-stab-in-the-back/

Could this be where we're headed?

Why on earth are you blaming feminists for the fact that women now need to side eye people whose sex appears ambiguous in women's toilets? I'm sorry that happened to you, it's not nice, but it's trans activists who caused the situation, not feminists.

I feel for you - I also have PCOS, am muscular and hairy, and quite tall. To top it off I now have cancer, which means I'm bald. I have received dirty looks in the toilets as well and am scared of where this judgement is leading. It reminds me of my school days, where the girls found out I'm bisexual and took it upon themselves to flush my clothes down the toilet, sexually harass me and ultimately forced me to change in the toilet because I was a 'threat'.
I'm scared too - you're not alone.

The only thing giving me comfort right now is that (for now) my understanding is there is still no law declaring that trans people must use the "correct" spaces. You are not obliged to prove or explain yourself to anyone. I'm practising the line "I am entitled to use this space, and I am not obliged to prove it to you". Nobody can call the police on you for being in the wrong bathroom.

There is absolutely no way of enforcing this without invasive medical procedures and there is no way I am complying with anyone who asks me to in the future. I would absolutely not want any trans person to be subjected to it either, or face arrest or harassment for simply being in a space.

This hysteria is not the fault of trans people. The media has been whipping up this frenzy and feeding people's fears using extreme examples of dangerous people, which you can do for pretty much any group.

Hi, I’m a woman with PCOS who has been challenged about my biological sex a number of times in recent years. It’s not had time to get worse yet but I’m expecting it to.

Yes. And did he share his male result?

Literally certified female.