Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My manager is making me come in the office 4days a week

312 replies

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 07:43

Since beginning of my role (which was coming out of covid), I've been hybrid working 3days in the office and 2days wfh. I had my own office but had to give it up for other staff that were in full time. Manger agreed for me to wfh and come in once a week - worked perfect!

In my recent supervision manager said he wants me in 4days a week "business need" and that there will be a room available to share with a couple of other staff. I've gone in and that room isn't set up, currently its dusty with extra office furniture/ equipment, basically being used storage room for now. I made a point to my manager and said could I continue wfh until the room is sorted, he refused and said to set up in that room somewhere in the corner for now.

AIBU here thinking I am within my right to refuse to be there until I have a proper work station set up, as required for my role? Not to mention sitting in an empty room for 8 hours with no interaction effects my mental wellbeing

OP posts:
MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:58

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

100% in a nutshell. I think the thread should just end with your comment! 😅

aylis · 23/04/2025 16:54

This thread is a really good example of people just not wanting other people to have nice things.

WitchesCauldron · 23/04/2025 16:51

Brefugee · 23/04/2025 12:50

yes but we are all grown-ups and must therefore accept that there are some jobs that have to be done onsite. And, as with everyone else, if you really want flexibility or hybrid or WFH nothing is stopping you looking for another job.

Show quote history

Oh yeah- all those years of clinical experience knowledge down the drain so I can put my washing out and visit the dentist...
Of course everyone knows that some jobs you can't do from home. So whining about having to go into the office when most people have had a good few years of WFH during the pandemic is not going to get a lot of sympathy

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:28

Botanybaby · 23/04/2025 14:59

Needs of the business I'm afraid and clearly while your WFH your slacking which is why he wants you in the office more

I don't understand what you mean by having no interaction is bad for your mental health when you'll be alone all day at home anyway what makes it bad for your mental health in an office but not at your house

You’re not understanding because you’re in such a hurry to voice your ignorant views and make up unfounded nonsense about OP’s performance, that you forgot to actually read all her posts before spitting out your response 🙄

Mondayblues2 · 23/04/2025 16:24

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

Show quote history

Its not your responsibility. Whether they like it or not, these businesses have to change and diversify. The world has changed, they need to accept that.

Edited to add that any thread about WFH ends in a bunfight.

Mondayblues2 · 23/04/2025 16:22

aylis · 23/04/2025 13:38

My mental health would be significantly impacted by having to go into the office 5 days a week and that's pretty much inescapable. Prior to covid, which was when we started hybrid working, I was struggling to balance school runs and childcare and other commitments with work and a not insignificant commute, while dealing with anxiety. In that sense, covid was an absolute lifesaver for me. The time pressure was off. I was able to increase my hours, my finances, my wellbeing, improve my work-life balance, and recover pretty well. All that would be gone. Luckily my employer can distinguish human beings from the machines they use.

Yep - pre COVID I used to spend 10 hours per week in traffic jams (one hour per journey, twice a day, 5 days a week). No one could argue this was good for me .....

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:19

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

Show quote history

*life

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 16:19

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

Show quote history

Either they own one of those businesses or they're your typical contrary MN poster.

99% of the time on MN you'll be accused of being a ridiculous, lazy spendthrift buying anything that you could make at home. Buying into consumerism and damaging the planet or whatever.

Apart from the one occasion here where they want to tell you not buying a £4 coffee or £6 sandwich is you being selfish and not caring about the British economy and throwing It's workers under the bus 😀

Usually it's more sneering at people for spending a few quid for coffee pods at home being frivolous when you could just not and buy a sack of coffee beans and grind it yourself.

MoominMai · 23/04/2025 16:08

PlumRaspberryJam · 23/04/2025 11:22

OP, check your privilege. Nurses, doctors, paramedics, police, firefighters - all these and many more have to go into many ‘workplaces’ in less than ideal conditions. And so many do exceptional service (hats off to all of you!).

You don’t have a desk set up? Sort it out! Imagine one of the essential services such as a paramedic decided to wait for their bosses to set up perfect working conditions.

Calm down, it’s not a race to the bottom 🙄. Also what’s the point of referencing front line public services? Most adults are aware of which jobs are compatible and which aren’t with wfh which is part of the reason why people choose the jobs they do. It’s not unreasonable for OP to ask her Qs.

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:06

ginasevern · 23/04/2025 14:09

@Needtosoundoffandbreathe

"We are only wanted in the workplaces because there is less being spent on public transport, in coffee shops/food vans, on all the things we are blamed for eating. We also then spend less on grooming/clothes etc."

Well yeah. All of the things you mention (and much, much more) that actually contribute to the economy in a multitude of ways such as paying taxes, renting premises, paying for maintenance and basically keeping our cities alive. To say nothing of the fact that they are providing jobs for people - jobs that can't be done sitting on their arses at home. You seem quite happy (even sneery) about throwing them under the bus.

Why is it my responsibility to spend my money keeping those entities in business though it makes my laugh harder?

JHound · 23/04/2025 16:04

WitchesCauldron · 23/04/2025 12:09

She works for them, not the other way round.

Show quote history

Does not change what that poster said. I did that with an old job once. I used to do all the hours they wanted me to (till 9, 10 and even 11pm and sometimes weekends) but would come in 5-10 mins late each day. They had an issue with that as it was not my “contracted hours” so I said “cool.”

I started doing my “contracted hours”. 9-5pm each day. They cannot force you to do unpaid overtime and if they won’t give her flexibility she should not give them any.

Abracadabra12345 · 23/04/2025 15:55

As someone else pointed out, the room is being set up to include others so OP won’t be on her own in due course. And she might even come to like interacting with others who aren’t just her husband, even if they aren’t part of her team ( since she has a unique role). It might be even good for us….

Praying4Peace · 23/04/2025 15:51

Unbeleevable · 23/04/2025 07:52

Personally I’d buy a couple of plants, take in a duster and just get on with it. Job hunt if you like.

I would also make sure all my dental appointments, medical appointments etc land on the extra day I’m in the office. And say to boss “I will need to leave at x because I have a dental checkup/smear test/contraceptive review at 2pm sorry only appointment I could get.”

That will help remind manager there’s a big advantage of wfh for employee flexibility and employee productivity.

Yes, lots of advantages for employees WFH
I know people who have cancelled childcare, look after their GC,go swimming,attend hairdresser appointments, play golf etc etc
These are just some examples 🤗

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 15:40

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/04/2025 15:25

How are you managing to work from home then with no interaction. Is that affecting your mental wellbeing?

The OP has a total of 5 posts.

Read them.

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 15:39

This is one of those threads where people are committed to not reading the OPs posts and also apparently just skimmed over the 1st or just lack actual comprehension skills so are making the same pointless posts.

OP started working there coming out of covid with the agreement she worked 3 days in the office and 2 at home.

That changed as she lost her office room so was working 1 day in the office.

Employer has suddenly said they want her in 4 days a week.

There is no business need. OP has a unique role where she doesn't supervise, train or be able to help others. She's simply been caught up in a new idea.

OP has never suggested playing a 'mental health card'. She has said working in an office on her own with no interaction other than saying hi in the kitchen because no-one else does her job and won't be in a room with her would be bad for her mental health.

As she WFH and so does her DP and they interact during the day on their breaks, that is very different to being alone in an office for 8 hrs a day.

Ayeayeaye25 · 23/04/2025 15:32

Doggymummar · 23/04/2025 07:51

I would say that I will come in once occupational health arrive to do my DSE and have signed the workstation off and not before.

You would have a long wait at our place for that we do our own online DSE assessments.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/04/2025 15:25

How are you managing to work from home then with no interaction. Is that affecting your mental wellbeing?

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 15:08

Botanybaby · 23/04/2025 14:59

Needs of the business I'm afraid and clearly while your WFH your slacking which is why he wants you in the office more

I don't understand what you mean by having no interaction is bad for your mental health when you'll be alone all day at home anyway what makes it bad for your mental health in an office but not at your house

I mean, RTFT might be challenging when it's hundreds of posts but at least reading the OPs posts other than the 1st one os not an unreasonable expectation for engaging in a thread is it?

Abracadabra12345 · 23/04/2025 15:03

CautiousLurker01 · 23/04/2025 08:31

My DH’s husband is about to announce everyone back in the office 80% from X date too. DH not bothered as he does that already (was trying to role model it to colleagues and those reporting into him), but is very concerned he will lose talented reportees if this is implemented with a sledgehammer.

I do think people were naive if employed on a office based contract pre covid to not anticipate a ‘return to normal’ eventually, but I think many companies should have done t immediately rather than allow this to continue for so many years - during which time employees have assumed it was permanent - and then suddenly change the rules.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with saying the return to the office should have been done much sooner after the Covid measures ended. Of course people have got used to it as it’s gone on, rather than seeing it as an emergency measure at the time

Botanybaby · 23/04/2025 14:59

Needs of the business I'm afraid and clearly while your WFH your slacking which is why he wants you in the office more

I don't understand what you mean by having no interaction is bad for your mental health when you'll be alone all day at home anyway what makes it bad for your mental health in an office but not at your house

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 14:58

OP this has gotten into the usual bun fight about whether WFH is good or bad.

Thats not relevant to your question. You need to establish whether your employer can change from your original agreement of three days, which as reduced to one day and is now increased to four.

the office is a red herring - that can be easily and quickly resolved either by your manager or by you (directing others, not doing it yourself).

I would recommend a quick consultation with an employment lawyer once you have located your contract. No working to rule, refusing to go in or complaining until you know where you stand.

and think about what you want - are you prepared to compromise to say two or three days a week? Are you going to insist on the one day a week?

also decide what your next move is. If legally there is no push back on this, are you going to start looking for another job? What conditions do you want in that job? It sounds like fully remote is really what you want. Be clear about that - lost of companies changing their policies at the moment

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8ew0jrjxz9o.amp

Man looks at laptop and phone

The companies in London restricting staff from working from home - BBC News

Some firms have requested their London-based teams to end remote working and return to the office.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8ew0jrjxz9o.amp

Sherararara · 23/04/2025 14:57

lunaemma · 23/04/2025 13:50

Everyone else who posts about WFH seems to be under the impression you can just get up and do some laundry or pop out to the shop or go to an appointment. Although my job is probably the most micro managed of all jobs!

Show quote history

Well that’s exactly what I do as a wfh Project Mgr. plus walk the dog a lunch time and do the school run.
As long as the work is done and overall I work my total hours then no problem. Ideal situation.

BunnyLake · 23/04/2025 14:47

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 07:54

Both husband and I wfh and have interactions throughout the day, whereas being in the office room is isolating. My role is unique in the service and so I dont have a team. With other staff its judt really a hi and bye on the kitchen.

Edited

I used to love working like that (alone but people milling around outside my space). I felt pissed off if I had to share. Some people would love it (me) some don’t (you), they can’t please us all.

SnugReader · 23/04/2025 14:39

Doncarlos · 23/04/2025 13:51

I mean saying something is effecting your mental health when in fact you just don't want to do it.

It makes a mockery out of those who actually are suffering with it.

Edit - sorry I quoted wrong post. Not sure how that happened.

Edited
Show quote history

I think you meant to respond to me as I asked what you meant when you said "don't pull the mental health card".

And what you're saying isn't "playing the MH card"

"Making a mockery" of people suffering from mental illness would be someone claiming to have a mental illness that they don't have to gain advantages like reasonable adjustments under the equality act.

Which OP hasn't done or said she is planning to do. What she said is it would affect her mental health.

Which it would. She'd be less happy and more stressed. Her employer is under no legal obligation to take that into consideration.

I think you thought you were doing some good in saying what you said but you are making it harder for disabled workers and contributing to discrimination because you and others seem to think that any mention of mental health is 'playing the mental health card' and results in people who just don't want to work in the office not having to because they mentioned mental health.

And it doesn't work like that.

Annoyeddd · 23/04/2025 14:27

Looks like attitudes to WFH have changed on Mumsnet over the last few months.
So many people have been critical about others being able to get all the laundry, cleaning, childcare, eldercare, chatting to DH and TV watching done during their lunchbreaks and commute time and yet still be twice as productive as they were in the office.
I am sure if OP doesn't want to go into the office four days a week then I am sure she can easily get another job where she can WFH as she pleases and free up her post to those desperate to get a job.