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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wwyd? School issues

60 replies

notsureyetcertain · 23/04/2025 07:28

My son is autistic, he is 9 in mainstream school. He has a ehcp and higher level funding, he has a full time 1:1 for his emotional regulation and processing issues. He is working at or above age related.
until this year (year 5) he has managed quite well in school in fact last year he had an amazing year, no issues at all he enjoyed going to school and did well. I’ve never had any major concerns about how they manage him.
This year he has a new (to the school) teacher, unfortunately there was a mass exodus last summer and there are 7 new teachers (in a junior school where only 11 teachers are employed) All three of the year five teachers are new. He had have his 1:1 from the previous year though.
initally there were a few minor issues (messing about, shouting out), I spoke to the teacher each time and made suggestions to support him (based on what had worked previously) these were ignored. He then got bullied by a boy in the class (with other children joining in). Thankfully that boy left the school. Since then there has been a few issues of hitting that’s been mentioned. (3 in one term) They also have issue with his echolalia, I’ve asked about strategies they can use but again not sure it’s being implemented. He hates school and doesn’t want to go

Recently I’ve been given a behaviour management form to sign saying they will use restraint where necessary. I’m concerned that that would be extremely distressing for him (as a person who doesn’t like to be touched) and I’m concerned they are not being honest about his behaviour and what’s happening in school. (He doesn’t tell me anything)

I’ve lost trust in the school and I’m also aware they brought a new extremely strict behaviour policy in this year and there has been 12 exclusions since all Sen children.

Would you move schools? Bear in mind there one year left.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 23/04/2025 13:31

I wouldn’t be giving permission to use restraint without knowing what approach staff are trained in, the reason why they think restraint is needed, other strategies they have in place and whether the provisions of his care plan are being met at all times. I’d also want a copy of their restraint policy including how they will debrief your child and other children who may be distressed by observing another child being restrained.

Original poster
notsureyetcertain · 23/04/2025 13:08

@24Dogcuddlerthank you I’ve made some notes. I’m actually on the board of governors so I have a bit of knowledge of how they are failing Sen children currently. The Sen governor left four months ago and hasn’t been replaced.

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 23/04/2025 08:56

So sorry that this is happening. If so many staff have left it may feel like a different school and the ethos may have changed.

You do need an urgent meeting and to arrange an EHCP review.
Things to ask or consider would be

Has anyone observed him in class to unpick changes and current needs ( SENCO or advisory teacher from an outside agency)

Has there been. STAR analysis (Setting Trigger Action Result? ) to understand current difficulties

Does he have access to support for sensory needs fidget items, ear defenders, sensory breaks or sensory circuits

Is there an individual behaviour plan in place rather than expecting him to follow whole class/ school expectations

Have Staff received ASD training or positive behaviour management training?

Are staff trained in safe handling e.g.Team Teach
This approach teaches “ safe handling” as a last resort and teaches a 95 % de escalation model
What de escalation strategies are in place?
The word “ restraint” should not be used and unless in extreme cases where safety is a factor ( and especially if staff aren’t trained in safe handling) it should be a hands off approach.

Quote the equalities act as they can’t “ have issues” with his echolalia it is a part of his autism
This may have increased due to his stress levels.

You could also ask to meet with the SEN Governor

Hope you get some answers. You could take someone from the Parent support service ( look on your Local Offer) to support you in the meeting.

Original poster
notsureyetcertain · 23/04/2025 08:48

x2boys · 23/04/2025 08:27

Arrange an emergency EHCP review as something is going wrong at the moment
Is mainstream the right setting for him?

I think so he’s managed every other year and last year had a excellent year his best yet

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 23/04/2025 08:30

Agree with PP - you need a meeting with the SENDCo, his teacher and the Head.
Send them a list of your questions and request a face to face to get the answers (as you’ll likely have follow-up questions).
For the school to request permission to restrain him, they need to explain the necessity, especially given how distressing it will be for him.
You should also ask specific questions about why they feel his behaviour has deteriorated since last year - is it related to changes in personnel, or is something else going on.

Good luck! x

x2boys · 23/04/2025 08:27

Arrange an emergency EHCP review as something is going wrong at the moment
Is mainstream the right setting for him?

Original poster
notsureyetcertain · 23/04/2025 08:27

VerbenaGirl · 23/04/2025 07:46

What a difficult situation to be in. As a starting point, can you arrange a meeting with the SENCo to discuss this fully and see if they can provide the teacher with support in using the right strategies and adjustments? (You may already have done this, as you have clearly been in communication with the school.) I’d be reluctant to sign the form without some significant discussion with the school. I’m not certain, but I thought that there was statutory guidance around this and I’d want to understand if/why they are taking this any further. Also, it’s about knowing what sort of support other schools would provide. Is there a feasible alternative and would your DS cope okay with the move? My DN moved to specialist provision from Year 9 onwards and is thriving, but I know that there is a desperate shortage of places.

its tough isn’t it, I could move him and it be worse but I’m concerned they will exclude him and it will be harder to get him to go to school and to move schools

OP posts:
Original poster
notsureyetcertain · 23/04/2025 08:24

Wowse · 23/04/2025 07:33

Are you in West Yorkshire?

I would ask for a meeting on the back of the letter to discuss what is happening and how they are supporting your child, that should help you decide whether you need to move him.

South Yorkshire

OP posts:
VerbenaGirl · 23/04/2025 07:46

What a difficult situation to be in. As a starting point, can you arrange a meeting with the SENCo to discuss this fully and see if they can provide the teacher with support in using the right strategies and adjustments? (You may already have done this, as you have clearly been in communication with the school.) I’d be reluctant to sign the form without some significant discussion with the school. I’m not certain, but I thought that there was statutory guidance around this and I’d want to understand if/why they are taking this any further. Also, it’s about knowing what sort of support other schools would provide. Is there a feasible alternative and would your DS cope okay with the move? My DN moved to specialist provision from Year 9 onwards and is thriving, but I know that there is a desperate shortage of places.

Wowse · 23/04/2025 07:33

Are you in West Yorkshire?

I would ask for a meeting on the back of the letter to discuss what is happening and how they are supporting your child, that should help you decide whether you need to move him.