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AIBU?

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To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

382 replies

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

OP posts:
Didimum · 23/04/2025 07:55

Really unreasonable. She paid for half the place, she can use whatever toilet she wants to. It was controlling of you.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 23/04/2025 07:55

Lbet · 23/04/2025 07:46

I don’t reckon this story is even true, would imagine the poster has posted this just to sit and enjoy the replies.

Oh! Maybe it's the poo troll 💩 🧌

EdithBond · 23/04/2025 07:51

If a toilet’s just been cleaned and you use it once before you leave, you don’t need to clean it again, other than a quick brush. How would the Airbnb know whether it’s been perfectly cleaned again? Sanitary products should be binned rather than flushed anyway. No wonder the toilet was blocked.

If I were your friend, I’d find what you did very uptight, controlling and humiliating. Are you often this uptight about cleaning and your bookings? You may have booked it, but she paid half, presumably to have a relaxing break, not to be told what toilet to use and why.

I suggest you apologise to her and acknowledge you need to be more relaxed and respectful to her.

ThatCyanCat · 23/04/2025 07:50

Even under your logic, I can't see the point. She either leaves the toilet in a mess or she doesn't (and I am sure she didn't). What does it matter whether it was the upstairs one or not? What difference will it make to your rating?

Wheelz46 · 23/04/2025 07:50

I would be annoyed if I was your friend, you are implying that she may leave the toilet in an unfit standard.

I am meticulous for cleaning up after myself and always ensure that a place is clean and tidy after staying there. To imply that I am not capable of ensuring a toilet is clean would be rather insulting.

Your logic actually makes no sense, you wanted your friend to go to a toilet that didn't flush properly when she was on her period, what would you have done if the toilet hadn't flushed after numerous attempts? Makes sense to go to a toilet that flushes properly.

BlondiePortz · 23/04/2025 07:49

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:44

Bullying

You are right the op did bully her friend

Dhxusksgxuks · 23/04/2025 07:49

Yes. I wouldn’t make a fuss about it but I’d be prickly if my friend interfered in the bathroom I wanted to use, especially if I was on my period. I would also expect my friends to trust that I can use a bathroom and leave it clean behind me.

misspositivepants · 23/04/2025 07:47

You were unreasonable and controlling. Surely whatever toilet she used you would want it to be clean? Made no odds which toilet she used, except for some weird control by you.

Blindtwitcher101 · 23/04/2025 07:47

Did you even let this friend use the main bathroom for a shower/brushing teeth/getting ready? If I paid half for you to get the bed and bathroom and to not even be able to take a shower myself and then be told I can’t use a toilet I would never speak to you again. You sound unhinged and that an air bnb rating means more to you than your friendship.

Lbet · 23/04/2025 07:46

I don’t reckon this story is even true, would imagine the poster has posted this just to sit and enjoy the replies.

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:45

CaptainFuture · 23/04/2025 07:01

Same, surely no one is as self righteous, selfish and totally batshit crazy as the OP in real life? Am assuming this was her only friend!!

Bullying

Smallmercies · 23/04/2025 07:45

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:27

Classic Mumsnet bullying pile on going on here.

Bullying?!? I don't think you know what that means. OP came on here voluntarily with her ridiculous tale asking if she was being unreasonable.

rainingsnoring · 23/04/2025 07:45

YABVU and were awful to your friend. She will likely rethink these mini breaks with you now @userfriendly55

Figleafpants · 23/04/2025 07:45

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:43

It’s ok to disagree with the OP but I find a lot of the language being used quite bullying in tone.

You could argue that policing someone about where they can go to the toilet is also "bullying".

Strictlymad · 23/04/2025 07:44

It was rude to imply she would leave a gross loo. I also don’t understand why you were stressing about your rating with her messing the upstairs loo but not the downstairs? If it’s all one property one messy loo will drop your rating whichever one it was. Yabvvu

2021x · 23/04/2025 07:44

You have a very good and patient friend. I suggest you treat her like an adult let her use the toilet she wishes in future.

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:44

Duckswaddle · 23/04/2025 07:40

You sound like a massively unpleasant control freak. Obviously you can’t tell people what to do like that! Bloody hell.

Bullying

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:43

Figleafpants · 23/04/2025 07:39

Its "bullying" to disagree with someone who literally asked AIBU and say that they would have found her actions offensive (which personally I would have)?

LOL. Right.

It’s ok to disagree with the OP but I find a lot of the language being used quite bullying in tone.

Duckswaddle · 23/04/2025 07:40

You sound like a massively unpleasant control freak. Obviously you can’t tell people what to do like that! Bloody hell.

Figleafpants · 23/04/2025 07:39

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:27

Classic Mumsnet bullying pile on going on here.

Its "bullying" to disagree with someone who literally asked AIBU and say that they would have found her actions offensive (which personally I would have)?

LOL. Right.

MereNoelle · 23/04/2025 07:37

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:27

Classic Mumsnet bullying pile on going on here.

Classic ‘noone agrees with the OP but the OP is doubling down’, you mean?

B1indEye · 23/04/2025 07:35

NetZeroZealot · 23/04/2025 07:27

Classic Mumsnet bullying pile on going on here.

By that do you mean that posters are of the same mind and are voicing their opinion? That's literally the point of AIBU, it's not even a situation where anyone is likely to agree with the OP in the first place

Longma · 23/04/2025 07:35

Yes you were unreasonable. As a grown woman she should get to choose where she’d rather use the toilet.
I wouldn’t have given in.
im capable of using a toilet without leaving it a mess!

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 23/04/2025 07:34

Yabu.
She's an adult and wanted some privacy and your scolded her like a child

LuluDelulu · 23/04/2025 07:34

Yeah, totally unreasonable and controlling. Even if you are super fastidious you could have crept up to the bedroom to check bathroom was clean to your standard. You don’t try to stop someone using the loo they want to use. You probably humiliated her.

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