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Original poster

To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

382 replies

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

OP posts:
McSpoot · 23/04/2025 10:24

Zebedee999 · 23/04/2025 10:17

You weren't being unreasonable. You'd alrteady done your upstairs clean/check so no issue her going downstairs.

Show quote history

The OP said it was all cleaned and they were ready to go. So, both toilets had been cleaned and both were at equal risk of being made messy (the level of this risk is debatable but it is equal for the two toilets).

MereNoelle · 23/04/2025 10:20

Zebedee999 · 23/04/2025 10:17

You weren't being unreasonable. You'd alrteady done your upstairs clean/check so no issue her going downstairs.

Show quote history

So you think the friend couldn’t be trusted to leave the upstairs toilet clean after using it for a final time?

Zebedee999 · 23/04/2025 10:17

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

You weren't being unreasonable. You'd alrteady done your upstairs clean/check so no issue her going downstairs.

GoodAtCookingCrumble · 23/04/2025 10:16

She should have peed/bled in the sink just to make a point. Utter batshit. The day someone told me they didn't trust me to leave the toilet clean would have been the last trip I took with them!

notatinydancer · 23/04/2025 10:11

Yes. Also get enough bedrooms next time.

IridiumSky · 23/04/2025 10:04

What a weirdo.

Are you her mum and she six years old? 🙄

Insulting behaviour.

McSpoot · 23/04/2025 10:03

CactusUmbrella · 23/04/2025 09:54

Reading it out I think it sounds unreasonable but I also know I’m the exact same when it comes to my Airbnb rating. We’d get on well I think, OP 🫣

But the rating is a complete red herring. Whichever toilet was used, it would be the same risk of getting dirty again.

FlakyCritic · 23/04/2025 10:00

Your friend didn't overreact, you way way overreacted, and it sounds like you could really do with some intensive mental health therapy if your OCD is really this out of control it is causing you to even control which toilet you friend goes to. Your poor friend. Apologise to her, and please reach out to a therapist, you don't sound well.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 23/04/2025 09:55

kellygoeswest · 23/04/2025 09:30

YABU but based on your responses it seems no matter how many people tell you, you will never consider this the case.

I knew from reading the OP that this was going to be one one those OP: AIBU? Majority of MN: Yes. OP: No I'm not, threads.

CactusUmbrella · 23/04/2025 09:54

Reading it out I think it sounds unreasonable but I also know I’m the exact same when it comes to my Airbnb rating. We’d get on well I think, OP 🫣

ClairDeLaLune · 23/04/2025 09:53

Blimey! Who made you the toilet police? Hugely unreasonable. And fancy embarrassing your friend into having to say why she wanted to use the other bathroom. How can you not see how weird and unreasonable you were being OP? You need to humbly apologise to her and mean it.

And I am speaking as someone who like you has used Airbnb a lot and I fiercely guard my excellent ratings. I would NEVER have done what you did.

Birch101 · 23/04/2025 09:53

God yes you were unreasonable.

Flin · 23/04/2025 09:49

Yes I think you were unreasonable. I think you owe your friend an apology and hope that she accepts it.

Next time you should get accommodation with 2 en-suites, or you should be paying more than 50%.

Goldengirl123 · 23/04/2025 09:45

Yes you were! Not only on this either. She shouldn’t really have to pay half as she had the sofa bed which you know is not the same as having a bed

mondaytosunday · 23/04/2025 09:42

I run an Airbnb and I do not charge a cleaning fee. It’s worked in to the overall cost. But no matter how ‘spotless’ a guest leaves it the place gets cleaned, as germs are invisible.
If a friend suggested to me I didn’t know how to leave a toilet clean then I wouldn’t ever put myself in that position again - in other words no more joint trips, and I’d think that she obviously considers me unhygienic and it would taint our friendship.
Plus, as pointed out, if you thought her using either toilet meant you had to clean it again (as your friend is incapable of doing it to your standards), what does it matter which toilet she used? Just because it’s your account you don’t get to dictate what someone, who is paying half, gets to do or where they get to do it.

Nominative · 23/04/2025 09:41

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

I can’t believe people wouldn’t clean the loo in an Airbnb - not even if you were on your period or had the shits??

Wouldn't you trust your friend to ensure it was clean before she left? Being on your period doesn't necessarily mean you are bleeding all over the seat.

CoastalCalm · 23/04/2025 09:41

Maybe she wanted to check that you hadn’t left the toilet covered in shit

AncoraAmarena · 23/04/2025 09:39

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 23:18

Both the toilets had dodgy flushes tbh. It would have made no difference her going upstairs

And yet you didn't say this to your friend, you told her she couldn't use the upstairs toilet as you didn't want to clean it again.

I would apologise to her if I were you, else she might not want to go away with you again.

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 23/04/2025 09:38

Yes, treating her like a little kid who doesn’t know how to clean up after herself. You are not going to loose your air bnb rating because she had been to the toilet. What did you think she was going to do in there??

MummaMummaMumma · 23/04/2025 09:37

Glad I'm not your friend.

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 23/04/2025 09:35

YABU. How have they overreacted? You were rude, entitled and unpleasant. All they’ve done is be a bit off with you in conversation and you’ve started a mumsnet thread about them.

pimplebum · 23/04/2025 09:33

you can get a clean quiet twin room with breakfast for £120

why are you paying so much AND cleaning but with no breakfast?

kellygoeswest · 23/04/2025 09:30

YABU but based on your responses it seems no matter how many people tell you, you will never consider this the case.

FortyElephants · 23/04/2025 09:28

Portakalkedi · 23/04/2025 09:25

Weird. Never used Airbnb and am constantly amazed at all the threads here about having to clean before you leave AND paying a cleaning fee. I'd use a hotel rather than do that. And why do you the guest have to be concerned about reviews? I realise that if someone was having wild parties, selling drugs etc then other owners might want to know, but otherwise? What a bonkers setup, especially given that every man and his fecking dog is an Airbnb grabbing landlord, with all that entails.

It's really not like that. Guests aren't expected to clean, just not to leave the place as a shithole. As a guest you care about your rating as hosts can decline to rent to you if you get a bad review. It works both ways for hosts and guests. Professional hosts don't rate people down unless they are genuinely unpleasant guests to host.

MereNoelle · 23/04/2025 09:28

I’d love to use hotels, but my autistic son is really really noisy and it’s stressful getting constant side eye from other guests. We also need kitchen equipment to cook his very limited safe foods. So air bnb it is, usually. We always leave it tidy and respectable but don’t actually clean, and never had any issue with reviews.

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