To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

I don't think you are being that unreasonable! I bet lots of people saying you are, have also been annoyed with children or husbands using a toilet straight after they had cleaned it! It's quite irritating.

I assume you pretty much stuck to using the upstairs loo and she used the downstairs loo during your trip (except maybe when she used the shower/bath). So it was kind of your loo that you felt responsible for?

It also seems a bit of a fuss over nothing.

Policing where she went to the toilet?

Way OTT OP.

And you steamrollered through her privacy and dignity. How humiliating for her to have to explain what toilet she was using.

You sound like a total control freak.

Actually, is this a reverse?

You chose a one bedroom place then charged her the same as you even though she had to sleep on a sofa - shitty. Asking her if she minded also put her in a shitty position, maybe (clearly) she’s a people pleaser and didn’t want to argue about it so just agreed. You could’ve said “hey friend, because I’m taking the one and only bedroom I’ll cover 60-75% of the cost to make up for it” but you didn’t.

You then put her in the awkward position of having to try and explain why she wanted to use a specific bathroom, like she was a child incapable of cleaning up after herself.

I hope her being off with you turns into her ditching you completely, she can find better friends.

Of course people would - WTF!!
Why on earth do you think they wouldn't? Do you seriously think you're the only person in the world able to clean a toilet @userfriendly55??? Bonkers!!!

If a woman posted on here that her husband banned her from using a certain toilet, we’d all be LTB. So definitely not great vibes for a mates ‘girlie weekend’.

you were literally about to leave so yes it would have made a difference. To her! She may have wanted to do a poo without you hanging around the area to hear it. and I'm sure, given your fastidiousness, she would have ensured she had left the loo clean knowing you'd have probably gone it to check afterwards!

I'd be weirded out by a friend telling me what toilet I could use when I'd spent exactly the same money on the property as them...

YABVU although I’m wasting my time commenting really - we’re 13 pages in and you’ve still not read the room…

The loo should be left clean whenever it is used and should not need a special clean at the end of the holiday! You were insulting to suggest she’d leave it dirty.

YABU. You took the only bed and the only proper bathroom and thought you could boss her into using the small loo with you standing outside the door shouting “make sure you scrub the bowl” at her rather than getting away from you for a minute while she sorts herself out. If I have a choice I always use the largest and most private bathroom available to me. You seem to have mistaken her generously allowing you to have the only bed with you being in charge. You aren’t in charge, she paid £120 for that bathroom just as much as you did and she wanted to use it. My money is on the small loo (with the broken flush that she knew about) was near the main door and you were rudely hanging about outside it and she wanted more privacy than you would give her. It also gave her about 3 minutes of peace from you. If she was going to have a massive shit on the floor the review isn’t going to say “5* guest! Massive shit on floor but it wasn’t the nice bathroom that the bossy one was using so wasn’t a problem at all!”

Very unreasonable and I’m questioning if this is genuine.
you sound obsessive and controlling. I would be really upset if you were my friend. You don’t need to deep clean the toilet each time and should trust that she’d leave it tidy.

I wouldn't have taken kindly to being told which loo I could and couldn't use in an airb&b I had paid for. You were implying to her that she couldn't be trusted to leave it clean. Not on.

You say you would have agreed to paying a greater share had she brought up the room allocation. If that's the case, why didn't you offer unmpromted? That would have been the decent thing to do. Unless, of course, you take it in turns to choose the best room - which sounds unlikely.

On balance, you sound like my eldest sister when she was in her late teens/early twenties. She's better now, so there is hope!

As a friend who was taking the only bedroom and upstairs bathroom, assuming my friend was ok with this arrangement before booking, I would have offered to pay more than 50% of the cost. I imagine your friend would have welcomed this offer should you have made it, but because you mention your health condition she possibly didn't feel comfortable suggesting it, nor suggesting somewhere different.
Maybe she is a very kind understanding friend and wasn't bothered with the arrangements, but to tell her not to use the upstairs toilet is odd. It is a shared rental for you both, your friend paid the same, yet you didn't think she should use a certain bathroom not even once.
Do you know your friend so little that you think she would leave a toilet in such a mess that you would have got a negative Air BnB review?, I assume she hadn't left the downstairs toilet looking like a crime scene whilst there, so why can't she use any toilet just before you leave?.

I think you sounded petty tbh and yes, unreasonable.

OP, you get that AirBnB won’t give you a separate top rating because the platform somehow understands that you only used the upstairs bedroom and loo, right?

I don’t disagree - just pointing out that it is a red herring and any discussions about the friend cleaning up after herself having no bearing in the OP being unreasonable.

But the downstairs loo had been cleaned too?

This was OP just asserting her authority that the upstairs was her domain only, because she slept in the only ‘proper bed’.

You were being controlling and rude and tbh I would be distancing myself from you. Your behaviour was not OK.

YABU

I wonder if OP made friend do all the cleaning downstairs and told her she had done upstairs but hadn't and was about to be caught out ?

Both toilets had been cleaned. She’d be cleaning after herself regardless. You join the OP in being unreasonable due to your inability to read the first post.

YANBU. Why would she want to use the upstairs loo after you'd just cleaned it? Seems bonkers. I suspect she couldn't be bothered cleaning up after herself!

Omit the thought of a kettle in a villa etc being near a toilet makes me shudder. It’s things like this that makes me take my own small coffee machine. 🤣🤣

You and your friend paid equally but you're entitled to the best of everything because of a health condition. You're in charge because "it's MY account". Your controlling behaviour is justified because you like to be fastidious about cleaning.

Your friend is probably sick of you trying to enforce this weird power dynamic and I bet she's got countless other examples of it. People don't want to be brow beaten into submission by control freaks, I'd be ignoring you as well.

You can’t charge her the same as you if she’s not getting a proper bed.

I have rejected countless cottages because the owners think some people will sleep on a sofa bed as an adequate substitution. It’s not.

I hope your friends wises up and stops funding your stays.

And the Risk is zero, as I'm sure OP's friend is able to clean up after herself.

Very unreasonable. Why did you assume she wouldn’t clean up after herself ? I’d be ‘off’ with you too.