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Original poster

To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

382 replies

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:24

The weekend before last my friend and I went to London to see a show and have a bit of a girly weekend, we do this quite often. I have an airbnb account, she doesn’t, so I usually book an airbnb (after consulting with her) and she pays me half.

I am quite fastidious with cleaning them as I don’t want to lose my rating, so we always make sure the place is spotless before we leave.

The place we stayed in was a 1 bedroom maisonette but spread over 2 floors. We agreed I would have the bedroom as I have a chronic health condition. She slept downstairs on the sofa bed. There was an upstairs bathroom and downstairs toilet. All happy with this when we booked.

We were getting ready to leave on the Sunday and we had all cleaned up. Literally about to go out the door. My friend said she needed to use the toilet before we left and went to go upstairs. I asked her why she was going upstairs, and she said the downstairs toilet wasn’t flushing properly, and she was on her period. I told her not to go upstairs because I had just checked/cleaned the bathroom upstairs and didn’t want to have to do it again. She got annoyed and we had a bit of a discussion before she conceded and used the downstairs toilet after I told her that she’d have to flush it a couple of times.

We left and all was fine but she has been a bit off with me since in our conversations. We had a good time and haven’t argued about anything else this is the only thing that there was an issue about. So it must be the toilet thing that she is cross about ?

Was I unreasonable??

OP posts:
mmsnet · 22/04/2025 23:12

youre an idiot

digusting behaviour

tachetastic · 22/04/2025 23:12

Your adult friend told you that she was uncomfortable using the downstairs toilet and you told her that she had to because if she used the upstairs toilet then you would have to follow her up and check if it was clean, and you didn't want to have to do that again.

Wow. Exactly what state did you expect this good friend to leave the toilet in after one visit???

Do you not see just how hostile and objectionable you sound?

Simonjt · 22/04/2025 23:12

So not only have you decided to ring fence the best rooms for yourself, you’ve also told someone who is supposedly a friend that if she goes to the toilet she is so disgusting that it will immediately need to be cleaned.

If a so called friend had attempted to police which toilet I used I would have ignored them and never gone away with them again, after all why would they want to spend time with someone do disgusting.

sparkleghost · 22/04/2025 23:11

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:55

We agreed to all this beforehand. We discussed the listing together and I asked if she would mind if I had the bedroom and she said no. She then sent me half of the money.

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

Show quote history

Except she did. She needed to use the upstairs loo because she was on her period & the flush in the downstairs one was dodgy as per your original post, no?

Having said which, I find it all the weirder you were so off about it. Surely a loo with a dodgy flush is more likely to need an extra clean than one that is functioning perfectly well? Make it make sense!

Hayley1256 · 22/04/2025 23:10

Why would you clean the toilet in an air bnb? All the ones I have stayed in have a cleaner that comes in after each stay! I leave them tidy but don't clean (have excellent reviews on there too)

Obvnotthegolden · 22/04/2025 23:07

And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left
But you'd already cleaned it, so what did you think your friend was going to do in there that meant it works need cleaning again?

Can't you see how rude and insulting this is to your friend?

You're asking, everyone is telling you but you're not listening.

Edenmum2 · 22/04/2025 23:07

Yes, of course you were being unreasonable. Bordering on insane.

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 23:04

userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:55

We agreed to all this beforehand. We discussed the listing together and I asked if she would mind if I had the bedroom and she said no. She then sent me half of the money.

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

Show quote history

I check them because it’s MY account.

Do you think you’re going to get blacklisted from Airbnb because your friend used a toilet, once, after it had been cleaned? What did you think she was going to do in there? Smear shit on the walls?

How do you actually imagine the property owner would determine whether or not a flushed loo had been used once after cleaning?

LittleMG · 22/04/2025 23:02

Op I think you should post your apology so we can vet it for you.

SoozyWoozy5 · 22/04/2025 23:01

Yes, very unreasonable!

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/04/2025 23:01

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

We all saw your point in your op @userfriendly55 but it's a ridiculous point.

How do you feel about the unanimous response that you have behaved outrageously? I see you're doubling down 🙄

MereNoelle · 22/04/2025 23:01

Yes, YABVU. I wouldn’t go away with you again if I was her.
Why didn’t you trust that she’d leave the toilet in a decent state?

Notimeforaname · 22/04/2025 23:01

Yes you were being unreasonable and weird. Wtf.

1543click · 22/04/2025 22:59

You are not exhibiting normal behaviour!

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 22:59

You were incredibly weird, uptight and tactless. She clearly had reasons, potentially embarrassing/personal ones, for wanting to use the upstairs bathroom instead of the downstairs one where a) you were basically sitting there listening and b) the flush wasn’t working properly.

Can you really not see how controlling and weird that is? Over something as personal as going to the toilet? I’m amazed she didn’t laugh in your face and tell you to get lost, frankly. I would not take kindly to a friend trying to dictate where I could change my tampon, frankly.

Flamingoknees · 22/04/2025 22:59

YWBVU

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/04/2025 22:58

And why wouldn’t you have needed to reclean the downstairs one after she used it?

And once again why are you cleaning any toilet after 1 use?

DUsername · 22/04/2025 22:57

She did need to go upstairs because the downstairs one wasn't flushing properly. Why would you need to clean the toilet again??

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/04/2025 22:57

Yeah that’s weird OP.

One use of a toilet does not spoil a clean.

SantanaBinLorry · 22/04/2025 22:56

Good god! What did you think she was going to do, shit on the floor?

Also, really no need to 'clean' an air b&b bathroom. Unless you've shit on the floor?

wintersgold · 22/04/2025 22:56

Your poor friend. How awful and controlling of you

Catwoman8 · 22/04/2025 22:56

No your friend wasn't overacting, who are you to police what toilet she can/cannot use? You were completely unreasonable and TBH you sound like a bit of a control freak.

Edited to add after seeing your latest comment- maybe she wanted some privacy by going upstairs to use the loo? Some people aren't comfortable using a toilet with others around.

Original poster
userfriendly55 · 22/04/2025 22:55

CaptainFuture · 22/04/2025 22:29

Did she agree to the sofa bed or a fait accompli?
When was bed time? Was she happy that when bed time was decided she had to set her bed up, yet you could go straight to an actual bed?
How often have you done these breaks where you get the bed, she gets a sofa?
Is it evident in the financial split of costs that you have it way better?

We agreed to all this beforehand. We discussed the listing together and I asked if she would mind if I had the bedroom and she said no. She then sent me half of the money.

my point was she had no need to go upstairs at all. And of course the toilet would need cleaning before we left. I check them because it’s MY account.

OP posts:
calishire · 22/04/2025 22:52

As all the comments above - you were being massively unreasonable. Also, you normally pay a cleaning fee. How clean do you need to leave it?! I have an Airbnb and professional cleaners. I literally have no idea how you’ve left my place unless I happen to pop in that day or the cleaners inform me of any thing notable. They’ve literally never told me about how my guests have left a place unless they’ve accidentally left something behind.

MummyJ36 · 22/04/2025 22:51

Wtf did you think she was going to do? Wipe poo all over the walls???

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