To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

Don't AirBnBs include a cleaning fee?

You realise you're paying a cleaning fee as part of your booking. You're not going to have your rating ruined because you haven't cleaned the place.

I've stayed in numerous ABnBs and I've never cleaned before I've left. I'll strip the beds and dump the towels so they know what's been used. I've never had a single complaint

You're in proper CF territory splitting the bill like that

On the plus side I wouldn't worry because by the sound of it your friend won't be in a rush to go away with you again

You don’t sounds a lot of fun to go on holiday with:

I think you were being weird and very unreasonable: this would be my last holiday with you😊

From what you've posted, yeah, my guess is she didn't like you telling her what to do. However, I also see your point- It's your account and keeping a good rating is important to you.

I think there will just be little snags now and then, in any friendship or other relationship. They're not always avoidable.

If she wants to back off from you just from this one small incident, or if it's an accumulation of things or something else entirely, I guess you could either ask her if everything is okay or just let her go without comment, if that's what she wants to do.

I think the majority of friendships don't have enough to them for both parties to want to keep them going forever. If you're the more fastidious type, perhaps you need friends who accept that.

Yabu.

We leave our air bnbs nice but I cannot imagine being so obsessed with my rating I policed another adults use of the toilet.

And also if you are going to insist on having the only bedroom with a proper bed then you also need to insist on paying more. (And I say that as someone with a disability meaning I need a proper bed and to be near the bathroom)

Yes, massively unreasonable, not to mention insulting!

What difference would it have made that she wanted to go upstairs?? Both toilets were already cleaned so it would have been the same issue whichever she used, so why would it bother you so much that she wanted to use the upstairs one??

You were being an absolute control freak. How insulting to suggest she couldn't be trusted to leave the loo in a decent state.

At a push, you could have said “oh, I’ve just put some bleach down there, could you do that again when leaving as I like to leave it that way at the end of a booking?” That would be a bit persnickety but not wholly bonkers. Telling her she can’t use it at all - not at all reasonable.

You basically outright said you couldn’t trust her to leave the upstairs toilet clean after use. And forbade her from using the loo she wanted to in an Airbnb.

She probably wanted a bit of privacy. Very unreasonable of you to prevent her from having this. She even had to tell you she had her period and still you wouldn’t allow her to go to the more private loo. I bet she is really pissed off with you controlling her like this and making her uncomfortable and embarrassed.

You paid equal amounts so you had no right to ban her from the upstairs loo.

Do you think you have to clean your Airbnb ready for the next person or something? Airbnbs are just holiday homes, they will need to come and clean the toilets themselves after each guest. Never heard of anyone scrubbing a toilet. There doesn't seem to be anyone on this thread who thinks your behaviour was reasonable. There seems to be a problem with self awareness here. I would be surprised if the toilet incident was the only problem she had.

She then sent me £120. She didn’t say, is it ok if I pay less than half. If she had I would have agreed.

You should have offered to pay more. As for the other issues , of course you are unreasonable.

And you also said both toilets flush dodgy so it made no difference. If it should make no difference for her, why it made a difference for you? You make no sense and your excuses are poop. When you book air bnb kost of them have a cleaning fee, what you pay for if you do the work you paid for? Make beds, wash dishes, clean toilets of visible marks (self respect not for others ) put rubbish out, towels in a pile on the floor, tidy up job done. Anything beyond that is frankly silly.

How horribly rude. F**k me, if I was your friend I would never go with you again! Of course everybody cleans the toilet after themselves what made you think your friend wouldn't? To go after her and check???? No no no no she was too nice with you!

You are so rude, dictating to anotber woman how and where she should use a toilet.
Your friend is an adult capable of leaving the toilet as she found it.

Yes you’re being proper odd.

She was on her period and you made her use a toilet that didn't flush properly? You should apologise.

I’m an adult, I don’t want to divulge to my friends if I need a shit, change a tampon, quick wank, apply piles cream or anything else. I’ll use whatever fucking toilet I like, and I’d clean it afterwards.

I assume she’s not prone to smearing shit over the walls or anything? Is she usually not to be trusted going to the toilet without your guidance?

Well, that's their problem then. So long as the toilet is flushed and has no visible stains or whatever on it then that's as good as it needs to be.

I think secretly you smeared shit on the walls of the toilet upstairs and you didn't want your friend to see and that's why you told her to use the downstairs toilet. Can't think of any other logical reason otherwise to be so unreasonable and weird.
Of course someone comes in to clean. How do you think the beds get made up for the next guests?

None of that is relevant to why you wouldn't let your friend use the upstairs toilet. Why can't you answer the many questions on that point? Do you not trust your friend to clean up after herself if needed? Why would it be worse for your rating for the upstairs toilet to be less clean than the downstairs toilet?

I don't understand. By your standards you'd need to clean either toilet after she used it. It wasn't like she was having a bath or shower. While it's good to leave the place clean, using the loo just before you leave, flushing it, checking it, and giving the sink a quick wipe would be completely fine.

Haha! 🤣

Yes of course YABU

But I've a feeling you know that 😉

I'm sure that'd be a bit spenny but at least it'd be cleaned for you hopefully @userfriendly55

Obviously YABU

I doubt your friend will be going on any more trips with you .. you have the bedroom and proper bathroom but pay the same . You dictate about toilet use . You obsess about your rating and air bnb account . What a fun time !
out of interest what’s the health condition that dictates you must have the bedroom ?