To think my friend overreacted? Air BNB situation

You were very unreasonable, controlling and rude.
She paid half so can use whatever toilet she wants. You are not the toilet keeper! She surely can be trusted to use a toilet without leaving a mess. She is an adult. You insinuated you cannot trust her to do this. That was overstepping the mark and I’m not surprised she was miffed with you. If you can’t trust her not to make a mess (I can’t even believe I’m writing these words!) why is it ok for her to leave a mess in the downstairs toilet and not the upstairs one? Or did you mean you’d completed the upstairs clean but not the downstairs check, so after she’d used it you were planning to go in after her and check/clean? That’s what is sounds like and she probably thought the same. Can’t you see how degrading that is for your friend? I don’t think there’s been a single comment in support of what you did. But all you’ve done is defend why you took the better room and why you like your good Airbnb rating. I also do a really good job of the cleaning when I leave an Airbnb. I have many reviews saying what a tidy and clean guest I am. It wouldn’t occur to me to stipulate which toilet a friend could use prior to check out. And I certainly wouldn’t insinuate they can’t be trusted to clean a toilet after use! I do hope you’ve read these responses and realised what an error you made. Your friend is owed an apology. If she is prepared to go away with you again (which is doubtful) then I suggest you insist she has the better room next time.

I'm not entirely convinced this happened.

Yes! You were rude.

OP hasn't been back since page 5. I hope she is listening to what people have said.

You asked if you were unreasonable - literally every reply I have read - I sopped at page 8 ish said yes but you still disagree - I am not sure why you asked if you are not going to take on board the points of view - you asked for.

You told a grown woman which toilet she could and couldn’t use? And that you would need to check the toilet after her? Like she’s incapable of leaving a toilet in clean condition?

Ya, I’d be off with you too. Absolutely ridiculous behaviour from you. If you value the relationship you should apologise

I cannot begin to tell you how hard I'd have laughed in your face if you'd tried to tell me which toilet I could use in an AirBnB.

@userfriendly55 Did you book theatre and restaurant seats close to the toilet?

YABU

We stay in airbnbs approx 5 x a year, never been asked to do those things.

I’ve never done more than the most cursory glance around, put used crockery in a dishwasher and turned it on, and not mixing up the recycling and the rubbish in any of the dozens of Airbnbs I’ve stayed in down the years. Never had an issue.

I think this is one of the things a disproportionate number of Mners have a bee in their bonnet about, like the insane efforts the same type of poster goes to to ‘declutter and stage’ their houses for sale, as if they’ve confused a house sale with some type of interior design contest.

By saying don't use that toilet because I don't want to have to clean it again, you were saying to her that she is a dirty bugger who will make a mess and not clean it up.

No wonder she was pissed off.

I'm going off the many threads I've seen here and elsewhere about the long lists of cleaning tasks the 'guests' have to do before leaving, and their annoyance at this.
No decent person leaves a place dirty as such, but I would not be stripping beds, emptying bins, running the dishwasher, hoovering, especially if I am forced to pay a mandatory cleaning fee in addition. Just as in any hotel or traditional B&B, the cost of a proper clean should be included in the price.

don’t normally say this, but is this a reverse? Who has that conversation with a grown woman wanting to use a loo?

YABVU. If the upstairs toilet would have needed cleaning after her using it then surely the downstairs one would too? Therefore it made no difference. Still ridiculous though, her flushing the toilet would have been fine.

You were unreasonable, and having read your additional responses you are still being unreasonable. Very controlling. When someone pays for half of a place, and sleeps on the sofa bed you most definitely do NOT get to dictate what toilet they are allowed to use.

Your poor friend. How humiliating for her.

Wow I literally have no words 😶

maybe your friend was just attempting to discreetly check whether you with your health condition had managed to leave the toilet in a reasonable state?

I disagree. People are frustrated that despite a huge majority the OP won't accept that she was in the wrong.

Assuming you were downstairs at the time your friend wanted to use the toilet for the last time, perfectly normal to want to use the toilet furthest away from other people.

If you wanted to check the toilet after she had used it (which I would find insulting if I was your friend) - why did it matter which toilet she used? Or were you not bothered about checking the downstairs one?

mad. mad. mad.

you basically insinuated that she couldn't use the toilet properly or would leave it a mess?

yabu

This reminds me of when I went to spend a weekend with my parents in my cousin's flat in London and my mum asked me to sleep in a sleeping bag so as not to cause housekeeping for my cousin.

Yeah you’re being weird and I don’t know why you even bothered asking if you’re not going to accept what everyone else has told you.

You owe her an apology for treating her like a child. If I was your friend I wouldn’t be going away with you again.