ILs “gifting” home

Everybody on this thread is fucking mental lol.

It's a free house to live in. Sil isn't forbidden from buying her own investment. Sil isn't prisoner in this house. Sil can benefit from this arrangement for 10 years then decide to move away/seperste from husband/join the circus and nothing will have changed for her except she will have had her own living expenses severely cushioned for 10 years. She could buy a house and rent it which she could likely never do while paying a mortgage and have it paid off in that time.

This is properly a looking a gift horse in the mouth situation.

Nobody cares about parents taxes / retirements. For all we know they are gazillionares. We don't need to speculate on if they will get state funded care after owning 5 houses or how much tax they will pay, we haven't been asked to give them any financial advice and we have no fucking idea what their set up is or what it will be when they die (which could be 30+ years from now).

Let them buy a house, they can let you live in it. But then you and husband jointly buy another property that you rent out. That way you still buy a family home, but you don’t risk losing everything

I agree with your sister. I would not even start playing that game. It's not a freebie, it's a trap.

She wisely doesn't want free rent in exchange for not being an owner of her own home and being under her in-laws' thumb.

If she bought a rental house of her own, that further separates her and her husband's finances. She and her husband should purchase their home together, with both of their names on it only.

I think these "gifts with strings" don't tend to work out well because the true thought behind them is ugly. It is not to help. It's to control and divide.

When I give my grown kids something, it's theirs, period. They can do what they want with it, though I hope their desire wouldn't be to try to cut their spouse out of it. I'd only insist on keeping my name on something if one of them was feeble-minded and therefore vulnerable to being cheated or scammed.

I think your sister is wise to continue insisting on being a full partner in her marriage and with their home, without his parents involving themselves. If they really want to help out their kids rather than attempt to purchase control and diminish the spouses, they could easily, simply, just write a check.

They’re risking everything if they need to go in a care home or even if they die then there will be inheritance tax if they bought 5 houses for their kids…

No. Just no.

Eh… it’s an interesting idea.

Sister could invest her money in a relatively aggressive investment thereby keeping her money as a safety net.

For this to work she’d have to prioritize saving and investing and she’d have extra in the fact she’d not be paying room… but would pay her share of the bills. No taking time out of work… or if she does DH offsets whatever the level of investment loss be. but basically they treat the house as DH’s financially while she (or they as in the offset) continues her savings/investing.

As for upkeep on the IL bought house her DH pays for all of that.

in theory then she could buy an investment property or just continue to invest having her safety net in the case of divorce. If there is no divorce then what would happen if he died? Chances are she’d inherit unless the IL’s put further stipulations… but again chances are that they are dead long before DH is.

In other words I’d tell her not to look at this emotionally but to draft out the ‘what if’ scenarios. She could very much come out ahead in the case of a divorce.

If the relationship ends she could find herself homeless with not enough to buy something for herself, and what about the marital assets? The house is out of the equation and HE could even have a claim over HER savings/property.

@nodlikeyouwerelistening makes a very good point here.

Do it for a few years to save money?

God that would be a definite “no thank you” from me. Buying a house together is a big thing in a marriage. Thank them for being so kind to try and help but tell her standing on your own two feet is nicer.

The first time the house needed a 20k+ repair the strains of this arrangement would show. Will inlaws foot the bill or is SIL expected to pay without any hope of recouping her costs. The mortgage is not the only expense of living in a home.

I had a friend with that arrangement. They invited us over for lunch one day, only the father was there, feet up on the sofa, tv remote control in his hand, requesting this and that.

I’d rather live in a small rented home, but have the freedom to live how I wanted to, and to not answer the door if I didn’t feel like it.

It’s not a good deal if there are conditions attached.

I wouldn’t assume it to be controlling. It seems a kind and generous offer to me.
And as for keeping it in their name, I can see why they feel that’s important too - imagine how it would feel to buy your child and their partner a house and for a lot of the money to be taken away from your child in the case of divorce.
But they are offering a free roof over their heads.
Sounds sensible to buy an investment property with all the money saved - which can be an income for her. Sounds like she is very lucky to have this opportunity TBH.
Relationships with in-laws are rarely straightforward anyway. Might as well live in a nice house, if one is on offer.

I'm with your sister on this. It's one thing if the IL's are offering to give them the money for them to buy their own home, but they aren't.

This will not be your sister's own home and god forbid they divorce, she loses her home and gets no equity from it. Don't forget properties grow in capital over the years, more so than interest in an ISA would for example.

Yes, she could buy an investment property, but that might affect her tax thresholds etc. and not everyone wants to be a Landlord and all the hassle that comes with that.

If her IL's own the home she lives in, as others have said there is the issue of inheritance tax (if they even leave the home to them!) There is also the issue of control, will they have a set of keys, will they pop in unannounced whenever they feel like it etc.?

No thank you. I'd rather buy my own house and have my own sense of achievement and control over my own home and finances.

Imagine if the son died - in laws aren’t going to want her there then.
Id not touch it. Or live in it and make sure I had a mortgage elsewhere and no contact with in laws

And if you divorced how would you live?

Could the in-laws move in when they are older and expect to be cared for, it is their house after all and they ( your sis and her husband) will feel like they owe them a favour…..could get complicated

Are they From the Asian community?

I wouldn’t do this long term though it’s could be good to save for a couple of years if that was on offer.
would the ILs be willing to gift a house deposit instead? They risk losing it if the couple split but it would be much less money.

i would ask her to take legal advice. It will count as their second home, therefore will be taxed massively when they die. Do not let her go into this arrangement without investigating further, as she may need to move out on their death to cover the tax costs

I would happily live rent free for as long as possible if anyone wanted to give me a free house.

I would absolutely save like mad so in the event it went sour, I would have enough to buy from cash at that stage.

But what about new kitchens / bathrooms, work to gardens, possible new windows, painting , over the years your sis and husband could have invested 100k into a house that your sister has no claim on

Would she have to agree all changes to the house with them?

There are a lot of things that need to be bottomed out but if done right could be good for your sister

I'd go for it and purchase a home of my own as security down the line

It is not in her best interest. I’m sure the husband will be keen, but she needs independent financial advice.

I agree sister would be effectively a lodger. It would only be worth it is she and her dh were strategically going save like crazy for 5 years in the IL house and then buy their own.

but sister needs to decide this with her dh. And it sounds like her ILs might well be too controlling to let that happen.

I would rather buy my own home. If the ILs want to buy a property, they can buy a BTL and give them the rental income.

Makes no sense from an inheritance tax point of view. A gift would make more financial sense.