ILs “gifting” home

How much has your Bil saved to be this picky

Still if your sister and husband split up, your sister is the one who would end up homeless and any joint assets split. It's a win, win for the husband, has a house and half the joint assets from marriage.

Other assets being sisters life savings or investment property

I picked up the fact that parents not only want the marital home in their name but also want their son to get half of an investment property that he has never saved for

ILs in my wider network do this, but think it's a different structure, maybe a loan that has to be repaid if divorce, but the couple do on paper own the house. These ILs are very controlling and they cause a lot of trouble, even with this slightly more benign structure.

setting aside the legal aspects, unless the option was living on the street, I wouldn't have done it and I had a lovely MIL and step FIL. I wouldn't like the feeling of chains no matter how light and golden.

Your sister is right, good on her. The house would never feel like her home. What happens when the IL’s die - will the house just be left to her partner ? What happens if her partner dies before his parents ?

Your sister will end up paying towards repairs, decorating, etc.

I personally wouldn’t as I have previous bitter experience with now ex in-laws who use their money to control those around them. It’s a horrible way to live.

They have had contracts drawn up so they are not turfed out if there was a falling out etc.

How do these work, then? I'd want legal advice on how watertight the contract is. PILs understandably want their son to be protected in the event of divorce, but it potentially leaves your sister high and dry - she would also possibly be at a major disadvantage when it comes to child arrangements if she is not able to afford somewhere to house them.

Who chooses the house, what happens if they want to move to the other end of the country and the PILs don't want them to, what if it turns out to be too small but the PILs disapprove of how many children they've had?

BUT they would want the property in their name in case of divorce.

This tells you exactly what they think about women.

I’d tell them to fuck off.

They still have to pay a mortgage though or they don’t have a property if things go belly up! Especially if she splits from him. I’d consider taking it IF the house worked well for me but wouldn’t change my financial situation as I’d buy something else.

I’d be concerned that in a divorce he would be able to claim on her savings. But she would have no claim on the house.

but then again she would have massive savings due to not having to pay a mortgage.

hmm. On balance if it a contract is drawn up properly with consideration to all parties by a reputable lawyer of the OPs approval and if no other stipulations are put on with regards to location, decoration etc then it would be worth it.

they’ve done it for other siblings so presumably you can see if there are power issues relating to it

Any parent who puts serious money into their DC’s home is going to want to know it’s safe. It doesn’t necessarily meant they will want to control the asset, just that it won’t be given away in the event of a split.

I think the principle is fine, ILs are being sensible, they want their gift to benefit their DC and DGC, not a potential ex-wife and a future family to whom they have no connection.

It all comes down to the relationship the OP’s sister has with her ILs, and the dynamic between them all as a family. She might have good reason not to want to get into this arrangement. However, if it’s just about the money, I think she’s BU.

Isnt that what you do when you rent anyway?

Yes, but she's been saving for a deposit for 10 years so she can buy her own place.

I think she should stay focused on that and not let her inlaws send her offtrack.

These huge 'gifts' are all well and good but they rarely come without strings attached.

It's the strings that bother me.

Glad you avoided it! I wish I'd listened to my doubts and not gone along with it. The fact OPs sister is having doubts shows she knows it's a bad idea - trust your instinct!

I remember feeling a little jealous of a couple the same age as us who lived a few doors down, with his parents living next to us. It had been the grandmother’s house and when she died, the father inherited and let his son live in it with his girlfriend, on condition they upgraded it themselves. So no mortgage payments at a time when they were skyrocketing and we were barely covering ours and very, very gradually doing our own upgrading.

Not so envious 4 years later when the relationship fell apart and she had no rights ( not married) to the house despite having put in a huge amount of work and money herself. She hadn’t been paying rent but had also had to tolerate continual interference from the parents over everything to do with the house and with the child they had. .

The man in the couple met someone else a few years later and she was much more savvy - moved in briefly but insisted on marriage before children and that they buy their own property asap.

Tax wise the situation sounds mad, as eventually they'd have to pay inheritance tax on the house AND CGT on your sister's investment property. I'd get proper advice because the tax bill could end up being house-sized!

Possibly a massive amount of inheritance tax down the line.

This is what I'd do UNLESS the in-laws interfere in other ways.

OP, I do hope this thread is giving you food for thought and enabling you to see past those apparent £££ signs.

Your sister is absolutely right to be wary and cautious here. There's just far too much that could go wrong and I am gobsmacked that some people seem so unable to see that.

Personally, I wouldn't touch this with a bargepole for all of the reasons already given. I'd be insisting that the property should belong to ME and DH jointly, not to the in-laws. If they wished to provide money towards a good deposit and ringfence that for themselves and DH then that would be fine, but I would NOT want them buying or owning the property.

I really hope your sister sticks to her guns and doesn't go for this. You should also stop urging her to go for it. It's far too risky and she doesn't need to learn that the hard way.

I would live rent free like that, yes. I would save save save. Although if the husband is an arse he could use this as a way to control the marriage. 'My parents pay for this house' sort of thing. So actually maybe it would become stressful with that hanging over you.

Similar almost happened to me, @BoogalooBoo

My late, ex PILs owned some land they offered to us to build on, only I refused after finding out they'd excluded me from legal discussions about it all and insisted exH attend alone

A wise decision as it turned out; it was shortly afterwards that MIL told me to my face that "we don't want you", so it's only too easy to imagine how things would have turned out had we lived there, only two doors away from them

This post nails it! I wouldn’t touch this with a barge pole.

Your sister would be in a really risky position should they split. Even if she’d bought another property in her sole name that would count as a marital asset whereas the family home (owned by ILs) would be out of the pot and just for her H

if they divorce, the DH has the home entirely to himself and they have to split all other assets - this leaves your sister badly off

What other assets?

I don't want to assume he is, but IF the DH is onboard with his parents' plans to keep everything in their family what's to say he isn't keeping other assets in their name too?