To think the role of grandparents has changed in a generation?

My grandparents were never involved in my upbringing. One set we didn't live near and the other set weren't interested.

It is similar for my DC. One set moved to another country and the other one isn't interested.

I do know friends who had grandparents very involved, though and friends whose children now have a lot of grandparent involvement.

I actually find now it’s the opposite - my friends are all insanely reliant on their parents and most of my mum’s friends are unpaid labour for their grandchildren and are exhausted by it. I think grandparents today do way too much, I’d be ashamed to ask for that much help for free.

I was a 90’s kid and didn’t have involved grandparents - they were loving but we saw them once every six weeks or so, and they very rarely babysat me. Most kids I knew grew up similarly.

I am very involved in my grandchildren 's life's. My parents were not at all involved in my children's lives and I didn't know my grandparents at all. So my experience is the complete opposite of OPs. My friends who are the same age have similar experiences so I don't think grandparents are less involved now.

It varies from family to family. My mother was brought up on the family farm and her parents lived there with their parents. My grandmother looked after her parents until they died in the late 60s. My great grandmother greatly looked after my mother throughout the war years as my grandmother, with her father, was running the farm because her brothers and husband were at war.

My parents were not committed parents and I would say my upbringing was 50% parents and 50% grandparents.

I had my DC at 35 plus when mother was caring pretty much full-time until my grandparents died.

We were too far away for regular overnight visits (200 mile round trip( but when I was back at work and dc were 7 they used to go to mother's for a week at a time in the holidays.

My grandmother was never an employee so had flexibility. My mother was self employed from late 30s to early 50s and then did step's books.

I am mid 60s and still employed so have less flexibility but am reducing hours in the autumn so I can do more for mother.

I imagine I am likely to be nearly 70 when the dc have children. I am not persuaded I will be up for heavy duty grandparents but dh and I have agreed that we will help with nursery fees and emergencies where possible. We never had the emergency cover.

I think this leapfrogs.
If Bill and Jane are bringing up children but aren't enjoying it they rely heavily on their parents. Their children Sid and Jemima go on to have children with their respective spouses thinking 'it's not that hard, kids go to their grandparents 2 whole weeks in the summer, and every Friday night.". But Bill and Jane are the same people they've always been and still don't enjoy the company of small children so aren't offering to have the grandkids at all. Sid and Jemima (and partners) had high expectations but these aren't met.
Meanwhile in another family where no grandparent care was used the parents think "wow this is hard" and resolve to help their own kids as much as possible. These kids has no expectation of grandparent help as their parents never got any, so are impressed with whatever is offered!

I guess more people are having children later so their parents are older? I had my children in my 20s, my parents were in their 50s and my mum looked after my eldest two when I went back to work. Even when I stopped working after baby no 3 (and 4 and 5!) they were still very involved, happy to have the kids overnight if we went out. I think that it gets harder when Grandparents are in their 60s and 70s - it's very tiring looking after little ones!

That's the grandmother hypothesis, that women live longer then reproductive age to help with grandchildren. It has been debunked as a theory.

I agree with the other poster that it has more to do with women unshackling themselves from spending their lives being an unpaid carer when they would prefer to do other things.

I'm in my 50s and have my grandson one day a week so his parents can work unsocial hours.
My own grandparents regularly looked after me in the school holidays. And my 5 siblings.

My own parents never babysat or took my boys even for a day. They did emergency childcare. That's all.
I adore my grandson. I'd look after him more if I could but I'm a carer for my disabled DH as well as working part time

My own mum and dad look after my pre-school child two days a week and my mum says she meets lots of grand parents in the park and also knows of other socially that do the same, so I do think it varies more than your OP suggests.

I have noticed this with me and my friends parents.
I think it’s because our parents tend to work till they are older and then want to enjoy their social lives while still fit and active rather than get too involved in grandchildren babysitting/care. That said my in-laws and my mum enjoy seeing our children, and occasionally will watch one of them while we take the other to a party for example. But no one is volunteering overnights or to babysit!

I think the only time my grandparents ever babysat any of their grandchildren were for medical emergencies and parents evenings. Wonderful people, all of them, but neither they nor my parents saw their role as providing childcare.

It’s civilisation: humans have moved on from basic biological patterns. We did this long before the last generation. I think the more recent changes are due to women unshackling themselves from cultural chains.

At a risk of anecdotes fighting anecdotes.. You have more support from your children’s grandparents than I have ever had, than my parents ever had with me, and my grandparents ever had with my parents. It so depends on individuals involved.

my parents have now babysat twice, but that’s over the course of 13 years of grandparenting and one of those times was a medical emergency. But thst is twice more than my grandparents ever looked after me so you could say grandparent involvement had increased over the generations for me…

Some interesting thoughts!

I think it's different in different families.

In some families, one or several grand parents are dead. Not much to do about that.

Not everyone wants to live close to their parents/parents-in-law.
I have a female friend, who is in her 80s now. She moved to her husband's family farm and lived next door to her parents-in-law, from age 25. It had many upsides, of course, but also some negatives. Sure, some childcare from the grandparents, but also less privacy, and the fact that she was the one to take care of her parents-in-law when they became very old.

I am not a parent myself, but I know that many parents are not comfortable with leaving their two year old child with the grandparents for a week, or even a night.

I think it's just different families and different circumstances.

I never really had involved grandparents as a child- the live ones weren't interested and others died before they had grandchildren.

Out of my children's grandparents 3 out of the four won't retire from full time work until well into their 70s and the 4th is a very present and involved grandparent.

At school pickup I've observed there's more grandparents than parents regularly. And even more interestingly morr dads than mums.