Wrong or Right?

At her age and with so many children, if she wants a long term relationship, it is possible she wants a step father that will help to care for those children and provide economic support for them. If she is working and earning enough to support them fair enough and if the other parents help , age does not matter if not using him , but if she is looking to use him. Either way before he ends in a long term relationship with a woman with 5 kids, he probably should try to socialise more and see more. Make more friends. I mean how does he know what is best for him without any experience, without socialising out there, without going out with other women , without going out on dates etc. It isn't even just about not having a previous sexual relationship but about being around other people so he can make friends and maybe find someone to go out that way. Is he working. He needs to be around more people and work may help or study or even volunteering, etc. He needs his own life and friends group to find out what is out there for him. Maybe this lady is good for him after all but surely he should try to meet other ladies . It is creepy that the first woman for him is a neighbour that her mom's friend and who is also almost double his age and with 5 kids. The woman can see a young, inexperience man that finds difficult and fearful to socialise with others, and that she can most likely mould him to whatever she needs and that will not challenge her.

This is all so weird to me. When I was 20, my private life was private. And my family have no clue when I lost my virginity.

He's a pretty silly guy for not using protection. At 20 years old he should know better,

All you can do is advise him.

@McSteamyorMcdreamy personally I find it a bit bizarre that a 38 year old finds a 20 year old attractive

This gets weirder and weirder. Not only do you know an awful lot about your nephew’s sex life, but your family now has insider information on the longterm contraception methods of the woman he slept with?

He'll probably be a father soon!

Nephew doesn't sound like a great person.

Used this women and didn't protect her or himself.

I'd advise him to get a STI check. You don't know where else she has been !

Well I would be as concerned as the OP is my nephew who is a similar age was making the same decisions.

What is so odd about that? I'm close with my family so i can totally imagine being consulted in the same way. It absolutely sounds like a naive young man is being taken advantage of by a much older woman.

Again, i wonder if you and others would view this situation differently if it were a 20 year old woman & 38 year old man...

I would be very uncomfortable about it, but there’s nothing you can do except talk to him about the importance of condoms if you get the opportunity. If he’s not careful he’ll be linked through a child with her for the rest of his life.

@McSteamyorMcdreamy but its not your daughter is it?? Its your nephew who is old enough to make up his own mind who he has sex with!?

This story immediately sprung to mine. I don’t think you’re wrong to be concerned.

https://www.merseyside.police.uk/news/merseyside/news/2023/november/woman-sentenced-to-life-in-prison-for-murder-of-kasey-anderson/

If you read the family’s side she was 23 years older and started the relationship when he was around 19.

Why is that weird?
They aren't "discussing his sex life", they are talking about their concerns that he might be being taking advantage of surely?

If this was a 20 year old woman and a 38 year old man i expect the responses here would be very different!

You clearly just posted here wanting a boatload of people to tell you how disgusting it is, you think it's disgusting that's your opinion but why do you need that validating?

Because most views are different to yours now are you going to change your views? Or are you just going to argue with everyone who disagrees with you?

Fgs, it's not weird at all.
Of course his mum will have a pretty good idea of whether he has had a sexual relationship yet & discussing her concerns about this new relationship with her own sister is not "weird".

Of course the OP & her sister are right to be concerned about a naive young man of 20 getting involved with a woman nearly twice his age!
The only one being "weird" here is you for thinking they should just accept it and think it's OK.

That’s even weirder! Discussing an adult’s sex life with his sister

Yanbu to be disgusted. At all. Unfortunately, you can only hope he'll manage to get it out of his system without becoming a father.

Should have just said that then rather than bringing up her parental status, which has nothing to do with your actual concern.🙄

Op he's old enough, what is your problem??

The way you describe her makes you sound like a dick. Are you equally as disparaging about the 4 feckless men that got her pregnant and then abandoned their kid(s)?

Single mothers are usually single because the father(s) couldn’t be arsed to grow up and take responsibility for the child they created.

Make sure he knows he needs to use condoms, every time. Not only because his new girlfriend sounds pretty lax about contraception, but to avoid the risk of sexually transmitted infections. He doesn't want to start his adult life with a nasty itch and paying child maintenance for the next 18 years.

You are making loads of assumptions here. It’s hardly likely to come to anything is it?