Things in-laws do to annoy you.

My MIL is lovely to me, when I had an op she called until I felt better to make sure I was OK. However she is dreadful to my very lovely husband, he had a triple bypass and was very ill, to the point I thought I might lose him. She never called, he had to call her to let her know how he was, he has to call her on his birthday for her to wish him a happy birthday. The list goes on but the most hurtful was when my sons visited her on their own and she said the most awful things about him, both have ASD and in their 20s but texted me asking what they should do, I told them to leave and go get something to eat.Horses for courses I guess

Mil makes crappy comments at me when dh leaves the room. Usually informing me how better behaved ds is for them .

I think she thinks I’m the reason we don’t see a lot of her. It’s a tually dh who finds them both a pita.

General cuntish behaviour in mil and sil but mainly their selfishness and penny pinching.

Mine cooks all vegetables until they're tasteless mush, with the exception of roast potatoes. Any brown or crispy bits on a roast potato are "burnt" and served with an accompaniment of grovelling apology.

Her house is always so overheated that it's like being in one of the tropical houses at Kew, but she constantly asks everyone if they're warm enough, while we're all wishing it was acceptable to strip off and sit there in just our pants.

There are "too many foreigners" in the UK, and this includes the black paramedics who took her to hospital when she had pneumonia, the Filipino nurses who looked after her in intensive care and her GP of south Asian heritage who refuses to give her antibiotics for a simple cold. But she's not racist.

She doesn't understand why one of her grandchildren, who is neurodivergent and has a diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder, can't "just get a job". There's no history of mental health issues in the family so it must come from her daughter in law's side, despite the fact that her father was diagnosed manic depressive, her late husband was a total control freak (OCD?) who killed himself and niece's father, MIL's son, is almost certainly ND too.

Her children were totally terrified of their volatile, controlling father, but they all had such lovely childhoods, with wonderful caravan holidays during which they were all scared to do anything for fear of upsetting their father.

Talk about rewriting history...

My MIL has major FOMO. Any event or get together she will want to carry on until the bitter end, when everyone else is yawning and saying it's a school night.

She actually locked us out of a holiday home once so we'd have to come and join her at a bar, claiming "that was always the plan" (it really wasn't - DH and I were having a date night during the holiday).

Last Christmas, my husband and I were sitting uncomfortably on the floor, BIL and SIL wanted to get back for their dog and FIL wanted to get home for Gavin and Stacey. MIL wanted to start another game though...

We'd want to be around more if she didn't push things to the bitter end.

Unlikely as mine passed away a few years ago. But, yes she was totally unaware that bechamel sauce was an ingredient.

The first time DH sampled my Mum's (Food Of The Gods) lasagne he refused to believe it was actually lasagne.

No it isn't. If OP is that bothered, she can learn it! Only in little Britain are people offended by other languages.

Do we have the same MIL because this is also a dinner as they don’t like the white sauce part 😂

Oh dear God, that's released a suppressed memory of MIL's hideous 'Three Ingredients lasagne'. Pasta sheets layered with cheap, browned mince mixed with tinned tomatoes. That was it.

Mine also say things like Mataland and Dumelms and everything is “was you” just generally incorrect grammar, saying things like “bot bot” for a bottle. Honestly grinds my gears.

Can also make a spaghetti bolognese in 5 mins flat by browning the mince, adding a tomato jar and bam it’s on the table. Thinks it’s strange that my young children eat things like olives and humous because they’re not “children’s food”

Thing is, they are not doing anything ‘to annoy you’.

They are living their usual lives, which just might be different to yours or unfamiliar to you.

If they annoy you, that's down to you.

Oh god where to start… Believing Farage et al will ‘sort the country out’.

Various awful opinions about immigrants / Islam

Saying ‘pacific’ instead of specific.

Refusing all jabs as ‘she has an immune system’.

Complaining about her health despite doing jack shit about it.

Controlling every thing and every one (or trying to)

@BernardButlersBra Doesn’t it just make your blood boil! I sympathise!

@LeaveALittleNote quite. My ex MIL has never put a foot wrong in her life and is completely blameless! Never mind her:

1. saying women who have children and work are child abusers
2. getting blind drunk at her nephews wedding and having to be taken home halfway through the wedding breakfast by my husband and l (we drove so we were stuck with her 🙄). No apology or acknowledgment, to this day she claims she was ill
3. insisting l was converting to her religion when l got engaged to her son. For clarity l never converted and had no intention of doing so

Those are just off the top of my head, l can't be bothered thinking of more and it's too depressing!

Sounds familiar. MILs like ours can do a lot of damage, and they’re very good at making other people look like the problem when things get said or when boundaries get set.

All I can see in these posts are that these are things that do annoy you, not that they are doing it TO annoy you all! Good goodies. You all chose their offspring so they can’t be all bad!

MIL always knows best based on BS she’s read on social media. It’s not worth trying to stand up or argue with her. My Mum once stood up to her and MIL tried to play the victim saying she was scared of my Mum! She will share clickbait horror stories on FB in relation to things that we do/use if we don’t listen to her. Annoyingly we’re relatively healthy and active and she’s overweight and lives a very sedate lifestyle but that’s never acknowledged. For these reasons family events can often be painful and I try to keep both families separate where possible, which I find sad.

always moans at me for being rude and not friend requesting her on Facebook….. I don’t have Facebook 😂😂😂

Constantly makes comparisons between my DC and golden SIL's DC (who frankly are no where near as awesome as mine).

FIL is really rude to waitressing staff. I hate going out for meals with them. He expects 5 star service in a Wetherspoons.

Makes snide comments about me working from home. Most recent one was linking my love of coffee to "constantly making myself a drink at home to avoid doing work".

Sending you virtual hugs xx

MIL never once acknowledged to my face that I had miscarried her first grandchild. Neither did she ever acknowledge to my face that my father had died. Or when both of my grandparents passed away. Just nothing from her.

When BIL was deep in an emotional crisis and contemplating suicide he visited her for some support, but she went and locked herself in her bedroom until he left.

She was surprisingly good at maths but only had the literacy levels of, maybe, a 12 year old? She would mock my English Literature degree and laugh at our DDs for reading books. She refused to let them watch any children's fantasy type films/TV in her presence because, in her words 'I don't like things that aren't real.'

And so, so many peculiar rituals that made absolutely no sense e.g. always, always cooking a full family roast on a Sunday even though no family were present and FIL spent all of Sunday in the pub. And she was only able to drive on 3 specific roads in her home town - she once got caught in a diversion and so just stopped the car and walked home in heavy rain instead.

Looking back, I now realise she most likely had undiagnosed ASD and couldn't cope with a lot of every day life.

Why let it be all about her? Personally l would decline to go on holiday, no need to put up with her shitty behaviour at home and away. Part of the reason my first marriage failed is my MIL being overbearing and invasive e.g. trying to come to stay for 3 weeks the day we got back from honeymoon

my dm definitely annoys me and my DH more than his parents annoy us. She comes to stay and “tidies” aka hides everything! If it’s out of sight, it’s tidy. No matter where or what and that you can’t find it for weeks afterwards. Everything from toiletries to kitchen utensils and clothes. Have told her not to but she “just wants to help” 🤯

@SoOxon

The washing up bowl sounds awfully familiar 🤮

I also disagree about the war / post-war argument. Pretty much everything in their house is fromJohn Lewis or Waitrose. It's more a lack of motivation / poor standards issue

The front door thing is infuriating and doubly so during the winter. Just close the fucking door! It's really not that hard. They do it when going in or out

Yup. This.

Last summer, after 6 years of her increasingly controlling and utterly unhinged behaviour, I literally wrote to her: "you are not the matriarch of mine and (husband's) family. I am. You are not (children's) mother. I am. Please, I am begging you, please respect me as (husband's) wife, (children's) mother, the wife of our home and as a fellow capable adult woman".

The above was in response to her sending me dictatorial and manipulative texts about, amongst other things, me supposedly keeping the children away from her (it was a Sunday, she'd seem them the previous Weds and Thurs) and demanding that I stop letting mine and my husband's friends come over, and stop going to visit them, because she was "unhappy with people outside of the family being around my grandchildren".

This was all a few days after she'd literally gate-kept my husband's health status from me after he'd gone to hospital with a then-not-confirmed heart attack. He'd called her to ask her to watch the kids to let me go to him and she'd instead gone to him, put the phone down on me rather than put me onto a doctor or nurse when, after an hour of waiting, I called him to ask how he was (he was being assessed, so she had his phone), put herself down as his emergency contact with the ward staff, then took more than an hour (when it's 15 mins away by foot/regular bus or 5 by taxi) to get to ours to watch the kids while I went to him - she wasn't upset, worried or panicky by then, she was calm, nonplussed as to why I was upset and almost hyperventilating (since I thought she'd been called back to hospital, and my husband was dying or dead), and felt the situation was fixed because she'd dealt with it. She had actually gone home first to pick up some mineral water (I kid you not) before coming to ours.

Rather than listen, take my heartfelt plea seriously, even consider anyone but herself, on the Monday she instead went to visit my husband and spent the entire hour (I was up next; he could only have visitors during a 2 hour period) ranting and railing about me. My husband had had had a double bypass 3 days earlier.
.