To think my friend is making a HUGE mistake and she should leave well alone.

Honestly I think you’re the one that should leave well enough alone, OP.

Whether it works or doesn’t or blows up, just be a supportive friend to her. If you try to interfere and give unsolicited opinions or advice she’s just going to think that you’re “against” her and get hostile. Let her get on with it. Who knows, it may turn out well.

Spite! Love it! Feel for the kid though being raised in this bizarre set up. This relationship will be like a verruca that won’t go away. Sounds like everyone has watched ‘Caligula’ too many times.

Shania Twain, country singer did this. Her ex left her for her BFF. She ended up marrying ex BFF's ex husband.

I also know of 2 couples where this happened with children from both of the original marriages in the same year at school. Apparently it all worked very amicably with joint Christmases and holidays.

It doesn't need to be a disaster if the grownups manage to put aside grudges.

Was just thinking that this is the Shania Twain life story! Second husband was an upgrade too.

I think this is more common than you realise - brought together by a shared experience and found comfort, also being the ones cheated on mean they’re both less likely to be the cheat.

I reckon this happens more often than you think

Well this happened in my tiny village in the 1980s, you can imagine the scandal at the time. Both families had a son and a daughter who were already friends, so they neatly moved into each others houses, one house with the two girls and one with the boys. They went on holidays all together, were all totally happy with the situation, and the couples are still together 40 years later. So yes, it can work out beautifully!

Firstly, the cheating exes aren’t entitled to be furious or have any opinion at all! Not been in exactly this situation but did end up in a relationship with the ex of the person my ex husband had just started dating and eventually married. At the point we met I was not aware of the connection or who my husband was dating. It obviously needs a bit of navigating and the fact they got talking due to the circumstances could be concerning but it’s really up to them. My main worry would be that she remains in the relationship even if it’s not working as some sort of ‘up yours’ to her ex so just keep an eye out of that and be there for her if it goes wrong, which it could no matter who she had started a relationship with soon after the break up.

Think my money is on your friend's relationship lasting whilst her ex's and OW peters out

I know a very similar story and the “cheated on” couple are still going strong 30yrs later, while the original H and OW fizzled out after a couple of years.

It happens 🤷‍♀️

I know of a situation exactly like this, although with a slightly older child, happening right now. Funny old world.

I'd not offer my opinion, OP. You won't be thanked for it.

There's only one child, so it shouldn't be too confusing for him - it would have been much worse if both couples had children. Apart from that, who knows, they might live happily ever after, they might not, it's her life, leave her to it.

The situation has the potential to be a shit storm but equally after a rocky start, it could pan out to be OK. Unfortunately, no one knows what's likely to happen. Presumably you have voiced your concern and your friend has reassured you that she's happy and all is well? If this is the case, then say no more. You've said your piece, you can't protect your friend from potentially becoming hurt again. Just be there with tissues, a tub of ice-cream, a bottle of wine and a listening ear, if it should all go pear shaped. There's no more you can do.

Well on the positive side, the two cheats are unhappy. Karma!

Well, it worked out OK for Shania Twain and her now husband in the end.

My parents knew two brothers who effectively swapped wives after one had an affair with the other. They all remained close and used to socialise together etc. Weird, but it apparently worked for them.

In this case, it kind of serves the affair couple right if they're annoyed by their respective spouses getting together. There's a sort of justice in it! And if your friend seems happy, then I would leave well alone.

Your friend is old enough to make her own mistakes, and this may not be one.
As a friend, the best thing you can do is support her decisions.

When I was a kid I had a friend whose DF was married to the exwife of her DM’s husband. All got on fine!

i think that whatever we or you think about this relationship will not matter to your friend… and at the end of the day it’s up to her.
Could work out for her or might not, so just carry on being a caring friend, as that’s all you can do.

It’s a bit rich for the OW and exH to be cross about it.
I don’t think a 4 year old will be particularly bothered as long as the adults involved are all being reasonable and grown up (ha!) about it.

Wow. That’s an eastenders episode

It may well have nightmare written all over it. It may well end well. My parents met within a week of their first divorces. They were happily married for 25 years before they split, and that was a pretty amicable split.

I don't think you should interfere.

You asked if anybody had any experience of , weirdly, yes, I do, it was many many years ago now and the children involved would now be in their 40's.

We knew both couples before the affair and the children knew each other. I lost touch with them years ago after moving overseas but until that point everything had gone well for them, all the children were all happy moving between the two houses and still having regular contact with both the actual parents and their step parents.

The children also got on really well together & as both sets of parents had similar standards and ways of life, there really wasn't much to get up in arms about.

My friend from school had this exact situation with her parents when she was 11, but there were more kids involved. I remember we all found it so strange. Her parents had her and her brother, her mum had an affair with a married man with 3 kids. Then her dad got together with her mum's affair partners wife. The 5 kids were suddenly step brothers and sisters moving between the same 2 houses all the time.

I haven't seen her for years but as far as I know the mum split up with her partner, but her dad is still with the other woman. It was weird at the time but it actually didn't seem to cause her any lasting damage.