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Original poster

Not to spectate while Husband runs the London Marathon

187 replies

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 15:39

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
SocksShmocks · 22/04/2025 16:59

If you change your mind, I helped out a mile 20 (Poplar) water station a couple of years ago and that seemed like a good place to be. Not too busy but enough atmosphere. This article suggests mile 21 is a good spot.

www.timeout.com/london/things-to-do/where-to-watch-the-london-marathon

TreeDudette · 22/04/2025 16:58

Nope - you can't watch him run, you can stand for 4 hours and watch him pass you once. I'd watch him start and then meet him afterwards. My DP runs and that's how I do it..

BobbyBiscuits · 22/04/2025 16:58

Do you need to plot in several locations across the route, at the exact time he's running past, wave a flag at him, then get into a taxi to move to the next location?! Or you're expected to walk the marathon yourself on the sidelines?

What you propose sounds totally reasonable. If your friends are so anti it then maybe they should come and cheer him on themselves.

You'll be at the start and finish, surely that's enough?
You could have time to do something interesting in between. If you and DH are happy then that's all that matters.

afig · 22/04/2025 16:57

OP, YANBU! Do what feels right for you. Your husband knows you support him. Not every runner cares if there's someone physically standing there to cheer them on, because it's something they're doing for themselves because they want to. It's enough to know you've supported them every day leading up to the run.

mamajong · 22/04/2025 16:56

Yanbu, you know your husband and your relationship, ignore what everyone else thinks

Upstartled · 22/04/2025 16:56

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:48

What's wrong with having a nice walk around with a pastry and enjoy some time to myself? We've not had a minute, literally, to ourselves since my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 3 months ago. It is relentless, managing his levels day and night. This is the first time we are going away since the diagnosis (extensive training having been given to my lovely parents - but we will still worry the whole weekend) - I'm sorry I don't want to stand in a small space with loads of other people to try and catch a glimpse of him.
Even without my above 'sob story', I'm genuinely curious as to why you need strength because someone wants to do something else to you? Am I not supporting him by going with him?

Show quote history

Well, you know, if he doesn't have someone shadowing him around London to yell his own name at him and support him in his effort to elevate his own hobby to a hero's quest with some serious main character energy - does he even know he's run a marathon?

Uppitymuppity · 22/04/2025 16:54

I'm with you op, especially given you've seen him run many times from the sounds of it. I've never enjoyed running and never been interested in others running nor the marathon, I think I'd hate standing about watching people run past, maybe I'm not cultured enough. Id get the coffee and enjoy your mooch about.

alphabetcrayons · 22/04/2025 16:54

OP I’m in a husband and wife running relationship, I’m the runner - I wouldn’t mind one bit if DH did his own thing on race day and I went to find him later. It can be quite stressful as a spectator - I remember running Manchester marathon one year and he tram-hopped to try and follow me and missed me by minutes at every stop 🤣
I hope you both enjoy your weekend!

AgileEagle · 22/04/2025 16:54

I wouldn't bother with the start its so busy, stay in bed then transfer luggage to hotel.
I'd pick a point easily accessible to where 2nd hotel is and grab a coffee and go for a look. If he sees you great, if not it's a nice atmosphere anyway.
My dh runs, he's done a few marathons I've never been. But if I was travelling with him I'd probably go for a look.

Shouldntbutdo · 22/04/2025 16:54

Marathon runners are in general very selfish people. Take off for hours a day “training”, just suiting themselves. Who has time for that?! You should be selfish too! It’s not an achievement, we could all do it if we had the time to commit to training. It’s all for self-glorification. Don’t watch

Ponderingwindow · 22/04/2025 16:54

You are already supporting his hobby by making the spending the money, engaging in the travel, no doubt getting up ridiculously early so he can get to the race start, transporting the luggage, switching hotels during a brief stay, and having the weekend primarily focus on his needs. Standing on the side of the road isn’t a necessity. You can spend your free time however you wish.

HundredMilesAnHour · 22/04/2025 16:53

I live in London and have never had an issue spotting friends who are running the marathon. Just pick an area that isn’t completely rammed such as Canary Wharf (the bonus being there are also lots of shops, coffee places and toilets plus good transport connections). If you go to the Wharf, I’d recommend a pastry and coffee to take away from Ole & Steen and then find a spot by the waterside in the sun. Track your runner on the app and you’ll know approx when you need to be roadside (and then you’ve done your duty and can carry on ‘pastry eating’). I live very close to the marathon route (to the extent that I won’t be able to use my car this weekend as I’m trapped by closed off roads - some of the barriers are already up when I was driving at lunchtime today). It’s certainly an experience, unlike any other running event I’ve been to (and there’s been quite a few!).

broccolienthusiast · 22/04/2025 16:51

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:48

What's wrong with having a nice walk around with a pastry and enjoy some time to myself? We've not had a minute, literally, to ourselves since my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 3 months ago. It is relentless, managing his levels day and night. This is the first time we are going away since the diagnosis (extensive training having been given to my lovely parents - but we will still worry the whole weekend) - I'm sorry I don't want to stand in a small space with loads of other people to try and catch a glimpse of him.
Even without my above 'sob story', I'm genuinely curious as to why you need strength because someone wants to do something else to you? Am I not supporting him by going with him?

Show quote history

Ignore it OP. Maybe if it was his first ever marathon that would be different, but the guy is a regular marathon runner. It’s seriously not that big of a deal

HorrorFan81 · 22/04/2025 16:51

user1471548941 · 22/04/2025 16:09

London on marathon day is like nothing else, it is so so emotional. The crowd is why- several times it’s been the cheer of a total random that has kept me going and it’s also an absolute spectacle- all the charity runners and fancy dress. Total magic. Knowing your family are waiting at mile 19 or whatever is such a special thing.

But you’re on your own which makes it harder and much less fun as a spectator. I also think marathon day means you will struggle to find a nice quiet spot for a coffee and pastry- it takes over the entire city!

So I think you need to be flexible. As PP says, there is no way you will get near the start with him- so many closed roads etc and only runners allowed through. He will also need to be at the start hours before he actually starts.

So I would say wave him off in the morning from your hotel and enjoy a lie in and your nice coffee and pastry without leaving the hotel. Once you’re ready to go with the luggage, head off to that hotel and find a spot to spectate fairly near the finish. The non river side of the Embankment can be less rammed and it’s a lovely point to see people- near the finish but absolutely in the pain cave. A lovely place for a hug if you’re in need of one at that point! Give him a good cheer and walk to the finish to meet him whereever you agree!

I would totally do this

My DH has done several marathons and an Ironman and it massively helps him when he sees me (and sometimes the kids) cheering him on

Pentimenti · 22/04/2025 16:49

TimeToMixItUp3 · 22/04/2025 16:42

Go watch him run! Or someone else! Support your husband. Wander around with a pastry, give me strength.

Yeah, because the OP exists solely to be her DH’s support human.🙄

Original poster
SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 16:48

TimeToMixItUp3 · 22/04/2025 16:42

Go watch him run! Or someone else! Support your husband. Wander around with a pastry, give me strength.

What's wrong with having a nice walk around with a pastry and enjoy some time to myself? We've not had a minute, literally, to ourselves since my son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 3 months ago. It is relentless, managing his levels day and night. This is the first time we are going away since the diagnosis (extensive training having been given to my lovely parents - but we will still worry the whole weekend) - I'm sorry I don't want to stand in a small space with loads of other people to try and catch a glimpse of him.
Even without my above 'sob story', I'm genuinely curious as to why you need strength because someone wants to do something else to you? Am I not supporting him by going with him?

OP posts:
ApathyMartha · 22/04/2025 16:46

Use the tracker. If he’s anywhere by where you are see if you can get near enough to wave.

ButterCrackers · 22/04/2025 16:44

Enjoy your day after moving the luggage. Meet him at the end when he’s finished the race.

Rocketpants50 · 22/04/2025 16:44

No go enjoy yourself. I have said to DH if he ever does another London Marathon that I will never come watch again. It was horrendous, the crowds, public transport was heaving. Was difficult to even see in places. Nope if husband isn't bothered I would go find a nice quiet spot somewhere a long way from marathon route.

the5percentclub · 22/04/2025 16:44

Your plan is fine! If you do want to watch for a bit - I managed to see my daughter well around the 22 mile mark, on the long straight road whose name I can't remember, then got the tube to the finish where we met her. Husband ran around more to other places. She appreciated seeing us nearer the end as this is when they're more likely to feel exhausted/emotional, and it was nice to see her, hear some of the pomp and support (steel bands etc along the way). We still had a fantastic coffee near the start, and ambled about - your husband will be faster no doubt but it was a lovely day. Do you two! (Am very proud that dd was only just 18, one of the youngest in it!)

TimeToMixItUp3 · 22/04/2025 16:42

Go watch him run! Or someone else! Support your husband. Wander around with a pastry, give me strength.

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2025 16:41

SaveAHorseRideAHighlander · 22/04/2025 15:39

I'll keep it as short and sweet as possible -
We are going to London for the weekend as DH is running the London Marathon, just the two of us going without the kids. Have a hotel booked near the start line on the first night, then another hotel near the finish on the second night.

My plan is to walk down to the start with him, wave him off, then take the luggage across to the second hotel (early check in arranged), drop the bag off, then have a lovely little wander by myself, get a nice pastry and coffee etc. I'd then meet him at the bottom corner of St James park when he finishes.
My friend thinks I'm being unreasonable for not picking a spot along the way/making my way direct to the end and waiting for him to pass by.
My thoughts are, he'll be busy concentrating on running, he's not overly emotional so I don't think he'll care (he's agreed to the plan!), and apart from when he's running we'll be spending a lovely weekend together.

So hit me, am I being unreasonable?

It's a nightmare following them around and trying to spot them

Waving them off and being at the finish is fine

Hwi · 22/04/2025 16:40

Don't be silly - he is enjoying his marathon, you enjoy your time. You are not his dog!

Soontobesingles · 22/04/2025 16:37

OP what you are doing is fine. Enjoy your weekend.

CautiousLurker01 · 22/04/2025 16:36

If you’ve seen him run loads of times before and he’s happy with being waved off, then go and get a pastry and enjoy the atmosphere. The London tri was on a few weeks ago - there was a rock choir near St. Thomas’s and other events along the route. The weather was glorious and it was just lovely to walk along the South Bank. I assume you’ve come with him to ‘make a weekend of it’, rather than to cheer him on specifically, so I’d book a great restaurant and look forward to that once he’s showered up.