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AIBU?

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Argued with husband in front of our friends

87 replies

JessicaJJ · 22/04/2025 14:59

I am at my wits ends with my husband. We’ve both taken today off of work to give us a long weekend with with the BH, and met up with another couple we are friends with who have done the same for a walk and nice lunch. He usually works long hours M-F and is often working away so today was the first time he has done the school run since September. I am not joking when I tell you this is a conversation he had in front of all of us:

H friend - I bet you are glad you survived the school run
H - you never told me there was a new headteacher
H friend - what do you mean?
H - I’ve not seen tits like that since the sun stopped doing page three
H - If I’d have known before, I’d be doing the drop offs every morning

I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.

We’ve been home an hour now and he is still sulking saying I should have waited until we travelled home to bring this up. I disagree and think these sort of comments should be called out there and then.

He thinks I have had a sense of humour failure…

OP posts:
NCForThatForumM · 22/04/2025 19:05

derogatory comments about women

Complimentary comments, you mean.

Lorlorlorikeet · 22/04/2025 19:01

Who are these pathetic guttersnipe men? Making comments about a headteacher’s ‘tits’. Jesus. Men like that need wiping out. It’s 20-fucking-25.

sweetpickle2 · 22/04/2025 18:09

There have been so many posts recently where the OP's partner or husband says the most vile misogynistic shit, and it never exists in a vacuum.

If he's saying that in front of you, imagine what he's saying when you can't hear him. Gross.

AutumnLeaves24 · 22/04/2025 18:07

I'm tired. Very very tired.

I probably would've just said great, that means you can do all the school runs when you are home brilliant!!

Cucy · 22/04/2025 18:07

I think his comments were inappropriate but you ripping into him, turning it into an argument and making your friends feel uncomfortable was worse.

I would have said that’s “not appropriate” and changed the conversation to carry on enjoying the lunch with my friend.
Then I would have waited until afterwards and said what I needed to say.

WickWood · 22/04/2025 18:05

God, there are loads of threads like this lately of adult, fully grown males making rude and derogatory comments about women to their partner. I honestly do not understand. Why would he think that's an okay thing to say to you, with or without friends being present? I just cannot imagine any universe in which my partner would make a comment about a woman's body/looks to me. I'm sorry, its honestly insane.

JessicaJJ · 22/04/2025 18:01

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:58

Call him out on his behaviour and language toward women, yes…but you don’t need to make a scene. Roles reversed and you said something your husband didn’t like, would he have done this to you. I guarantee if you did there would be calls of LTB.

both ABU in this scenario.

I would contest it being a scene - I firmly made clear my feelings on his comments. No screaming or shouting.

OP posts:
Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:58

Call him out on his behaviour and language toward women, yes…but you don’t need to make a scene. Roles reversed and you said something your husband didn’t like, would he have done this to you. I guarantee if you did there would be calls of LTB.

both ABU in this scenario.

ginasevern · 22/04/2025 17:56

ohyesido · 22/04/2025 17:24

My DH has never had the poor grace to say anything like this in front of me, and I am confident that he wouldn’t think like this because he’s not a creepy sleaze.

Sadly I think you'll find that even the nicest men think about women's tits before their academic qualifications.

Ohmeohmygoodness · 22/04/2025 17:55

dogcatkitten · 22/04/2025 15:16

I was thinking the same: 'Have you seen the new swimming teacher he's hung like a horse, talk about budgie smugglers more like turkeys'

Why is it when someone behaves in a gross and disgusting way, or says something offensive, as OP's H did, some people think it's clever to sink to the same level?

What he said about this woman head teacher was inappropriate. So how would OP saying something inappropriate about one of the male teachers make her anything other than some one who deserves to be married to a sexist pig?

Mrsphilmiller · 22/04/2025 17:48

restbite · 22/04/2025 15:09

I would divorce my husband if he said that

No you wouldn’t! 🫤

ohyesido · 22/04/2025 17:24

ginasevern · 22/04/2025 16:38

Men make these sorts of comments all the time but most manage not to do it when their wives are around. Most posters will imagine that their husbands would never (cluthing pearls) dream of uttering such sexist, disrespectful shit in a million years - but I bet they do - and if they're not saying it, they're certainly thinking it. Things will never change but you were absolutely right to shame him in front of everyone. Just don't have any more kids with him and consider whether you want your child brought up with his influence.

My DH has never had the poor grace to say anything like this in front of me, and I am confident that he wouldn’t think like this because he’s not a creepy sleaze.

Somethingsnapped · 22/04/2025 17:07

Show him this thread, op!

outerspacepotato · 22/04/2025 17:04

Another day ending in Y, another disgusting man making horrible sexist misogynistic remarks about a woman to all and sundry and sulking like a bratty kid when he's called out.

UndermyShoeJoe · 22/04/2025 17:00

ginasevern · 22/04/2025 16:38

Men make these sorts of comments all the time but most manage not to do it when their wives are around. Most posters will imagine that their husbands would never (cluthing pearls) dream of uttering such sexist, disrespectful shit in a million years - but I bet they do - and if they're not saying it, they're certainly thinking it. Things will never change but you were absolutely right to shame him in front of everyone. Just don't have any more kids with him and consider whether you want your child brought up with his influence.

I agree but most have the decency to be pigs in their own heads and not at a child’s school.

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 22/04/2025 16:59

It’s good you called him out in front of your friends. I hope he’s embarrassed.

Reflectionsreflections · 22/04/2025 16:50

Instant ick. I think a lot of men notice breasts. But most of them aren’t stupid enough to discuss other people “tits” in front of their wife. Thick and misogynistic is not particularly appealing is it?

Milosc · 22/04/2025 16:48

This is just disgusting behavior. Please don't let the we forgot you were there narrative to sway you. Decent men don't talk like that about women ever. Your H sounds like a misogynistic pig.

jolota · 22/04/2025 16:43

I would usually be on the side of don't make everyone else in the room uncomfortable by getting carried away with your relationship issues in public but that isn't what this is at all.
He made a horrible comment misogynistic comment and absolutely deserved to be called out in the moment about it.
In the process he also disrespected you, which is something that requires further consideration at a different time particularly if its an ongoing issue.

ginasevern · 22/04/2025 16:38

Men make these sorts of comments all the time but most manage not to do it when their wives are around. Most posters will imagine that their husbands would never (cluthing pearls) dream of uttering such sexist, disrespectful shit in a million years - but I bet they do - and if they're not saying it, they're certainly thinking it. Things will never change but you were absolutely right to shame him in front of everyone. Just don't have any more kids with him and consider whether you want your child brought up with his influence.

Ellie1015 · 22/04/2025 16:37

Sulking??? Sulk right back at him then. He should be apologising for being inappropriate and embarrassing himself and also embarrassing you.

ohyesido · 22/04/2025 16:37

I cannot imagine a grown man saying such things

JessicaJJ · 22/04/2025 16:19

Sulu17 · 22/04/2025 16:09

What is your DH like otherwise, OP? I'm sorry but someone who speaks like that is not respectful of women at all.

Generally fine and a good husband, but he knows I disapprove of such crude and disrespectful comments about other women and it’s not the first time he has done it, just never in front of our friends.

OP posts:
Sulu17 · 22/04/2025 16:09

What is your DH like otherwise, OP? I'm sorry but someone who speaks like that is not respectful of women at all.

Crikeyalmighty · 22/04/2025 16:08

What did his friends wife think - is she ok with her H speaking like that ?

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