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Original poster

Argued with husband in front of our friends

87 replies

JessicaJJ · 22/04/2025 14:59

I am at my wits ends with my husband. We’ve both taken today off of work to give us a long weekend with with the BH, and met up with another couple we are friends with who have done the same for a walk and nice lunch. He usually works long hours M-F and is often working away so today was the first time he has done the school run since September. I am not joking when I tell you this is a conversation he had in front of all of us:

H friend - I bet you are glad you survived the school run
H - you never told me there was a new headteacher
H friend - what do you mean?
H - I’ve not seen tits like that since the sun stopped doing page three
H - If I’d have known before, I’d be doing the drop offs every morning

I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.

We’ve been home an hour now and he is still sulking saying I should have waited until we travelled home to bring this up. I disagree and think these sort of comments should be called out there and then.

He thinks I have had a sense of humour failure…

OP posts:
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Crikeyalmighty · 23/04/2025 15:05

@PrincessOfPreschool yep I misread OPs post !!

BlueSpikeyPearls · 23/04/2025 13:34

He is vile. He is disrespectful to the teacher, to you, to his friend's wife. I certain hope you don't have a daughter, because she would learn from her father's attitude that her only "value" lies in her looks.

I also disagree that he is a good husband. A good husband doesn't show such blatant disrespect towards the woman he claims to love. Imagine if you discussed another man's looks in such crude terms. He would blow a gasket.

DramaQueenlady · 23/04/2025 11:10

Doubt I'd divorce him! Hopefully this was a one of. Let him come out of his huff. Sounds like he his mortified and was probably just trying to be funny. Obviously not. But just move on if this is not normally how he acts.

restbite · 23/04/2025 11:05

Mrsphilmiller · 22/04/2025 17:48

No you wouldn’t! 🫤

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of course I would if he is fancying another woman, ffs

NCForThatForumM · 23/04/2025 08:58

Doubt he’d find it funny if OP said something

Pretty sure he would find it funny, most blokes would.

phoenixrosehere · 23/04/2025 08:55

Cucy · 22/04/2025 19:59

The thread title literally says - argued with DH in front of friends.

And so for that, yes I think what OP did was worse.

You can say somethings inappropriate and then have an argument about it later on.
You don’t need to make everyone feel uncomfortable and ruin the situation over it.

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It takes two people to argue. He could have apologised instead of doubling down and saying it was just a joke. How is it a joke? What about it was funny?

Doesn’t read like he considered why his wife had issue with what he said only that his wife embarrassed him over his “joke”.

Doubt he’d find it funny if OP said something similar, especially since she usually does the school run.

Notmyrealname22 · 23/04/2025 08:39

He spoke like that to his mate in front of you & his mates wife and is upset that YOU didn’t keep quiet until you got home? What a twat! Well done, I would have ripped into him too. That is disgusting and disrespectful to you and the Head Teacher. I can’t swear that my DH would not say that if I wasn’t around (I don’t think so but you never really know), but there is no way in hell that he would say it in front of me.

Evaka · 23/04/2025 06:02

I can't believe what I'm reading. What an utter pig.

PrincessOfPreschool · 23/04/2025 05:22

Crikeyalmighty · 22/04/2025 16:08

What did his friends wife think - is she ok with her H speaking like that ?

I don't think friend's dh said anything wrong in the conversation above.

Runnerinthenight · 23/04/2025 02:24

You are married to a sex pest mysogynist wanker.

caringcarer · 23/04/2025 02:13

He sounds gross. Was he doing it to show off in front of your friends? I'd be telling him yes, he is welcome to take DC to school everyday.

suburberphobe · 23/04/2025 01:21

I hope you don't have daughters OP....

Jeschara · 23/04/2025 01:13

Glad you pulled him on it. I find his attitude vile and disgusting. He has no respect for you either to say something like that in front of you. This is not a joke.
I would not like a man like that to be a role model to my children. I would have lost all respect for him.

PomanderDelight · 23/04/2025 00:57

Good for you for pulling him up on vile comments. Of course he doesn’t like it

Eenameenadeeka · 23/04/2025 00:25

Insane that he thinks he has any right to be annoyed at you in this situation. You said you ripped into him so I'm not sure what your words were, but I can't see how he thinks you were the problem here. If you started an argument about something else, like criticism of his driving abilities or why it took him so long to get ready or something trivial, in front of friends, sure you'd be the one in the wrong. But he was openly disrespectful about the head teacher and disrespectful of your marriage right in front of you, he doesn't get to be the victim.

outerspacepotato · 22/04/2025 21:37

The more these misogynists are called out on the spot and they don't get away with lewd, horrid remarks, the less they'll try that garbage. Think of it as OP pointing out the crudeness of her husband's lewd and offensive language around others and thus making people more comfortable.

minipie · 22/04/2025 21:14

You don’t need to make everyone feel uncomfortable

Suspect everyone already felt uncomfortable due to what the DH said

Milosc · 22/04/2025 20:08

The OP was completely in the right to address it right then and there. So fucking what if it made him and the friends uncomfortable. He is the one who thought is was okay to talk about the head teachers tits in front of his wife and friends. He made it uncomfortable by being a disgusting human being. He caused the problem and he can live with the repercussions. None of this oh just ignore it and have a quiet word later will help the situation. The more this behavior is ignored the worse it gets. Expect better and call-out the shit behavior on the spot. There are so many on here with a very low bar.

Cucy · 22/04/2025 19:59

cocoloco23 · 22/04/2025 19:48

You genuinely think the OP calling her H out was worse than the disgusting way he spoke about his child’s teacher???

She didn’t turn it into an argument - he said something insulting and inflammatory which she responded to.

And as per her update - at least one of the friends was made uncomfortable by the husband, not by the OP. As I would have been.

It’s 2025. We don’t have to put up with men viewing us as objects any more. We have the option to call it out.

Edited
Show quote history

The thread title literally says - argued with DH in front of friends.

And so for that, yes I think what OP did was worse.

You can say somethings inappropriate and then have an argument about it later on.
You don’t need to make everyone feel uncomfortable and ruin the situation over it.

cocoloco23 · 22/04/2025 19:48

Cucy · 22/04/2025 18:07

I think his comments were inappropriate but you ripping into him, turning it into an argument and making your friends feel uncomfortable was worse.

I would have said that’s “not appropriate” and changed the conversation to carry on enjoying the lunch with my friend.
Then I would have waited until afterwards and said what I needed to say.

You genuinely think the OP calling her H out was worse than the disgusting way he spoke about his child’s teacher???

She didn’t turn it into an argument - he said something insulting and inflammatory which she responded to.

And as per her update - at least one of the friends was made uncomfortable by the husband, not by the OP. As I would have been.

It’s 2025. We don’t have to put up with men viewing us as objects any more. We have the option to call it out.

Lindererer32 · 22/04/2025 19:38

You are married to a juvenile pig.

DissDissOrDiss · 22/04/2025 19:36

I have zero problem with a man finding a woman attractive (and vice versa). First and secondary sexual organs are there for a reason. We all got eyes and a libido.

One keeps one’s baser thoughts to oneself out of respect for the object of desire and one’s partner. I would have done EXACTLY as you did.

LillyPJ · 22/04/2025 19:30

You were quite right not to wait until you were home. We should stand up to this kind of sexism in public as and when it happens and if DH was embarrassed about being pulled up for it, so what. Now he knows it's not acceptable.

Boreded · 22/04/2025 19:27

Boreded · 22/04/2025 19:26

‘I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.’

Sounds like a scene based on your first post. Apologies if it was not, you may have just not been making a scene on this thread when you wrote it

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And I guess my only point I’m trying to make is that if you posted

‘he ripped into me at this point, I was bright red and said i was joking. He didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for him.’

then we would be getting told it was an abusive relationship and to get out fast.

Boreded · 22/04/2025 19:26

JessicaJJ · 22/04/2025 18:01

I would contest it being a scene - I firmly made clear my feelings on his comments. No screaming or shouting.

Show quote history

‘I ripped into him at this point, he went bright red and said he was joking. I didn’t care that our friends were there, this was so disrespectful and humiliating for me.’

Sounds like a scene based on your first post. Apologies if it was not, you may have just not been making a scene on this thread when you wrote it