Should I be made to feel guilty for this?

I'm very glad that's the case for you, and others you know. I know a couple of military children who have very poor relationships with their dads, although it's obviously impossible to know whether that would have been the case even if their dads hadn't been away for a lot of their childhoods.

Sorry, but I was a military child and this is a load of codswallop!! I’m now over 50 and in perfectly good working order mentally, as are all my old friends. I had a fantastic childhood, living in amazing places and my dad went away a lot. It had no impact on me at all 😀

"Mentally damaged" is absolutely not the phrase I'd use, but I do think spending so much time away from one of their parents will have a negative impact on their mental health, yes.

But do you think children of the armed forces etc are mentally damaged?

My mum wouldn't of gone on holiday without me. Infact she didn't ever leave me alone.
I have crippling anxiety due to it. I feel like I've been babied for a long time and infact struggle to do anything for myself
(Was made to go food shopping until 15) not allowed to be left home alone under any circumstances and as it was only her in the house, I had to go with her.
I'd definitely say a few days with dad would teach much more independence

The problem with the opposite position to mine is that kids grow up and away and too many people find themselves with no identity and no idea what to do with themselves. It also, if taken too far, can give the kids an unhealthy sense of being the absolute priority always and never experience not being top of the list. In the end it's just an opinion and others are valid, but that's how I see it.

Why is it okay for you to choose to spend time away from your kids, because you want to, but not okay for someone to choose not to spend time away from their kids (when they're not at work/school), because they don't want to? Can't both those things be okay?

I genuinely enjoy spending time with my kids but it doesn't have to be ALL of my time, and being away from them is not an indication that I don't enjoy them. It's unhealthy to become so subsumed in your parenting role that you can't / won't do anything else.

Wow really? You really can't imagine a person who happens to be a parent not wanting to take a little time out to just be "x" and not "mum"? Especially, as you say when that person is single parenting most of the time? It's absolutely fine to do this once in a while provided childcare is in place. So long as the child doesn't go without as a result, that's fine and actually, sometimes it is ok for single parents to put themselves first occasionally.

He sounds jealous.

I’m sure he would never ever think to go away, even just for a weekend, without his DD 🙄

I am a single mum. I have often done things such as girls weekends away without my sons but we have done great holidays together as well. They are 16 and 18 and clearly like it that I have friends and funny stories and things to say and generally a life of my own although they are the most important thing in my life. Fine to go on holiday with bf as long as they are well looked after with grandma and let them know you are looking forward to the holiday with them as well.
With the dad as he has had a non molestation order against him he is clearly not a reasonable person so I wouldn’t ask him for anything of this nature ever again. Either go for shorter time periods eg long weekend or just make sure grandma can help. Not a criticism at all but just saying as I have been through similar with my children’s dad and they don’t change or have any interest in parenting their children if it means the children’s mum might have time to better her career/ go on holiday/ get some rest bite etc.

Don’t feel guilty. His opinion means nothing. Mentally file it away in a box in your mind, and then visualise throwing it off a cliff.

Go and enjoy your holiday, and bring the kids back something nice.

She's not being a martyr if she genuinely enjoys spending time with her children!

Nothing wrong with going away for 7 days if your daughter is happy for you to go and happy to spend the 7 days with him or your mum. Then nothing to feel guilty about

Ask your mum to save the dates regardless so your ex letting you down can't scupper your holiday.

Ah, someone else who's unable to disagree with someone without resorting to claims of 'nonsense'.

I agree one week is not a long period of time; my comment to HappySheldon was not regarding the OP's situation.

But that's not what I said, or what HappySheldon was referring to as nonsensical.

I never claimed that leaving a child for a week would lead to mental health issues; that was another poster. And HappySheldon said: "Criticising a mother who leaves her child with the other parent because of a mere week long holiday is nonsensical."

Now what was that you said about outlandish claims being nonsensical and unhelpful?

You wouldn't leave your teenagers for a week with their dad or grandparents? Why on earth not? Do you like being a martyr?!

Go and enjoy time away with your partner OP. Ask your mum to have the younger DD. He’s emotionally abusing you, ignore him.

Don’t then.

Well this isn’t about you so who cares!

So all the children of people in the armed services or in the foreign office or whatever other job that takes them away - all of them are damaging their children? Don't talk nonsense.

And in any case - one week is not 'long periods of time'. It's one short period of time. An 11 year has the capacity to understand.

Sorry but it is nonsensical to suggest that a parent going away for a week will cause mh issues, you cannot say this without knowing all the details and every child is different.

Agreeing to disagree is one thing but making outlandish claims is nonsensical and unhelpful (in my opinion 😉)