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Original poster

This amount of Easter eggs

236 replies

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 10:49

To get straight into it - I get my children 10 Easter eggs each every Easter .

When I started it years ago , it was very cheap. I don’t get the huge ones . Years ago I could get one or 2 big ( the ones that are now medium ) and then the little ones ( they had more packaging and more in them ) and I would spend £20.

It all stems from my son’s autism , he is a young adult now. I’ve always said that birthday and Christmas is at least 10 presents and 10 eggs at Easter . It’s usually more at Christmas but it has became a security thing - he knows he’s getting at least 10 presents ( he does not care about the price , he’s not spoiled . I could get his main present and then 9 things from the pound shop ) .

I have had comments about it being too much . I don’t get gifts and balloon arches or anything like that. My youngest never eats them all , he barely touches them and we eat a lot of them 🤣 but I can’t get him less. Usually at the end of half term we melt the uneaten eggs and make cakes - so that’s an activity for a day of the holidays - , the uneaten chocolates all end up in a box for anyone to have.

For info - this is what I spent.

I got 2 of the “ 2 for £9” eggs , the bigger ones. So they have one each of those. Usually I get some medium and some small but as the small were £1.50 ( and I left it late so couldn’t find any anyway) but the medium were £2.30 in Asda I didn’t bother with the small. So I then got 4 for £12 ( 2 each ) then they had 7 each of the £2.30 ones . I spent £53 in total , so £26.50 each . Usually it’s less as I grab the smaller ones when they’re on offer in Morrisons , it just happened that I left it late this year.

Yes, it’s a lot on chocolate . But I see people getting hampers and balloons etc .

Is this really over the top ?

OP posts:
42isthemeaning · 22/04/2025 15:37

I have two diagnosed autistic dc - both young adults - I get it op. Ignore those who judge and do what works for you in your family. 😊

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:30

Extiainoiapeial · 22/04/2025 15:22

No. You don't have to change your opinion. Very very few people have said you should change what you are doing... just tweak it a bit maybe. There's been a lot of helpful suggestions on that. Of course you don't have to tweak anything if you don't want to.

Your thread is like you are deliberately wanting people to disagree with you.

As for your examples of what other 18 yo's do... when mine were that age they did none of those things you list! Literally, none, they were the same as your son in not drinking, vaping, smoking whatever

Really, hardly anyone is disagreeing with you!

We can say it is extravagent, but you are the one with an autistic son, not us, and it suits you and your family. You are just doing what works

There have been lots of really supportive posts , I’m just replying to those who have asked why I posted if I wasn’t going to change anything . I don’t want people to disagree , I’m just answering those that do with my reasons , there have been comments saying I’m not willing to take suggestions on board so why post and I’m just responding to that to say - I never had any intention of changing it in the first place .

There have been lots of lovely and helpful suggestions on how to break the pattern , it’s just that I’m not wanting to break the pattern , that’s all x

OP posts:
Extiainoiapeial · 22/04/2025 15:22

No. You don't have to change your opinion. Very very few people have said you should change what you are doing... just tweak it a bit maybe. There's been a lot of helpful suggestions on that. Of course you don't have to tweak anything if you don't want to.

Your thread is like you are deliberately wanting people to disagree with you.

As for your examples of what other 18 yo's do... when mine were that age they did none of those things you list! Literally, none, they were the same as your son in not drinking, vaping, smoking whatever

Really, hardly anyone is disagreeing with you!

We can say it is extravagent, but you are the one with an autistic son, not us, and it suits you and your family. You are just doing what works

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:12

Extiainoiapeial · 22/04/2025 15:06

But why ask the question and start a thread if you have no intention of changing anything and it suits you, and him?
I don't get it.

Show quote history

So if I ask if people agree with something and they don’t , I have to change my opinion ?

I didn’t think it was extravagant. I have had IRL comments that it is. I put a post up to see if others thought it was extravagant… in terms of is this the norm , do people get the same amount. I just wanted to see what other people thought - I never had any intention of changing anything , if I did I would have asked advice and I didn’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:10

saveforthat · 22/04/2025 15:07

Why ask for opinions on here then? Just crack on.

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I didn’t ask opinions on what I do and if I should be doing it or advice on how to cut down etc . I simply asked if other people thought this was extravagant.

I haven’t responded to people by arguing that it’s not extravagant - clearly , the general consensus is that it is and I didn’t think that it was .

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:08

I would also like to add to this - think of his age , he is a young adult ( 18 ) .

How many 18+ year olds go out on a weekly basis and spend £25 ( or more ) on alcohol ? How many grown adults go out and spend triple that on alcohol - way more than the recommended amount - on one night? And do this regularly ? How many adults spend £20 on a bottle of wine that lasts them a night ? How many adults smoke and spend £50 a week on cigarettes , how many young adults vape and spend their money on that ?

He does none of this , he doesn’t drink , he doesn’t smoke , he doesn’t vape . Is 10 Easter eggs once a year really worse than all this ?

Even if he ate them all over a few weeks - is £25 once a year on chocolate - and then a binge - really a big thing ?

OP posts:
saveforthat · 22/04/2025 15:07

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:04

But , why? What would it serve ? If I don’t mind doing it and it makes him happy - why change it?

Show quote history

Why ask for opinions on here then? Just crack on.

Extiainoiapeial · 22/04/2025 15:06

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:04

But , why? What would it serve ? If I don’t mind doing it and it makes him happy - why change it?

Show quote history

But why ask the question and start a thread if you have no intention of changing anything and it suits you, and him?
I don't get it.

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:04

BryantVibes · 22/04/2025 13:28

PS I have ND children, you start the process early possibly months before explaining why there will be less presents at Xmas/Easter etc. Just cos a child is ND doesn’t mean they cannot be explained to.

But , why? What would it serve ? If I don’t mind doing it and it makes him happy - why change it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 15:03

saveforthat · 22/04/2025 14:46

But you can't buy the small chocolate eggs in the Easter egg hunt pack all year round so they would be fine.

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But they’re not Easter eggs , they aren’t in a box .

Also , I just think - why? Why change it to something smaller when there is no harm in what we do now

OP posts:
saveforthat · 22/04/2025 14:46

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 11:04

It’s the number - but they have to be ‘Easter eggs ‘ . So a Cadbury egg or something like that ( there has to be more Cadbury than other brands ) - that’s just what he sees as an Easter egg . It’s more a case of having them than eating them. There is always one “big “ which simply means bigger than the rest ( so one medium and 9 small would be fine ) .

I did have a go at smaller ones before and it didn’t go down too well . The way he sees it - small chocolate eggs can be bought at any time of the year - like crème eggs - but Easter eggs can’t so if it can be bought any other time of year it’s not an Easter egg

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But you can't buy the small chocolate eggs in the Easter egg hunt pack all year round so they would be fine.

tothelefttotheleft · 22/04/2025 14:39

DUsername · 22/04/2025 10:51

Honestly? Don't do this to yourself. Free yourself from worrying about what strangers think! You do something that works for your family and that you can presumably afford. Are your kids happy with their Easter? Are you?

This. Ignore people who don't understand if it works for you and your children.

Moonnstars · 22/04/2025 14:22

I think you have said that hopefully he might consider money in the future, if not rather than 10 eggs would 10 gifts be something he would consider? You say for Christmas you can pad that out to make up the number, so could you get a couple of eggs and then maybe things he needs like socks, deodorant etc and even put into a refillable egg? Or must it be chocolate?

It does sound crazy having so much chocolate, especially as it doesn't get eaten and the fact you try to equal it out with siblings getting the same, but I can see why you do it.

MyOpalCat · 22/04/2025 14:11

If it works for you ignore eveyone else.

I get critised by IL for buying so many presents at Chrstams and birthdays - but they don't get stuff all year like some kids - a lot is second hand and/or useful or even pocket money.

Thing is DH an only child says we don't get that much more than they did for him though we probably spend less per child.

YourIcyGoldOrca · 22/04/2025 13:58

Your money your choice. Any one else opionion is irrelevant.

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:58

LoveMeLoveMyDawg · 22/04/2025 13:34

This!
You're doing what you need to do, it’s not like you’re showing off for Instagram or whatever.

My DS used to get given a fair few at Easter from family and the neighbourhood old ladies as he was the only baby in the area at that time.

i kept them in the cupboard and gave them out over the next few weeks, tbh me and his Ddad finished them as DS got fed up with them!

We all do what we do to get by, don’t worry OP.🌺

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Thank you .

I never post - I’m not one to post photos of presents on Christmas Eve or Easter eggs . This isn’t about being judged but I just have people on my social media that I know struggle a lot and I just don’t like to post these things and feel like A- I’m bragging or B - making a parent feel less of a parent because they don’t have the same amount .

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:56

Bbq1 · 22/04/2025 13:54

Op is your son 16/18? Judging by the comments you made around what he's unable to access compared to other dc of the same age, he is. Have you been doing this egg tradition for years?

Yes he is and yes I have been doing this for many , many years .

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:55

Emanresuunknown · 22/04/2025 13:45

The point is it's not just about this one thing it's not just about a 'test'. The tantrum over this is worth it because it's part of learning the wider lesson that he cannot always have what he wants, however upsetting that may be.

In life there will be lots of times that much as you want to give in to him it will be outside your control and if anything you are making it less and less likely as he gets older that he will be able to cope with not getting exactly what he wants, all the time.

You have an opportunity here to start work on this. Easter Sunday is at home. It's not in a public place where a tantrum might be embarrassing etc, it's not during school hours or anything like this.

Are you never going to gently teach him that despite his autism it won't be possible for him to always have what his wants, in the way he wants him?

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Yes , I do teach him. There are lots of things he wants and I don’t give in to everything .

But to me , this isn’t a big deal - it isn’t something that is stressful for me to do and it isn’t something I can’t continue so I’m happy to do it , to keep him calm and happy and able to deal with the holiday.

It isn’t about other people seeing the “ tantrum “ ( respectfully please do not call autistic meltdowns tantrums because they are not , he has no control over them and it’s not a reaction to not getting what he wants is his natural response to something he cannot deal with ) - I couldn’t care less about that . It’s about what it does to him when it happens . He is exhausted after, it makes him think he will never be able to live a normal life , it makes him think there is something wrong with him and he also physically hurts himself. I am not going to cause that just to save myself a few pound - when I don’t care about spending it in the first place .

OP posts:
Bbq1 · 22/04/2025 13:54

Op is your son 16/18? Judging by the comments you made around what he's unable to access compared to other dc of the same age, he is. Have you been doing this egg tradition for years?

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:50

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/04/2025 13:45

Gently OP - You're asking people here... Many of whom have no real understanding of ASD....

As you say, it's not about them pigging out on lorry loads of chocolate - it's making their world calm and predictable!

PS love the activity of melted chocolate cakes👍

Continue to have a lovely life!

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You’re right . Thank you for a lovely response 😌

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:49

Emanresuunknown · 22/04/2025 13:47

So why did you post then

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As I have said repeatedly , to see if other people thought it extravagant.

Most do, I didn’t. Now I’m seeing maybe it is. I didn’t post so that if people voted it was that I would stop doing it , just to see if it actually is .

OP posts:
Emanresuunknown · 22/04/2025 13:47

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:46

There won’t be a tantrum , there will be a meltdown . Massive difference .

I have no issue buying them , so I’m not going to change it

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So why did you post then

Original poster
Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:46

Emanresuunknown · 22/04/2025 12:55

If he doesn't eat them all save the empty boxes and foil and just get them out each year.
Its ridiculous, either this or ride out the storm one year, just buy 5 and create a new normal. Yes there will be a tantrum but fine it's one year and it will do them the world of good. Even autistic children do not have to just be given everything they want, yes it might upset them more but just being given everything they want isn't good for them either when it's a load of junky easter eggs.

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There won’t be a tantrum , there will be a meltdown . Massive difference .

I have no issue buying them , so I’m not going to change it

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/04/2025 13:45

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 11:02

This is exactly it! There are things that become routine and breaking that routine could do more harm than good . He will be really excited / anxious the night before Easter , then he runs down in the morning and looks at his eggs , counts them and that’s it . He’s calm then , Easter was as expected . He will nibble on them , I’ve never known him to actually finish an egg - a nibble then on to the next .

In a world that is confusing and difficult for him I will do whatever it takes to keep him calm and feeling safe in situations I can control

Show quote history

Gently OP - You're asking people here... Many of whom have no real understanding of ASD....

As you say, it's not about them pigging out on lorry loads of chocolate - it's making their world calm and predictable!

PS love the activity of melted chocolate cakes👍

Continue to have a lovely life!

Emanresuunknown · 22/04/2025 13:45

Pinkbleach · 22/04/2025 13:02

No , because I won’t risk him being distressed and having a meltdown and exhausting himself for a test . For the sake of a few pound .

Show quote history

The point is it's not just about this one thing it's not just about a 'test'. The tantrum over this is worth it because it's part of learning the wider lesson that he cannot always have what he wants, however upsetting that may be.

In life there will be lots of times that much as you want to give in to him it will be outside your control and if anything you are making it less and less likely as he gets older that he will be able to cope with not getting exactly what he wants, all the time.

You have an opportunity here to start work on this. Easter Sunday is at home. It's not in a public place where a tantrum might be embarrassing etc, it's not during school hours or anything like this.

Are you never going to gently teach him that despite his autism it won't be possible for him to always have what his wants, in the way he wants him?