To just want to be a housewife?

Thank you!

Ahĥh no not at all. Its lovely you have the choice etc. I always say that life sorts out :) I have a lovely child and pets and so life's pretty ok really.x

Right? I am about as nurturing as Pol Pot yet am very much a woman thank you!

(In fact my brothers are all far more nurturing than I am both with providing care to older and younger family members.)

Darling just go with the flow

I know what you mean - and I sometimes genuinely do wonder why, when a large chunk of the female population used to be housewives, they fought so hard for equality.

But then I remember that being a housewife in a marriage where your husband could legally rape you was probably a very different experience to the one those we’re envisaging.

Don't let them frighten you.

Make sure you can support yourself and your daughter if you need to, and it sounds like you are being very sensible by running a business and doing your qualifications. But otherwise, do what feels right for you and your family.

Oh absolutely. I can’t believe the hours I used to work and how much I used to care. My entire pregnancy was overshadowed by work. Then she came and ‘poof!’ I just stopped caring.

Personally, I think this is a really healthy attitude. I heard a saying recently that I really like: “In twenty years time the only people who will remember that you worked all those evenings and weekends are your children”.

I think you might be me. I had the big job and then had 2 kids and hated working FT. I’d love to stay at home. I hate myself for feeling this way but I totally get you OP

"Just"?

Well I don’t what to be a housewife , I just want to do the bids I like as cooking taking the kids to school , have chickens and read all day lol 😜 unfortunately hubby doesn’t earn enough , in fact I earn 3 x what he does so I will have to carry on working and trying to do all the above . But like you I was very good at my career , then I moved to the countryside had another child and suddenly I don’t care about my job , life is short , I want time with my kids and hubby , holidays , chickens and pets lol

I had a big job before DDs. I loved it and went back to work after DD1. I found out I was expecting DD2 the day after I agreed a new contract 🤦🏼‍♀️ I missed DD1 all the time I was at work 😕 when DD2 arrived I decided to take a full year maternity leave. At the end of the year I knew that I couldn’t go back so decided to take a five year career break. At the end of the five years we were having such a lovely time, I decided to Home school. They’re 16 & 15 now. I’ve spent the time retraining to be self employed and loving the time with them. I have no regrets.

My friend a high flyer before baby never went back. Started her own business which steadily grew. Had another baby. She too loves domesticity.

Thank you. X

You are allowed to love your daughter the way you want.

Just be sure you put enough security around your choice that wouldn’t affect her IF…

Totally normal. Same thing happened to me.

You are totally normal. But do keep the door ajar on your career if you can.
x

My life’s ambition was to be a housewife. Finally achieved it at age 52 after starting work at 18, paying into a pension and taking only the allowed maternity leave on the one occasion I needed it. If I could have done it when my child was tiny, I would have. Completely not unreasonable to want that lifestyle.

There's no normal, it's highly individual. You've been through a huge hormonal change, a lifestyle change, a focus change, you're allowed to change and find new pathways. It's really nice to hear you're super focused on your child. Don't forget Feminism is being able to choose what you want, don't let others sell you the idea its just working, climbing a career ladder and feeding materialistic status gains, if other things which make you happy you've actually struck gold. Good luck.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Life can be so cruel xx

Move to France- being a housewife is well respected there, and wages are better placed to have one income sustaining a family.
My Mum used to live in France and I would talk to her neighbours about enjoying being at home making preserves, cooking and brewing and keeping house- they thought that was wonderful and I was bringing as much to the table as my DP.

I think this is a normal thing when they are little but be cautious as it flips back when they are older. My youngest is 8 now and I can feel my thoughts about work/career etc changing.

I haven’t read all the responses, and I realise this thread is a day old already but I wanted to add my two penn’orth…
I, too was a rebellious, feisty younger woman who had a good career and made decent money. Rather to the surprise of most of my family and friends, I made a decision to become ‘a 1950s housewife’ for want of a better description. My husband was self employed earning around £130k, he worked long hours and commuted, so I stayed at home, did 90% of the child rearing and housework. I could attend all school events, take the kids to extra curricular activities and had plenty of leisure time. We were both happy. I loved that I got to spend real quality time with my children, didn’t need holiday clubs, could cook from scratch every day, my house was clean and I had time to do voluntary work.

I didn’t expect that we would separate and we didn’t.

But he was diagnosed with terminal cancer out of the blue. He died 22 months later.

Because of my choice to be a SAHP, I have struggled to find a decent job in the 3 years since he died. It’s hard. There are people with better, more up to date skills than me, who have more recent experience than me and who, because they are younger with fewer responsibilities can probably work for less money than me. Please do think about retaining your skills. I didn’t.

Indeed this. There’s a lot of putting women in the ‘nurturing’ box going on here. Quite irritating.