To just want to be a housewife?

Reading yr post firstly u don’t have to be rich but savvy and plan accordingly early on in yr career and it can be done. Secondly your post it sounds like working from a fear factor and having being sold u must be independent. What the original post was asking and what u are talking abt are 2 different things

Yes it is normal. However I am at the other end in my early 50’s were I can’t wait to retire and I am literally counting couple of yrs between the last child finishing education and to be in a position I can manage the expenses once mortgage is paid & live a basic walking the dog kind of life, eating simple but healthy meals. Not sure if I am in the minority as well but I feel life at present ppl care abt things that are not important. Some of my friends re fighting to climb up & I honestly don’t care, just watching my pension to get to a place I can manage with a bit of flexibility and I am good to go

I see nothing wrong with this at all. I've worked all my life and took on everything when my husband deserted us. Now retirement is in sight I can't wait to become a domestic goddess, have time to cook clean and garden! But I know I'll be doing it when I'm financially secure. If I'd not been working when my husband walked out, God knows what would have happened - I'd have lost my home for starters.

Because men are allowed to have careers without judgement such as that they belong at home, are bad parents, put their careers first etc.

That's all I want and no, I don't see how I'm any different to a man who is a parent and wants to work.

Feminism is about a choice for women to do what they want to do professionally. She can fly into space and that’s fine, she can be SAHM and that is also great. She’s contributing no less to society than an austranaut woman. You feel this way - absolutely fine OP very valid feelings. Go for it if you can. Don’t look at those who tell you otherwise. I was a career woman now I’m a SAHM and happier than ever. And very busy, actually I do more variety of things and developed myself more than I did when working full time. I learned baking, cooking, I paint and sell my art, learn new language, run children’s group, go out and see different places. Do some charity work. My brain is challenged more now with a variety of things than when I worked full time.

The point of equality though is that we can choose what's best for us just like men do. Why do men get choices but women don't?

Your way works for you because you're both happy with it and because you're both willing to make it work for each other.

It wouldn't work for others, myself included, because as much as I love my child, and being with her, doing things with her, cooking, cleaning etc, I need more mental stimulation than that. I get bored very easily. And when I get bored, I overthink, I get anxious, it's bad for me. Aside from that, we can't afford to live on one salary, so we both work.

Comparing to men or not, women should support women being allowed to do what's best for them. Why don't you?

There is nothing wrong with just wanting to be a housewife-the heart wants what the hearts wants, I wanted to be a housewife most of the time (I'm a freelancer) but I don't have children, there is still nothing wrong with that, but as you can see it causes a lot of negativity and rage, much of which comes from jealousy.
However, and it's a big however, as has been highlighted again and again you need to protect yourself financially from, death and divorce.
Trusting one's partner is wonderful, but it can leave you in a dreadful hole if things go wrong. Trusting you don't need to keep up with your career is also risky, life is uncertain and you could have to re enter the job market full time, at any time.
Don't beat yourself up justifying it to others, or yourself- if that is what makes you happy why the hell not?
Society accepts men should have what they want, as long as they earn plenty of money, but society feels women should sacrifice their happiness for their children and husband and bring in money-just ignore it, you need to focus on what makes you happy not on what the economy needs/wants- what do you want on your grave -beloved wife and mother, or helped the UK's GDP to debt ratio?

You also often see how people praise nursery workers, saying they are “incredible” and “amazing” for providing all those fun activities for the kids (even though this is literally their job). Yet when a mum does the same for her own child- she’s “just” a housewife, a child, worthless.

That’s a problem - always comparing to men. Why do we have to compare to men. I cannot respond for men,I can only respond as a woman- I see the value of me staying at home and looking after my children. Moreover, I have time to develop my hobbies, which I didn’t have when I worked full time. Whoever said that ‘women are more than just staying at home’ has no clue what they are talking about. You do not just stay at home binge watching Netflix, stuffing your mouth. For me staying at home is spending time with my son, teaching him, meeting people, making my home a place I and other people want to be, do what your soul wants to do (hobbies, outings, studying etc). That’s it. Financial independence, never felt I’m not financially independent. My husband is also not financially independent - we have to consult greater spendings and we both can spend on smaller things whenever we want.We have a joined account. Pretty much standard, even when you both work. And I still work on Saturday once a week. Also women are different than men - this is just biology. We shouldn’t compare to men. We have something to contribute they don’t have, and they have something we don’t. We are complimentary not competitors.

This is insane!

Most people in this country aren't truly financially independent. They have merged finances with their partners to fund the family unit and more than half are net beneficiaries of the welfare state. Even if you are currently financially independent, unless you are mega wealthy then there is always the chance that your health will fail and you will become financially dependent on either someone else or the state.

So are the majority of the population like children? It makes absolutely no sense.

The only thing that's anti-woman is thinking that women aren't allowed an opinion or a desire.

You can want to work. You can want to be at home. You can want to do both.

Some women are able choose which they do. They should be allowed to.

This. It is madness.

Not to mention women who bring home less money than what it costs them in childcare. The only reason they can work is because of the government free hours. Would you say they are also like a child @Tripleblue ? I know of someone who works in a nursery and her own child is in nursery looked after somebody else. She’s no better off working that she would have been at home with her own child. Utter madness. But the “feminists” on here would probably say that what she’s doing is the only right thing to do. God forbid we raise our own kids.

@JohnnysMama Also, why is it only a problem when women choose work over home and family? Not that I know any who choose it over home and family, just some who choose to work when they could financially be better off home.

Why isn't it a problem when men choose work over home and family? I'm lucky that DH is clear with work that his family comes first and so his hours don't go over X and overtime is to be spread out across the team and not all on him for weekends etc. But I know men who will choose to work extra despite not needing it financially. And at least one man who has told his wife he'd rather be at work.

Woman also isn't just staying at home taking care of children, cooking and cleaning either. We are so much more than that and absolutely don't belong at home.

When do women choose work over home and family?

Having financial independence is never a waste of time.

Oh for goodness’ sake.

Coped fine before having children then priorities changed. Why do I have to waste my time working outside home when I can invest all my energy into my family. Of course some women have to work even when they don’t want to. Some women are happy to do both. And all choices are valid and valuable except when women choose work over home and family. And this is alarming. Tells that there are some issues that need to be looked into and addressed. And WOMAN is not just a ‘vagina’ unless this is how you see your womanhood….

My idea of hell tbh but if it works for you why not? Keep your options open though because your circumstances may change and so may your feelings as your child gets older.

It sounds like you couldn't cope with working and you're assuming it applies to all women for some reason.

I absolutely don't belong at home just because I have a vagina.

I think its very overlooked how it's written on headstones, loving mother, wife, sister etc it doesn't say great manager, director or devoted worker

But how is that any different for a man. Their headstones have loving son to Maree, husband to Amelia and father to Lucy and Harold. Nothing about their work status either. Yet, we live in a world where people do need to work unless we are all back to living in caves hunting for our food (in which case it’s pretty much a full time occupation for all concerned re hunting and gathering anyway).

I think it’s normal to want to make a ‘nest’ for your family, especially while they are young. Ultimately our babies are important and it does change the mindset of how we feel about work. We work because we have to not because we want to in many cases. Those who enjoy their jobs enough to prioritise it are lucky.

As for pensions - unless you have a high paying job and can retire early at the rate things are going we’ll be dead before we get our pensions. It was 60 when I started working and now I’m looking at 67, assuming it doesn’t go up again. Taking time out for our children isn’t a bad thing.

I think its very overlooked how it's written on headstones, loving mother, wife, sister etc it doesn't say great manager, director or devoted worker...

Well if you take that argument, I just checked a page of newspaper obituaries and all of them are about people's accomplishments outside the house - not a single 'Jane Smith, she always polished her own kitchen floor to perfection'