Should ex have half child benefit?

STBEX was outraged that I was receiving CB once we had separated but was not giving him half. He saw DH2 for a couple of hours every fortnight (DS2 had to travel to him) and was deducting money from CM at £10 a visit to feed him lunch but still thought he was entitled to CB! There is no way DS2 was eating £10 for lunch. He just gave him cheap sausages and kept the rest for himself. Wanker. Cheap higher rate tax payer wanker.

Now that DS2 is over 18 he’s dropped all financial contribution, despite saying he’d top up his maintenance loan, moved 500 miles away and DS2 is lucky to get a phone call once a month. He’s still got me to support him at uni despite being reliant on CA and UC and he has DSA as ASD/ADHD and I don’t slag his dad off but one day I hope he realises for his own sake because I don’t want him to be grateful for crumbs when he deserves more.

Yes, he is mugging you off.

Take control of the situation and close the joint account. You don't want to be financially linked to an ex, it's too risky for all the reasons given by pp.

Child benefit has always been paid into my account, my ex has never questioned it. My partner and I also have a child together and the money goes into my bank account and he's never asked for a penny of it either? Contact the child benefit people and get it paid into your personal account.

You really need to get off this joint account, especially as you can't access it. He could be running up an overdraft or applying for loans that you will be responsible for repaying. You could log into your gov.uk account to change the account the child benefit goes to?

Be very very careful about a joint account, at any time he can decide to take all the money AND an overdraft's worth of money as soon as you've paid money in for eg mortgage payment.
I had this happen to me, thought there was plenty of ££ in the account ready to pay the month's bills only to find it had been drained and an overdraft set up AND the mortgage payment was due. So all the payments bounced and I put more money in only for the same again to happen. I went to the bank and they said there was nothing they could do about joint money that had already been taken out - but did agree to stop withdrawals and further overdraft till I could shut it and clear the debt, which was 4x mortgage payment, then I had penalties on top. Only takes one bright idea of theirs to stuff you financially (deposit for next property taken out of joint account prior to house sale), and I only got it back on divvying up with solicitor (again at my expense) from the house sale.
I highly recommend you take steps to close it as you'll be linked to his financial mistakes. Even if you do not, please tell the bank to NOT allow any overdraft on the account.

Where is he transferring money from and where to?

I think you really need to check your financial situation and sort out access to the joint account.

Reset your password and get access again then. It's not difficult!

Your log in details will be different to his. Your name is on the account so you have as much right to access the money as he does.

If it's a joint account reset your password surely?

Why do you need him to transfer from the joint account? Surely you have access to the account too

Are you? He sounds like a loser. Is it coming into his bank account then, not yours?
It's good he gave you what you asked but frankly you shouldn't have to!

There's no evidence he's spending any of it on the kids..so yeah, he's mugging you off.
Just give some of it directly to your kids when they go there to pay for own food etc. Seeing as he doesn't have anything in his house. Unless he wants it for himself he can't argue with that surely?
Well he can try but it's in your name, not his. So ultimately it's for the kids but with you in charge. Keep it that way. Especially as son doesn't even go to his dad's at all.

1. Close the joint account
2. Get the child benefit paid to you purely because the children are with you over 50% of the time
3. Tell your DD to advocate for herself if she wants her dad to buy stuff (I’m guessing her old hairbrush, and all her old stuff, is at your house so you haven’t had these expenses)

Change the account number to your own.

There is elements of you both being unreasonable.
The child benefit as others say is only paid to one person, you need to check who. You may just have put the joint account details down for where the payment was made. I also agree you need to close the joint account. I don't know how much you keep in it but if you both have access then he could easily take all the money.

The issue with the relationship with the children is something they need to speak up about. Your DD is 14 so with your support needs to speak to her dad and say she why doesn't like visiting, perhaps say what food she wants in the house when there and be more vocal about it. If she is meant to be there half the time then she needs to be able to talk to her dad.
I don't see why she can't take a hairbrush from home however (plus lots of teen girls keep a spare in a bag anyway) and my children are a lot younger and don't use a slip mat in showers - is she disabled?

I share custody of primary aged DD 50/50 with her dad and get the child benefit. We worked out her monthly expenses- clubs, childcare etc. I pay them with the child benefit then after that we split any left over costs equally

Why do you still have a joint account with an ex? That could have a negative impact on your credit rating. You need to sever that link ASAP.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I still have a joint account with my ex. Child benefit and we pay in some ££ It’s used for kids expenses. Sport subs, uniform, school dinners, bus fairs, clothes etc and yes we transfer them money for toiletries etc. Added bonus that I can say oh X needs new school shoes / trousers can you sort and he will!

I tho k it’s linked to the parent with the most responsibility for the child - helps with claiming for other stuff -

look into in it before deciding especially university etc

The CB can only be claimed by 1 person and is not a joint claim. If its in your name get it transferred to your account rather than the joint account. Or set up a standing order for the amount into your account or into the kids accounts from the joint account.

This.

And neither of your dcs need to visit him if they don't want to. They are old enough to make their own decisions.

They can hardly be blamed for that if he's too tight to provide food.

I would be closing the joint account because all the time it is open you are financially linked with your ex and his actions will affect your credit rating. Child benefit goes to the person who has the child most often and at whose address the child is registered for doctor, school etc. Giving it as an allowance sounds like a good plan some she can buy some of her own things at his house.

I'd be inclined to give it to him, cash in an envelope weekly. if she doesnt go, nor does the cash.

It actually equates to £2. 46 per night.