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Original poster

Women over 80

32 replies

Milaking · 21/04/2025 22:55

I am 88 years old and in good health and sound mind. I would like to have a companion but the man interested in me is 83 and I don’t really fancy old peoples fumbling which he is keen on. I was young with a good sexual appetite but I now surrender that part to where it belongs - to days of youth. But finding interesting men who read books and bring something new into your is rare. Can you get companionship without the mind boggling activities which would just make me laugh now. What do other single very old ladies do?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Milaking · 28/04/2025 00:42

Thinking along the same lines; not being ,sportive, this is definitely the way to go. Take a few books and do Pilates. I really marvel at the 90 year olds bicycling and walking for miles. The trouble is my age? At 88 your friends have either gone into nursing homes or gone to the other side. I am, so grateful to everybody for their kind suggestions.

mila.

OP posts:
Iambouddicca · 27/04/2025 19:03

I know people who have found like minded companionship on a saga cruise. It’s given them both a new lease of life at 90+ and late 80s.

lookeelikee · 24/04/2025 15:47

I have a FWB who is in the late 70's. We enjoy each others company as well as the sex.

LBFseBrom · 23/04/2025 04:58

JohnTheRevelator · 21/04/2025 23:06

I love how you say you don't fancy old people peoples fumbling 😂

Me too, my mind was boggling!

I'm 75 and prefer my own company but I understand some people like to have someone to go out and about with, have a laugh, etc. That sounds perfectly reasonable.

You have to make it clear from the outset that nothing else is on the menu, op. There are men who would be more than happy with that but - not many from what i see :).

GarlicSmile · 23/04/2025 03:35

My mum had the best (imo) relationship of her life with a man she met at 75; he was 80. He died last year at 99 - they only stopped having sex five years ago, after they both had strokes. According to Mum he was a bit fumbly at first but she taught him 😂

I've got to admit sex would be far too much effort for me now, but I'm not as fit & healthy as you. I think you'll have to make your mind up whether you're more interested in sexless companionship, in which case many men in your age group may be candidates, what with prostate trouble and bad backs, or a sexy one, which will probably mean seducing a younger man and getting rid of him when he can no longer keep up.

You sound like a fascinating woman. I'm sure you can build a social life to suit you. Depends on whether you specifically want a male friend and, if so, what for!

doodahdayy · 23/04/2025 03:21

I don’t blame you to be put off by the fumbling. I’d try to make more female, platonic friendships if you can. Most men seem to be interested in the sexual side of things no matter what their age.

Annialisting · 23/04/2025 03:20

I’m 70 and recently bereaved. There is no way I want any sort of relationship with a man. These days I much prefer the company of women. Have you tried the university of the 3rd age OP?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/04/2025 03:17

Never act your age, continuing to embrace your fun side.
Best of luck on finding an interesting companion and new friendships.

arcticpandas · 23/04/2025 02:44

I'm "only" 45 but have zero libido. A good book, some nice chocolates and interesting conversation is my idea of a good relationship. 😄

Tbrh · 23/04/2025 02:02

Do you still want kisses and cuddles, just no sex? If not and it's just companionship, do you really need a man? Have women friends instead? Or gay men? There might still be men out there not interested in sex, but it's probably few ans far between

Aavalon57 · 23/04/2025 00:38

'Now our Labour Party is going for the pensioners, the disabled and those least able to fend for themselves.'

A lot of older people (including many men) I know are campaigning on these very issues and others, whether through petitions, webinars, demos, letters etc. Is this something that could interest you? You've also had a very interesting life. How about creative writing groups?

RosesAndHellebores · 22/04/2025 19:33

Ah, I sort of get it. I've been with DH for more than 35 years and if anything were to happen to him, whilst I'd probably like companionship, I wouldn't want anyone else in my bed except the cats.

To be honest, MIL and mother, who are almost 89, find keeping tabs on their hospital appointments taxing and go out far less than they did. Mother who could do the splits two years ago, now worries about going up to the village. On that note, please enjoy every single minute of good quality of life and if you don't want a wrinkly fumble, don't have one.

Original poster
Milaking · 22/04/2025 19:25

Thanks a million for posts-maybe I should just act my age. I have cooked, knitted, quilted and most of my life as an expat I helped women with income generating projects in Belize , Africa , Indonesia and places where my husband were posted to. I looked forward to doing nothing but never got around to it as curiosity always kept me going. To the gent who could not understand why I would not want sex with a companion the answer is simple….my husband was gorgeous and we were young and that’s what I remember. Talking to the few friends I have left it seems that women past 85 would be very contented with a cup of hot chocolate and wondering why women in top political positions feel they should be tough. Remember Mrs Thatcher?
Now our Labour Party is going for the pensioners, the disabled and those least able to fend for themselves. Having said all that if there is an old gentleman interested in discussing what makes Trump behave like a modern Napoleon …… Fish and chips or English curry for a bit of nostalgia.

grateful for the posts especially the ones that made me laugh.

OP posts:
Allseeingallknowing · 22/04/2025 16:38

What do single, very old ladies do? Eat, watch TV and dream of non fumbling not so old men!

Allseeingallknowing · 22/04/2025 16:36

Find a toy boy? Better than old man’s fumbles, I bet!
Become a lady who lunches, or does afternoon tea?
if you read the magazine Yours there is a section for people looking for others with similar interests. Often stipulated is, car driver, travel, solvent, likes reading, tall, and the request sometimes ends with friendship or more…

Elffyba · 22/04/2025 16:30

TogetherNormanDouglas · 21/04/2025 23:34

I’d take the Maltesers off him.

As in remove his access to Viagra?

ScribblingPixie · 22/04/2025 16:28

Jane958 · 22/04/2025 13:30

I have a friend, who is 82. She cycles with a group and volunteers at her local Oxfam bookshop.

I always hear really interesting conversations between the staff in our local Oxfam Books. I sometimes hang around to earwig.

Jane958 · 22/04/2025 13:30

I have a friend, who is 82. She cycles with a group and volunteers at her local Oxfam bookshop.

Aavalon57 · 22/04/2025 00:13

What interests do you have?

TaupeMember · 21/04/2025 23:47

WoodyOwl · 21/04/2025 23:21

Knit?

🙄

IPM · 21/04/2025 23:44

cadburyegg · 21/04/2025 23:33

I just wanted to say you sound amazing!

In what way?

I hope I don't come across as anything other than genuine asking this, just curious as to why a woman who wants to meet a partner and not have sexual contact with him is 'amazing'?

Speckson · 21/04/2025 23:40

We have several over 90 year olds in our walking group who regularly do 5-7 mile hilly walks - and they have very fit and active minds to go with their fit and active (if a bit wrinkly) bodies. It's a great way to make new friends.

ScribblingPixie · 21/04/2025 23:35

BlueEyedBogWitch · 21/04/2025 23:29

What about U3A?

I was going to suggest U3A. They have meet ups and groups for all sorts near me - everything from bridge and learning languages to political discussion and art appreciation.

TogetherNormanDouglas · 21/04/2025 23:34

I’d take the Maltesers off him.

shellyleppard · 21/04/2025 23:33

@Milaking my dad is 80 and a widow. He joined some bereavement support groups after my mum passed. He's more active socially than me 🤣🤣 I'm sure there are some social sites out there. Good luck x