Page 5 | Things you've noticed that are frowned upon on mums net

ChitterChatter1987 · 2025-04-21T21:52:15+00:00

I'll go first 😆 -Kids sharing rooms -Complaining about schools or teachers -Feeling upset about a friend hurting you -Having more than 1 kid on an income under circa 50-100k, or having more than two on an income under circa 100-150k -Renting long term Complaining about dogs being given human rights. Complaining about grandparents care of DC's 'because it's free so like it or lump it!'

ItGhoul · 22/04/2025 15:35

Oh, I've thought of some more:

Making your own decisions about what you're happy to let your own child watch, instead of adhering strictly to BBFC age rating

Influencers

Preferring not to age naturally

Male nursery workers

Letting your child just chill out and amuse themselves in their spare time rather than attending arranged clubs and activities

Spending a day indoors, because it would mean everyone was 'climbing the walls'

pirateshirt · 22/04/2025 13:41

You must never, ever, even mildly criticise WLI.

Emptybookshelves3 · 22/04/2025 13:22

justmeandmyselfandi · 21/04/2025 23:00

Not wanting a million children at your wedding! Weddings are not for the bride and groom, but for the whole family and community.

But equally, the day is all about the bride and groom. It is frowned upon for being upset that you aren’t invited - even if it’s your son’s wedding, or your sister.

No one should expect an invitation, so you are being ridiculous being upset.

Abracadabra12345 · 22/04/2025 13:15

Believing in God

RedHillLady · 22/04/2025 12:07

Katemax82 · 21/04/2025 22:53

I saw a post where somone used the term Karen and got flamed

Rightly so!

Sunsweetsandandicecream · 22/04/2025 12:05

MN seems to delete threads that do not need deleted, and refuse to delete threads that do. I think this has been pointed out for a long time.

DidYouEverGoBack · 22/04/2025 11:40

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:32

That's ridiculous!
Aspergers isn't exactly an offensive term, and it's not that long ago it was recognised.
(And yes I'm a parent of a child with ASD)

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Mumsnet has lots of autism trolls, MNHQ has posted about about them, so I think people are suspicious that it’s a troll when people use that sort of language. I’m not saying the pp is a troll, just explaining why people may react negatively.

HellDorado · 22/04/2025 11:38

Making friends through work. Often accompanied by a sneering “I spend five days a week with these people - why on earth would I want to spend my spare time with them too?”

Erm, maybe spending that much time with someone is enough to tell you
whether you like them or not? Why is it “sad” to be friends with colleagues you’ve got to know and like, but it’s actively encouraged to develop friendships through a one hour a week yoga class or book group? And there’s always the slightly gleeful “The friend who won’t last once one of you change jobs” too. Well, maybe some won’t, maybe some will. I have a couple of good friends I met through work who I’m sad not to see as regularly now; but on the other hand, I went on holiday recently with a “work” friend I haven’t actually worked with since 2013!

DidYouEverGoBack · 22/04/2025 11:38

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:23

Dogs are being more and more humanised! Cafes and restaurants are full of them, there are more and more 'outfits' in the shops for them, friends i know use video monitoring cameras if god forbid they decide to go out without them! And only last week I discovered an isofix car seat and carrycot pram travel system in halfords....for dogs!! 😂

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Tbf, it’s really important to secure dogs safely in cars, for their own safety and the safety of others. And dog pushchairs are good for dogs who have had operations or are older and can’t manage longer walks but still enjoy the park or shorter walks.

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:32

CoffeeCantata · 22/04/2025 11:12

Not being absolutely up-to-speed on the latest terminology for certain SEND conditions. I remember being flamed for using the term 'mild Aspergers' about my daughter (now 34 and only diagnosed as an adult).

I'd even humbly prefaced my post by saying that I wasn't sure of the correct current terminology, but that the term was used at the time of her diagnosis.

Blimey - the venom and aggression my mistake unleashed was unreal! Some pps pitied my daughter for having such an appalling parent as me etc etc.

(My daughter and I have a great, warm and loving relationship, btw!)

Some professionals need to understand that not everyone is aware of every new nuance in their particular areas (why on earth would they be?) and that an honest mistake should be understood and corrected politely and kindly.

That's ridiculous!
Aspergers isn't exactly an offensive term, and it's not that long ago it was recognised.
(And yes I'm a parent of a child with ASD)

OP posts:

scalt · 22/04/2025 11:24

Criticising lockdown is very frowned upon, as is blaming children’s behaviour on lockdown.

As is wearing shoes indoors, because it’s a “global standard” that everyone takes them off inside.

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:23

andtheworldrollson · 22/04/2025 08:49

Dogs having hunan rights? Sorry that made me laugh !

Dogs are being more and more humanised! Cafes and restaurants are full of them, there are more and more 'outfits' in the shops for them, friends i know use video monitoring cameras if god forbid they decide to go out without them! And only last week I discovered an isofix car seat and carrycot pram travel system in halfords....for dogs!! 😂

OP posts:

CoffeeCantata · 22/04/2025 11:12

Not being absolutely up-to-speed on the latest terminology for certain SEND conditions. I remember being flamed for using the term 'mild Aspergers' about my daughter (now 34 and only diagnosed as an adult).

I'd even humbly prefaced my post by saying that I wasn't sure of the correct current terminology, but that the term was used at the time of her diagnosis.

Blimey - the venom and aggression my mistake unleashed was unreal! Some pps pitied my daughter for having such an appalling parent as me etc etc.

(My daughter and I have a great, warm and loving relationship, btw!)

Some professionals need to understand that not everyone is aware of every new nuance in their particular areas (why on earth would they be?) and that an honest mistake should be understood and corrected politely and kindly.

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:10

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 22/04/2025 06:35

Omg, smoking weed is the behaviour of skanyy, lazy, unwashed losers, who will turn children into zombies...
Conveniently forgetting that people from all walks of life use it regularly, go to work and use it, care for people, do complicated things, and function very well. And will be so unlikely to start an argument or a fight as they would after a drink.

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That may be the case for some, but having been in relationships in the past with two men who were heavy weed smokers, they were both anti-social/paranoid/aggressive/lazy and skint.
I've also seen many similar behaviours in weed smoking males in my job.
Maybe light social use in an otherwise stable person might be less of an issue....i haven't met those users...but still not convinced its the innocent drug some make it out to be :-/

OP posts:

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 11:06

Austenpirate123 · 22/04/2025 06:12

Sleep training. (and worst of all, cry it out.)

far better to spend several years in a sleep
deprived fug, wondering why you are depressed.

Well CIO is scientifically proven to be emotionally damaging to children and parent/child attachments.
But agree gentler methods of sleep training are better than a parent who is for example feeling constantly depressed or is driving or caring for a young child on a dangerously low amount of sleep.

OP posts:

EasterDream · 22/04/2025 10:59

AnotherMondayYay · 22/04/2025 10:51

Wanting a baby over 40 is met with disgust on many, many threads but there was a recent one where a 52 year old man wasn’t seen as old at all 🤔

Someone said cooking every meal from scratch is basic parenting. If you don’t do this you are not worthy of being a parent.

Step kids? Urghhh. They don’t like those.

My great gran had 6 babies over 40 - last at 49 - what would people make of her ? 🤣

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:59

PIPsqueakybum · 22/04/2025 00:29

Receiving disability benefits. Even though you’re disabled.

Yes I think claiming benefits of any kind is frowned upon on here, even if someone is working too.

Probably related to the anti-working class attitudes PP mentioned, and the fact that many on here have never needed to claim benefits and don't get what it's like being in that position (lucky them!)

OP posts:

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:56

Fizbosshoes · 22/04/2025 00:59

Ensuite bathrooms
Loo brushes
Bodily functions
Fabric conditioner
Scented panty liners
Anything less than 3 showers/day
Carbs
Birthdays if you're over 8
Spending more than £100 on engagement rings or weddings
B and M and the Range
Metro tiles
Laminate flooring
Being on speaking terms with colleagues, neighbours, IL or school mums

Oh my goodness yes, the showers thing is crazy!
If you don't shower every day you're filthy and smell 😒

Interested about the fabric conditioner (why that's an issue) and loo brushes?! Have seen both mentioned afew times on this thread.Not sure how on earth someone could NOT use a loo brush....or shouldn't I ask :-/

OP posts:

AnotherMondayYay · 22/04/2025 10:51

Wanting a baby over 40 is met with disgust on many, many threads but there was a recent one where a 52 year old man wasn’t seen as old at all 🤔

Someone said cooking every meal from scratch is basic parenting. If you don’t do this you are not worthy of being a parent.

Step kids? Urghhh. They don’t like those.

CodandChipz · 22/04/2025 10:50

Someone mentioned quoting the OP and that gives me the rage more than anything, especially on the first page. Why do people thing that someone comes onto a thread and doesn’t read the OP (I know people don’t always read it properly) but will read their post.

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:49

Lavender14 · 22/04/2025 00:24

Dogs existing.
Children existing in public spaces.
Single mothers having the audacity to date.

People wanting to have a big wedding
People wanting to have a baby shower or god forbid even worse... a gender reveal.
People wanting to celebrate their birthday.

People receiving benefits that they are actually making ends meet on.

Children existing in public spaces....YES and also on public transport.

Also, having a proper christening with a party after, and having more than 2 godparents (one of each gender)

OP posts:

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:47

Almostwelsh · 21/04/2025 23:50

Going on package holidays to popular resorts. Even worse if it's All Inclusive and not 5 star

Oh yes...only a villa or a 5* are acceptable of course 😉

OP posts:

Original poster

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:46

RoseAndGeranium · 21/04/2025 23:41

This one mystifies me and I see it a lot outside Mumsnet too. Why are women being shamed for caring about their kids’ diets??

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Nothing wrong with caring about children's diets, having a balanced variety etc, but shouldn't mean an unacceptance of those who don't have time or money to cook homemade meals from scratch all the time.

OP posts:

HellDorado · 22/04/2025 10:42

Criticising poor customer service (to the point on one thread that a particularly vitriolic poster kept posting “waitress” in quote marks as if the OP had used some appalling insult). I KNOW waiting staff don’t get paid much - but it’s not me who sets their wages. I pay for service and will say if it isn’t up to scratch!

LetsWatchTheFlowersGrow · 22/04/2025 10:35

Weight loss injections. How dare the obese become thin…