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Original poster

Things you've noticed that are frowned upon on mums net

333 replies

ChitterChatter1987 · 21/04/2025 22:52

I'll go first 😆

-Kids sharing rooms
-Complaining about schools or teachers
-Feeling upset about a friend hurting you
-Having more than 1 kid on an income under circa 50-100k, or having more than two on an income under circa 100-150k
-Renting long term
Complaining about dogs being given human rights.
Complaining about grandparents care of DC's 'because it's free so like it or lump it!'

OP posts:
Boreded · 22/04/2025 18:50

FlowerFairy12 · 22/04/2025 18:27

Too right. It’s generally only used by fairly uneducated people who have run out of anything useful to say so they resort to this.

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I don’t use it personally, I find it incredibly cheesy, there are much better ways of putting a person back in their place if they’re being excessive. However I also understand its place in culture, and would vehemently disagree that it is a misogynistic term, just because some can use it that way.

Am I under educated? Not with my first in a degree from a respected university I’m not…why does mumsnet always have to say that someone who doesn’t agree with them isn’t educated enough.

Boreded · 22/04/2025 18:46

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 18:26

It's literally a woman's name. Not a man's name. A woman's name.

Why is it a woman's name and not a man's name?

Think for a second.

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But what if someone here on mumsnet is a woman but being a massive dick?

That is obviously a male appendage and a male name, yet if a woman is being a dick they are being a dick, not a dickess or a vagina. Don’t you agree?

mewkins · 22/04/2025 18:44

Grandparents providing childcare.

FlowerFairy12 · 22/04/2025 18:27

Katemax82 · 21/04/2025 22:53

I saw a post where somone used the term Karen and got flamed

Too right. It’s generally only used by fairly uneducated people who have run out of anything useful to say so they resort to this.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 18:26

Boreded · 22/04/2025 18:24

Fairly standard moronic response to a reasonable statement. But by all means, keep calling me a clown…that will make you seem far more intelligent and reasonably balanced 🥱 bored now

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It's literally a woman's name. Not a man's name. A woman's name.

Why is it a woman's name and not a man's name?

Think for a second.

Boreded · 22/04/2025 18:24

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 18:15

"Karen is both male and female"

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

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Fairly standard moronic response to a reasonable statement. But by all means, keep calling me a clown…that will make you seem far more intelligent and reasonably balanced 🥱 bored now

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 18:15

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:54

For the same reason there isn’t a male version of doctor. I have already answered this further up.

Karen is both male and female. But if you really need to label gender then you can call it male Karen.

Karen is not a female name in this instance, rather a noun, much like table, jacket, bread.

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"Karen is both male and female"

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

M1n1eggs · 22/04/2025 18:09

WhereIsMyJumper · 22/04/2025 18:00

I think it’s gets a little tiring that on a parent forum, where people post to ask for parenting advice about seemingly normal behaviour, on the first page someone always suggests ADHD/Autism

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I’m not talking about that I’m talking about abelist posters dismissing the existence of autism and ADHD alongside belittling both and women and girls finally being diagnosed properly .

AmusedGoose · 22/04/2025 18:07

Appreciating in laws and parents.

WhereIsMyJumper · 22/04/2025 18:00

M1n1eggs · 22/04/2025 17:40

Having an autism or ADHD diagnosi

I think it’s gets a little tiring that on a parent forum, where people post to ask for parenting advice about seemingly normal behaviour, on the first page someone always suggests ADHD/Autism

ThisUsernameIsNowTaken · 22/04/2025 17:55

Sending your kids to private school
Criticising teachers or the NHS
Shouting at your husband or your kids
Caring about global warming
Expecting grandparents to take an interest in their grandchildren
Accepting the idea that some people are genuinely transgender

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:54

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 17:38

So why isn't there a male version of Karen?

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For the same reason there isn’t a male version of doctor. I have already answered this further up.

Karen is both male and female. But if you really need to label gender then you can call it male Karen.

Karen is not a female name in this instance, rather a noun, much like table, jacket, bread.

CoffeeCantata · 22/04/2025 17:46

DidYouEverGoBack · 22/04/2025 11:40

Mumsnet has lots of autism trolls, MNHQ has posted about about them, so I think people are suspicious that it’s a troll when people use that sort of language. I’m not saying the pp is a troll, just explaining why people may react negatively.

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Yes - the reaction from one pp in particular was completely disproportionate and actually very personal and upsetting. We ought to be able to discuss these topics without fear of being pounced on for a minor crime of not knowing the up-to-date terminology. I'm happy and grateful to be corrected, but not happy to be treated like a criminal!

M1n1eggs · 22/04/2025 17:40

Having an autism or ADHD diagnosi

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 17:38

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:20

AND…it’s not about an extreme emotional outburst, it is about entitled and demanding behaviour. Both men and women can display that

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So why isn't there a male version of Karen?

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:20

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:18

I would still use Karen 🤷‍♀️

It’s not about using it as a ‘female name’ so much as identifying a character trait. You don’t say that women can’t be dicks because Dick is a male name and a dick is a male appendage…

if you want to, much like actor and actress, you can use both for a lady or actor for a male. With Karen and ‘male Karen’ you can use both for a man but just Karen for a lady

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AND…it’s not about an extreme emotional outburst, it is about entitled and demanding behaviour. Both men and women can display that

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 17:19

Boreded · 22/04/2025 16:44

It’s really not

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Of course it is.

What's the male equivalent of Karen?

Boreded · 22/04/2025 17:18

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 22/04/2025 17:06

It started off as a term, used fairly minimally, to critique women engaging in extreme emotional behaviours and public outbursts. Now, however, it’s (over)used rather frequently - in many cases in response to women simply daring to have an opinion, speak up, or advocate for themselves, seemingly with the intention to silence/minimise. So, it is unfortunately. What’s the equivalent for a man?

Edited
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I would still use Karen 🤷‍♀️

It’s not about using it as a ‘female name’ so much as identifying a character trait. You don’t say that women can’t be dicks because Dick is a male name and a dick is a male appendage…

if you want to, much like actor and actress, you can use both for a lady or actor for a male. With Karen and ‘male Karen’ you can use both for a man but just Karen for a lady

Hitchinkitchen · 22/04/2025 17:13

The very existence of men. 😆

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 22/04/2025 17:06

Boreded · 22/04/2025 16:44

It’s really not

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It started off as a term, used fairly minimally, to critique women engaging in extreme emotional behaviours and public outbursts. Now, however, it’s (over)used rather frequently - in many cases in response to women simply daring to have an opinion, speak up, or advocate for themselves, seemingly with the intention to silence/minimise. So, it is unfortunately. What’s the equivalent for a man?

Boreded · 22/04/2025 16:44

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2025 06:36

That's because Karen is a misogynistic slur and Mumsnet is a site for women.

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It’s really not

RoseAndGeranium · 22/04/2025 16:35

ChitterChatter1987 · 22/04/2025 10:46

Nothing wrong with caring about children's diets, having a balanced variety etc, but shouldn't mean an unacceptance of those who don't have time or money to cook homemade meals from scratch all the time.

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I agree, there is no mileage whatsoever in making sweeping and judgmental remarks about other people's choices in this respect. It's not like it will change anyone's mind and some will have perfectly valid reasons for feeding their children food that, in an ideal world, children wouldn't regularly eat. But describing one's food choices isn't automatically a criticism of anyone else's for choices, and that's often how it's taken. Caring about our kids' diets is a good thing. It's right that we challenge those who lack understanding about why for some parents an optimal food regime is harder than for others, but there is zero point in sneering at people for taking an interest and making an effort.

jackiesgirl · 22/04/2025 16:18

Baby showers
Not aspiring to private school
Tolerating annoyances in a relationship rather than ending things over a trivial issue

Phillipconnarthy · 22/04/2025 15:59

Your DP wanting sex with you, if he does he's a raging sex pest who should be readily willing to accept a sexless marriage.

AInightingale · 22/04/2025 15:40

An indoor pedigree cat escaping the house and getting pregnant; I remember a poor OP getting the Star Chamber treatment on here a while back.

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