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Original poster

To think this is cruel on the children?

237 replies

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:31

I know it's not my business, my children etc. But I'm just sharing an opinion.

A friend has two children, a boy aged 5 and a girl aged 9. Every summer, they're shipped off to their grandparents for the majority of the school holidays.
Their grandparents live 300 miles away. Obviously they get updates, facetimes etc. But I think that's pretty cruel, particularly on the 5 year old.

A week or so I could be totally on board with, but nearly 6 weeks? Anyway it's up to them, just wondered what people thought.

OP posts:
noworklifebalance · 21/04/2025 20:50

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:35

I think it's cruel for young children to not see their parents for 6 weeks?

Perhaps the children absolutely love it - have you asked them or are you just judging and projection?
Many children love spending time with their grandparents.

Sirzy · 21/04/2025 20:50

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:34

It's funny as there's another thread going where apparently it's not necessary for kids to even have a sleepover at grandparents?

It’s not necessary for just a sleepover. But it is sometimes the best option when parents have to work!

SaladSandwichesForTea · 21/04/2025 20:48

I spent half my holidays at grandparents and loved it. We were spoilt rotten and I treasure those memories.

Smallmercies · 21/04/2025 20:46

I think you have grounds for a citizen's arrest.

Eightdayz · 21/04/2025 20:46

Keep your nose out, Phil.

Branster · 21/04/2025 20:45

I can't see why it would be cruel? Grandparents are family and have their best interest at heart. They are safe, fed, and taught manners and all sorts of skills. Far, far better than going to holiday clubs all day long then back home to tired and stressed parents.
I think having involved grandparents is hugely beneficial to young children.
As long as the grandparents have the energy for it, obviously.
Some of my best childhood memories are spending holidays with my grandparents. Not as long as 6 weeks at a time, but 2-4 weeks quite often.

DorothyStorm · 21/04/2025 20:45

Someone i went to school also had this every year right through school. But out of the country.

CanYouTurnItDown · 21/04/2025 20:45

Ex’s niece and nephew did this as kids. They loved it and now they’re grown up they’re wanting the same for theirs.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 21/04/2025 20:44

You could have stopped with your first sentence regarding these imaginary children

BatchCookBabe · 21/04/2025 20:41

I agree with you @Phillipconnarthy

It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

lostinthesunshine · 21/04/2025 20:41

According to my 88 year old father, this was very common when he was growing up.

WrylyAmused · 21/04/2025 20:41

I grew up doing this, for nearly all school holidays, from as far back as I remember up until I was old enough to be at home alone in the daytimes (by then I was well into my teens and mostly wanted to hang out with friends - still visited my grandparents lots though). I loved my grandparents and it was great. Plus they had all the time in the world to spend with me and not be stressed as they were retired, so we did tons of days out, they played with me, we cooked together etc etc.

Depends what relationship the kids have the with grandparents, but cruel is probably a massive overreach.

For me, I was with safe adults who loved me, and who I loved, and there was nothing I found problematic about that at all. I know that my parents loved me, and also they needed to work - it was a great solution for everyone in my family.

MyUmberSeal · 21/04/2025 20:40

I think it’s rather lovely actually. Used to stay with my grandparents every year for 4 weeks during the summer holidays in Devon and I have such happy memories.

My dad would stick me and my brother on the national express from London Victoria to Bideford , with a panda bottle of pop and some pic n mix. My Grandma would meet us the other end. Happy days.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 21/04/2025 20:40

Sounds like someone never read Enid Blyton

Dontlletmedownbruce · 21/04/2025 20:39

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:35

I think it's cruel for young children to not see their parents for 6 weeks?

You know some people send their kids to boarding school and are encouraged in certain circles to do this. By comparison summer with grandparents is nothing

Kissedbyfire1 · 21/04/2025 20:39

BiL and Sil used to send their DC off to maternal grandparents every school holiday for the whole holiday except for their annual trip to the sun. Sil worked part time.

socks1107 · 21/04/2025 20:38

I had to do this. Single mum, very little support from their dad ( one week in summer and half a week in February) with normal limits of annual leave. My children now adults have wonderful relationships with both me and their grandparents. Yes I felt guilt, yes I cried driving back down the motorway or looking at their empty rooms but that didn’t pay the bills.
Don’t be so quick to judge

Zanatdy · 21/04/2025 20:38

It works for some families. Many grandparents would love it, and many adults look back so fondly on long holidays with grandparents.

MintTwirl · 21/04/2025 20:37

Well no it isn’t necessary but it doesn’t mean it can’t be fun or helpful for parents to have this as an option.

ilovesooty · 21/04/2025 20:37

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:35

I think it's cruel for young children to not see their parents for 6 weeks?

What about children in boarding school? You don't know about the relationship between the children and grandparents either.

TheOriginalEmu · 21/04/2025 20:36

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:34

It's funny as there's another thread going where apparently it's not necessary for kids to even have a sleepover at grandparents?

Necessary? No
fun if you have nice grandparents? Yes
i spent the majority of my weekends and holidays with my grandparents and I have nothing but good memories of it.

Original poster
Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:36

As i said, I'm posting an opinion. I never said you have to agree..

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 21/04/2025 20:36

Do the kids like their grandparents?

if both parents work there’s limited annual leave.

it’s probably grandparents or holiday club.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 21/04/2025 20:36

Oh no, kids going and having fun for a few weeks with loving relatives while being in frequent contact with their parents.

Poor little mites 😭

missmollygreen · 21/04/2025 20:36

Phillipconnarthy · 21/04/2025 20:34

It's funny as there's another thread going where apparently it's not necessary for kids to even have a sleepover at grandparents?

Go and ask in that thread then if you just want an echo chamber for your own opinions?

Swipe left for the next trending thread