To think this is cruel on the children?

I know someone whose dc always went to grandparents in another country for the entirety of the summer holiday.

You know, they have a lovely relationship with their parents now they're an adult - and they still choose to spend a good deal of the summer holiday with their grandparents.

My grandparents lived in a different country, we would be shipped off for weeks in the Summer to them. I loved it. It made our relationship a lot closer than it otherwise would have been. It was definitely a positive thing in my childhood.

My DD goes to grandparents for 1-2 weeks most summer holidays. All family live 300+ miles away. It’s the only time of year we get childcare. No help for the rest of the year.

How much childcare do parents agreeing with you get on a weekly basis?

Sounds like an ideal solution to me.

Many children who board at school spend long periods away. It all depends on the children. Some are extremely robust and enjoy the variation in environment. For development it can be very good, dealing with different people in different circumstances. For others it does not work and they need more parental support. Within reason, each family works out what is right for them. I do not think this sounds particularly unusual TBH.

I have heard that this is the norm amongst lots of Eastern European families. The kids go off to the countryside to spend holidays with grandparents with whom they feel loved and secure, and have a wonderful time.

My sibling and I spent two weeks each summer with relatives (not grandparents) from not much older. I don't remember being homesick, had a great time and would have happily stayed longer. Due to finances and geography our family holidays were usually visiting relatives anyway. I think full working days in a holiday club (if even possible) would be tougher on the kids.

i wouldn’t do it myself but I also wouldn’t call it cruel

We had this when we were little. My grandad would drive down to pick us up and I remember listening to Abba and Dolly Parton with him on the way up.

I don't think it was full six weeks but I don't remember being upset by separation because it was my grandparents who were very loving to us.

I don't think this is a bad situation at all and better than day camp.

I’ve just come back from a holiday with my DGC. A week in the French countryside followed by a couple of days in Paris Disneyland. This summer I’m taking her for a couple of weeks to a long haul beach holiday. Her parents will also take her away for a European break. I don’t think she realises how hard done by she is and how cruel her parents are for allowing her to go.

Sounds wonderful. My MIL was shipped to another country for the summer holidays every year, and then got passed around different relatives over there. She had a whale of a time and has some great stories.

I used to stay with my Gran for the whole holidays. It was bloody brilliant, she was really kind and loving. Didn’t miss my parents at all.

If the children have been doing it all their lives, they won't know any different.

It’s not that unusual for kids to be shipped off for the summer. A friend of mine went to her parent’s home country every summer to stay with relatives and had a grand time.

It’s only cruel if the children hate it/the grandparents are abusive/neglectful. Hopefully everyone involved is happy with the arrangement. That’s what counts, not what a load of strangers on Mumsnet think.

There going to the GPs their not being sent to work in the coal mines! 🤣

I think this is fairly common with people from Eastern Europe too. A few colleagues over the years discussed how their children would visit grandparents for 6 weeks in the summer. I thought it was nice, they get to experience the culture of their parents home country. Parents would go for a week or two if possible. But yes I'm sure they miss their parents too.

Exactly what I was thinking. Summers with Aunt Fanny and Uncle Quentin.

Wow, it’s almost like people can just choose what works for them and their own family, isn’t it? Who knew?

There’s nothing wrong with kids staying with grandparents for weeks. There’s also nothing wrong with kids never staying with their grandparents ever. I don’t see why this is bothering you.

Awww, I bet the kids will have an amazing time with the grandparents and a lovely close relationship.

But, just consider that maybe the parents can't afford holiday childcare prices into hundreds of pounds each week (and round here the clubs close at 3pm anyway!) And so this is vital to keep a roof over their heads. Maybe the parents absolutely hate it too and desperately miss their kids but are doing what they can to make it work.

I am jealous of your friend!

After two weeks of Easter break I am so done. Utterly exhausted.

My parents did this for childcare reasons mainly, though they sometimes went away on their own leaving me with relatives. From around the age of 10 we did do family holidays in the summer but I spent all the other holidays with relatives. I didn't get on with one GP, who was openly hostile towards me and I used to cry before going. I will never fathom why my parents sent me there. Also, my birthday always falls in one of the half-terms and I was always away for that so never with my parents, though to be fair that one was always spent with a lovely relative I enjoyed being with. My parents and I are not close.

We had excellent holidays staying with our grandparents

I guess it depends on whether the dc are happy to spend all their school holidays at GP’s and if GP’s are happy to have them.

My parents are happy to have my DC for a week. I wouldn’t ask them to have them for all the 6 weeks holiday. It wouldn’t be fair on them to miss out on spending time with their friends and doing their hobbies. They are getting on a bit now (70’s). My DC wouldn’t be happy either.

my DC spend the first week at my parents. I take two weeks leave to cover the second and third weeks. DH takes two weeks leave to cover the fourth and fifth weeks. They go to paternal GP’s the last week.

But it it works for other families why not?

I was “shipped off” to my grandparents holiday caravan for the entirety of the summer holidays from age 4 to 16 (when grandad died) and it was the best memories of my life. Truly my happy place was being with my grandparents. Got spoilt, away with blue murder and watched a shit load of Jonathan Creek with my Nan.

My own DD spends a lot of time with her grandparents over the school holidays, because they do fun shit and she adores them as much as they adore her.

No I don’t find it cruel.

Good grief. I work in an area where I deal with the aftermath of actual child cruelty. Spending school holidays with loving grandparents is not cruel, whether or not it's what you yourself would choose to do.