To think this is cruel on the children?

I spent every school holiday with my gran from 7 to 15. I only stopped then because I got a Saturday job so couldn't be away for 6 weeks at a time.

Absolutely adored my gran and all the other family nearby. Phone calls were expensive so barely talked to my parents during holidays.

I wouldn't change a thing looking back. That house felt like home and I have nothing but good memories of it.

My mum used to send me and my brother off up to our grandparents for the 6 weeks summer holidays. I used to get homesick but grandparents did their best by us all.
Took us to the park for picnics and let us set hammocks etc up in the garden. Occasionally would be an exciting trip to Pizza Hut!
But really I was very bored, no friends around and didn’t have much of my own ‘stuff’. Was quite lonely really as my brother had our cousin who was also a boy of the same age and they used to hang out together but I didn’t have anyone else my own age.
However my mum needed to be able to work and couldn’t afford the alternative childcare arrangements so it had to be like this.
I was really glad when I got older and didn’t have to go for the whole 6 weeks.
i remember she would come up for a weekend halfway through and I used to cry when I saw the car drive off back home, not because I missed her (I didn’t really, she was super strict and stressed a lot!) but because I just wanted to be going back to my own house.
Looking back there was nothing ‘cruel’ about it. Yes it was hard for me as a small kid but it was very much needed and our grandparents (old school Caribbean grandparents, loved us hugely but could also be quite the disciplinarians!) did their best to make sure we had good experiences.
The alternative would have been my brother and I left home alone for long days way younger than would be acceptable or appropriate.

My SIL couldn’t be bothered to look after her own child so mostly left child with Parents in law. When child was 9yrs old MIL died and child was shipped back to her mother/SIL as FIL couldn’t cope.
Child mostly lived with her dad after that and now aged 25 lives 100s of miles away and SIL barely sees her. SIL is lonely and child has a good life away from her mother. When I have seen her around here and there she’s with her dad.

god forbid children have strong relationships with anyone other than their biological parents

I bet you caption photos on facebook "Our little family" don't you, OP?

I don’t see how it’s cruel, especially when they face time etc.

If I was the grandparents I would be exhausted but I assume they love it just as much as the kids.

loved my summers being shipped off to my grandparents in a …………different country. My grandparents spoiled me rotten. Didn’t miss home at all.

My cousins used to fly over with my auntie from USA every summer and she’d stay for a week then leave cousins with family - they’d stay with our nanna, our auntie gill, and my parents/me over the course of the 6 week holiday. As adults, despite them living in Wisconsin and Minnesota, we’re really close and have a wonderful friendship. They don’t seem harmed. (USA annual leave was truly shite back then). Staying with loving grandparents is completely fine.

This is the mindset that’s the issue.

We all need our villages. I’m sure the children arnt just “shipped off” - they travel to their grandparents.

It’s funny because you have people that complain when children don’t get to travel enough and arnt cultured enough.

Some of my best childhood memories were spending the whole of the summer holidays with family - no parents - they would obviously call and check in , but sometimes family is family.

My kids have been to stay with grandparents for a bit of each school holiday, this Easter they didn’t need to go because it coincided with DH having time off - but both the kids and the grandparents requested it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some cultures do this or similar as a matter of course. I have never heard of it having a negative impact on the kids. It's time for them to enjoy gran stories, be indulged, connect. If kids are happy then great.

My niece 8 comes to mine for school holidays she traveled back home today for school tomorrow.
She will be back again for the May holiday and most of the 6 weeks holiday.
She prefers to come and stay with me instead of going to holiday club.
My nephew doesn't come most holidays because he prefers to go to the holiday club.

Bloody hell, my parents won’t even have my kids overnight (they’re too busy apparently) so I’m a bit envious!

Crueler than them being left to fend for themselves for the holidays?

Different folks, different strokes.

I don’t think there are any boarding schools taking kids age 5. Or if you find one it will be the exception.
I think a 5 yr old would probably find this hard, yes. On the other hand developing strong relationship with grandparents could be great. I didn’t have this and neither will my kids (grandparents either dead or disinterested).

the only consideration really is if the kids are happy enough with this arrangement. Sure being at their grandparents / treated / taken out often is enjoyable as opposed to cruel.

Oh my goodness I actually think this is fab for the kids, if the grandparents are fit and healthy and also enjoy it. They get unrivalled attention and probably treats, maybe make new friends there, experience different places. The parents can go to work without feeling guilty. We have no childcare, me and DH run a business and I feel constant guilt and pressure during school holidays juggling everything, working from home between us, taking them to work sometimes, trying to sneak out of work at lunch time to go to the park when I’m really busy. I feel pulled in several directions at once. This seems ideal to me and probably memories for the kids they will treasure forever.

I loved going to my half sister's in the summer holidays from age 5. She had a lovely clean, tidy, beautifully furnished house, surrounded by parks, fields, holiday activity clubs, a skating rink, there was her daughter and the other children in the street to play with, nice food, trips out to interesting places - I never wanted to come back.

The only thing I missed was my cat. But she bought me a soft toy that looked like her, so I even had that there.

Having had a miserable childhood with parents that were very strict and even had an issue with me quietly reading in my room, spending extended holidays with grandparents would’ve been bliss to me! Not sure what’s so cruel about it. As long as the grandparents are not mistreating the kids, it sounds a good and safe way for kids to spend quality and independent time away from parents and bond with other family members.

This would have been a dream come true, if this had happened in my childhood. The happiest weeks of my life were spent with my nanna and grandad

My dc love going to grandparents. They get spolit rotten. There are many fun things to do.

A bf of ds1 went to Poland for a huge chunk of summer, spent time by the sea in the sunshine having a wonderful time with family he loves and who love him. His parents were working so not much fun to be had stuck in a UK city. I was quite envious of my friends who have family who can do that for them.

If children are blessed with capable, fit grandparents, I see nothing wrong with it.

Unfortunately my parents are neither capable or fit, so it's holiday club mixed with our own annual leave.

I'm glad that we have a good nursery though that is a like a 2nd home for our kids.

From being 12mths old I had my GD for days/week at a time. They lived 3 hours away and we have all family near me. My GD loves her aunts and uncles and gets so much from extended family time wise. Imagine having six extra people who love you unconditionally apart from your parents.
What's amazing is they have now moved 10 minutes away and we get to see and support her on a daily basis and my DD of course gets to work in a high pressure job without worrying about time restrictions, I am always available.

My db+ds+I got shipped off to my grandparents all the time, all hols, without fail. I can't tell you the joy, the happiness, the change of surroundings, a totally different way of life, a Victorian freezing house, Victorian discipline, weird meals, and a set of different friends, fondest memories, best memories, so exciting, like Narnia, literally. Like a film set, only real. Longed to get away from parents, like all children do, pretend we were orphans or suchlike, 'dirty books in the library' - Maupassant and Boccaccio, and A Thousand and One Nights (with pictures!!!). So sad my dc had nothing of the sort, really sad.

It's so subjective. Maybe the grandparents are idyllic and live in a cosy home full of wonder and It's a wonderful break from home?
Having said that I do think it's a very long time for a five year old. You would really have to trust the grandparents to be honest about whether they are being honest that the kids are really ok